Undergraduate / My fascination for process of invention; Carnegie Mellon; Major? [8]

I'm unsure about the order of my paragraphs. I would appreciate any comments about organization, grammar, and the overall content. I'm afraid that this essay is too boring. :(

Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know. If you are applying to more than one college or program, please mention each college or program you are applying to. Because our admission committees review applicants by college and programs, your essay can impact our final decision. Please do not exceed one page for this essay.

Growing up in an age of the greatest technological advancements, I have always been fascinated by the process of invention. When interacting with a device every day, it is inevitable that I be drawn to its inner workings. When my computer broke, I grasped the opportunity to learn about the machine in greater depth. I took apart my computer and learned the individual functions of each part. Although I am constantly feeding my relentless curiosity, my hunger for more knowledge only grows when thinking about the infinite possibilities in the field of computers and machines.

After understanding the computer as a machine, I desired to learn how to utilize and improve it. Taking a computer science elective in school, I learned basic programming skills. I was fascinated by the very idea of programming languages. With code, I could communicate with my computer. This epiphany triggered another: computers have an entirely different "thinking" process. I realized that machines possessed their own ways of computing and analyzing data than humans do, and I wanted to learn it. After several days of research, I discovered the study of computer science.

Equipped with my newfound knowledge in the computer's structure and language, I was ready for more. In my digital electronics class I learned how and what makes the computer function. Learning how to design, and build circuits invigorated me, because it brought computers to life. My understanding of a machine began to correlate to the system of a living creature. Like blood pumping through an organism's veins, electricity ran through the wires. As an animal needs its physical senses, a machine requires input data. Although many view computer engineering as a very concrete and rational area of study, I found beauty and elegance in its magnificence.

Computer engineering and computer science also attracted me because of its amazing flexibility in the world today. With rapid growth in technology, computers are necessary in sustaining and improving the conditions of human life. Because computer technology is so inextricably woven into our everyday lives, there is a constant demand for computer engineers in many different fields. Desiring an intellectually-challenging occupation, computer engineering will give me the opportunity to explore many areas of interest.

In order to unlock the many different prospects that computer engineering and computer science possess, I must be equipped with the proper knowledge. Carnegie Mellon's excellent academic program in both fields attracted me because of the many opportunities that would be presented to me. During the sleeping bag weekend, I was able to experience the colleges' tight-knit community, and very comfortable environment. Although Carnegie Mellon consisted of many colleges of different nature, the inter-disciplinary courses combined their differences with ease. When attending the computer science and engineering seminars, I saw that the university possesses the tools and education system that will train me for the real world. I expect my future college to adequately prepare me for my introduction to my professional career, and I trust Carnegie Mellon's top ranked colleges to do exactly that.

As a computer engineer and computer science specialist, I will be able to explore uncharted territories and improve people's everyday lives. The process of improving and designing astounds me because ideas have no boundaries. Invention is limitless. Everyday life possesses so much potential for progress, and the possibility that I could delve into those countless possibilities, excites me.

Undergraduate / UMich Diversity (Short Essay, my Korean-style lunch) [5]

Hello! I'm looking for any comments on the grammar or content of my essay. I was trying to focus on how the differences between people actually bring them together to form a much more enriching experience.

Please notify me if you think my vocabulary is too repetitive!

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

Sitting down at the round lunch table, I anxiously stared at all the different faces surrounding me. With some hesitation, I took out the plastic container that held my home-made lunch. As I pulled off the lid, I silently muttered to myself, "Please, please, please do not stink up the cafeteria." Raising my head, I realized that nobody took any notice of my Korean-style lunch, because they were busy unpacking their own ethnic food. Coming from very different backgrounds, my friends and I varied greatly in color, size, shape, and style.

Gradually getting to know my friends through their ethnic lunches, I realized that differences connected my friends and me as people. The diversity existed not only in race, but also in intellectual and social aspects. Looking around, I could easily spot a group of friends talking about the latest fashion craze, while others debated about a recent political controversy. Although my friends possessed their own individual ethnicity, fashion sense, political stance, and perspectives on life, the differences between them complemented each other.

Through my encounters with the distinctive traits and talents of my friends, I have gained a large array of enriching learning experiences and life lessons. As many people have influenced me with their uniqueness, I hope to contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan with my own individuality as a Korean-American, a female, an engineer, and a human being.

Undergraduate / UMich Setback Essay (alcoholism addiction problem) [10]

I would greatly appreciate any feedback that you have! Thank you!

Question:
Describe a setback that you have faced. How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?

Guided only by the yellow seam of light escaping from the bottom of the bathroom door, I walked on the squeaky floorboards through the unlit hallway. I turned the knob and pushed the door, until I heard a thud. Rubbing my tired eyes, I leaned towards the open crack to see what was obstructing the door's path. My eyes grew wide as I came to realize that my father's unconscious body lay on the floor. A gust of foul breath hit my face as I realized that my father had passed out from excessive drinking. With the image of the pitiable alcoholic engraved into my brain, I felt a rush of disappointment and pain; this was not the father I knew. This was only the first of the many nights that I would live in fear of his addiction.

The repercussions of my father's alcoholism were deeply felt by all the members of my family. His addiction was a betrayal, and the pain it caused was profound. In the daytime, my father was the caring, gentle, and strong man that raised me, and supported me. At night, he was a boorish, weak, and pitiful man who was a stranger to me. As a young child, I was confused by the contrast in his different personalities, and intensely afraid of losing the father that I knew and loved. I was ashamed of his dependence on a material substance, and disheartened when I realized that the man that raised me was so pathetic.

Because of my young age, I was unable to truly confront my father of his drinking habit. I did not know what to say to make my dad realize the pain that he wrought on my family and himself. And so, I chose to have faith and patience in my father, and to be there for him. Every night, he had a family to come home to, and I hoped that our presence would be enough reason to quit. Every night, before going to sleep, I prayed that God would give my family the strength to prevail. I never hated my father, nor did I attempt to run away from his problem. For the sake of our family, he needed to quit his addiction and I remained by his side to remind him of that. Because I loved my father, I did not, and could not give up on him. In time, my father realized that he had to quit, because he loved us in return.

Even after my father had rid himself of his dependency on alcohol, my family was still in recovery. Although I did love my dad, forgiving him for his betrayal would take time. In truth, my family's struggle with his addiction made me a stronger person, and has equipped me with the necessary tools that are required to face the many obstacles in my future. If I ever encounter a similar setback, I can confidently say that I will be able to confront the situation as a maturing adult with even more fortitude and trust.