Writing Feedback / IES: the state pay all students tuition fees, or students should pay themselves? [7]

Please help me with this essay. Could you give your opinion about task response, grammar, lexical resources and cohesion. Which band could this essay get?. thank you very much!

People have different views about whether university students should pay all their tuition fees or it would be better for them to have access to free education funded by the government. Personally, I believe that students should receive subsidies from the state to pay for a part of their fee, and pay themselves the rest of this cost.

To begin with, there are good reasons why the state should financially support college students in terms of paying their fee partly. It is true that the education cost is extremely expensive. Students have to pay a great deal of money for various things such as accommodation, books and CDs which are crucial for their studies. The point is that the majority of students can not afford these things, and even some of students from poor families may not continue studying due to lack of money. It would also be a complete waste if talented students dropped out of school as they were unable to pay their study fees. Thus, it is tremendously important for the government to give financial support to students from states.

Nevertheless, I would argue that university students should also pay a small amount of money for their tuition fee. First, the national budget of any nation is limited. If the government subsidize free higher education, they have to spend less on other fields such as heathcare or military which are obviously vital to the development of a country. Furthermore, it is undeniably noticeable that if all students can gain free schooling, they will not appreciate their study any more. Students tend to focus more on their paperwork when they pay for tuition fee. For example, Vietnamese students have to spend 500000 VND each month on education fee, so that everybody need to put an emphasis on studying to avoid wasting that money.

In conclusion, I personally contend that university students should receive fund from the state , and simultaneously pay for their own tuition fee.

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2: the development of technology and its implication [2]

Topic: when a country develop its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, since the introduction of computers, the acquisition of knowledge and new skills seem to be easier and amazing. Some people believe that the traditional skills and ways of life should not be keep alive while others argue that such kinds of pricelessly cultural value will exist forever. In my opinion, the former and the latter idea have both negative and positive effects on people's lives for the following reasons

Firstly, with the development of technology, people have tendency to spend more time improving their computer literacy and exploring fantastic functions of computers and high-tech media such as staying in touch with their family and friends all around the world via Facebook of Skype. The important and practical skills like coordination, communicating and broading social network become easier to be accumulated. It is likely unnecessary to keep the traditional skills and lifestyles such as readings books, sending gifts by parcel which are out of date. People should only develop practical skills which help them to improve for their careers and render obsoletes. By approaching to new and updated technology, we can conveniently facilitate our living standard and the countries' economies will be more developed.

Nevertheless, it is undeniable that the traditional skills and ways of life always play and indispensable role on our lives. The culture took thousands years to form should be reserved and kept through generations. With the young generations always keeping updated with the newest technology, they seem to be act the same. For example, it is hard to distinguish a teenager from others in the street because they all wear T-shirt, play music on I-pod and move to the music. People, especially the young, have the same schedules, waking up late in the morning, then going to offices or schools and paying attention on their smartphone or going online via the Internet. It is a waste of their valuable time on such kind of things. No sooner do the young act the same everyday than the cultural assimilation will become true in the near future.

In conclusion, it is clear that the development of technology has effected our lives in many positive ways. However, we should keep updated with the new technology and simultaneously reserve out traditional skills as well as our traditional culture to become better in life.

Please help me to check the grammar, vocabulary as well as idea. Which IE writing band do you think this essay could be gotten? Special thank!!!

Writing Feedback / 'I must learn from my father' - Academic writing for Ielts [2]

Describe a person who you admire and explain why you admire him or her

The person who I admire most is not famous at all. He is my father, who not only brings me up but also teaches me lots of things in my life. my father is a good example to me

My father has a medium height. He walks composedly. My father has tawny skin, it makes him look strong and manly. His smart appearance and warm voice make everyone who contacts him feel like him immediately. When I learn well and do good things, my father always smile with me. It was his smile that made me have more promotion to try my best and get over all hindrances

As a worker, my father have to work very hard at factory, so he usually fells tired when he return home. But I have never seen my father lose his temper. Although he dresses simply, my father always manages to be elegant. My father is a fair-minded person who treats everyone with equal respect. He is always calm and trustable before any situations. My father rarely watches tv, he usually reads book in his leisure time. Sometimes he go fishing with his friends at the weekend. My father used to helping my mother with her housework and cooking. He is a ideal husband and model dad for my mom and I.

The most reason I admire my father is his belief in life. my father is not a lucky person, he had failed the college exam twice, missed only a half mark. Even so my father is an optimist. He always sees the bright side of the most difficult problem and be calm to solve it. He never surrenders his lot and tries his best to gets over all of obstacles in life. I need to try more to learn that personality of my father. Not only having a lot of good manner, my father but also is a multitalented person. He plays chess very well, has a good singing voice, too. I always feel proud of all things my father do.

Giving my birth, directing me the fisrt step, teaching me how to live well, telling me the best advice, encouraging me when I got in difficult, loving me with all his heart , my father play an very important role in my life. There are many of good personalities which I must learn from my father. To me, my father is always the best person who I admire.

My skill of writing E is very bad. Please help me to check the grammar, vocabulary and style of my essay. thank you very much!