dhruvsharma
Jan 2, 2009
Undergraduate / 'A cultural center for college students' - Why Boston University? [8]
New York City moves too fast for me at times
New York City moves too fast for me at times
dhruvsharma
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words ) [11]
seriously?
so i should chuck the details?
seriously?
so i should chuck the details?
dhruvsharma
Jan 1, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words ) [11]
This may be my final draft:
I have tried to incorporate some more details. Please Comment.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Until seven days ago, I had one focus - to make it to Carnegie Mellon, score that 90 plus percentile in my finals, yet perform every gig my band was offered.
I still hold on to that dream, but with a difference.
From an "I, Me and Myself" approach to life, a sudden twist of fate put things in a new perspective. While I had always appreciated the good things of life, I had also taken them for granted. No, I'm not talking about material pleasures. I'm talking about the most important one: family.
Since childhood, I have had only one grandparent. My grandmother - my Dadi. Remarkably selfless, to me she epitomised the archetypal grandmother. Simple, adoring, lovable and always around. Till the time she fell prey to a deadly eye disease: Endophthalmitis.
Endophthalmitis is an inflammation of the internal coats of the eye. It is a dreaded complication of all intraocular surgeries, particularly cataract surgery (which she had undergone six years ago) with possible loss of vision and the eye itself.
Overnight, she went blind. And my world changed.
From her preparing tea for me late at night, while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed. Now, it was the whole family monitoring her every move, her every need with single minded dedication. Night after night, they held vigil as eye drops had to be administered every ten minutes. The antibiotics I.V. had to be paced just so, for maximum efficacy. Sleep was not an option, amidst all this. I watched them all take turns, willingly. No matter if there were important, pre-scheduled meetings, or dinners. Right now, there was one, single priority - Dadi.
Even I fell into a pattern, when my watch came. Fifteen minutes of Linear Programming. Eye drops. Thirty minutes of Macroeconomics. Amikacin shots. An hour of Business Studies. Oral Ciplox. As I write this, it's time for the next dose.
Strange as it may sound, even these dark days have had a bright side to them. In all of my 17 years, I have never seen my family bond as much as it did in this past week. If one could will away an infection with sheer, dogged determination and exacting care, my family collectively would have done it. Prognosis, or no prognosis! Caring, sharing, laughing and yes, even crying at every step of her recovery, it has strengthened our confidence in each other. We know that each of us will be there for the other, in times of need. Most importantly I have found a new, hitherto unknown source of strength, a wellspring of trust which I'd never known existed.
There is a 10% chance of recovery from Endophthalmitis, so I have heard. Though slowly, my grandmother is recovering from this disease. I do not give fate complete credit for this. I believe we owe it to the unstinting, untiring effort of a family united.
One freak incident. But how its changed my whole outlook in life. The words uncle, aunt, mother, father, sister - and of course grandmother - have a whole new dimension to them. Making me realise that no man is an island.
Today, I stand humbled before the power of the best support system in the world : Family.
This may be my final draft:
I have tried to incorporate some more details. Please Comment.
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Until seven days ago, I had one focus - to make it to Carnegie Mellon, score that 90 plus percentile in my finals, yet perform every gig my band was offered.
I still hold on to that dream, but with a difference.
From an "I, Me and Myself" approach to life, a sudden twist of fate put things in a new perspective. While I had always appreciated the good things of life, I had also taken them for granted. No, I'm not talking about material pleasures. I'm talking about the most important one: family.
Since childhood, I have had only one grandparent. My grandmother - my Dadi. Remarkably selfless, to me she epitomised the archetypal grandmother. Simple, adoring, lovable and always around. Till the time she fell prey to a deadly eye disease: Endophthalmitis.
Endophthalmitis is an inflammation of the internal coats of the eye. It is a dreaded complication of all intraocular surgeries, particularly cataract surgery (which she had undergone six years ago) with possible loss of vision and the eye itself.
Overnight, she went blind. And my world changed.
From her preparing tea for me late at night, while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed. Now, it was the whole family monitoring her every move, her every need with single minded dedication. Night after night, they held vigil as eye drops had to be administered every ten minutes. The antibiotics I.V. had to be paced just so, for maximum efficacy. Sleep was not an option, amidst all this. I watched them all take turns, willingly. No matter if there were important, pre-scheduled meetings, or dinners. Right now, there was one, single priority - Dadi.
Even I fell into a pattern, when my watch came. Fifteen minutes of Linear Programming. Eye drops. Thirty minutes of Macroeconomics. Amikacin shots. An hour of Business Studies. Oral Ciplox. As I write this, it's time for the next dose.
Strange as it may sound, even these dark days have had a bright side to them. In all of my 17 years, I have never seen my family bond as much as it did in this past week. If one could will away an infection with sheer, dogged determination and exacting care, my family collectively would have done it. Prognosis, or no prognosis! Caring, sharing, laughing and yes, even crying at every step of her recovery, it has strengthened our confidence in each other. We know that each of us will be there for the other, in times of need. Most importantly I have found a new, hitherto unknown source of strength, a wellspring of trust which I'd never known existed.
There is a 10% chance of recovery from Endophthalmitis, so I have heard. Though slowly, my grandmother is recovering from this disease. I do not give fate complete credit for this. I believe we owe it to the unstinting, untiring effort of a family united.
One freak incident. But how its changed my whole outlook in life. The words uncle, aunt, mother, father, sister - and of course grandmother - have a whole new dimension to them. Making me realise that no man is an island.
Today, I stand humbled before the power of the best support system in the world : Family.
dhruvsharma
Dec 31, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Main Essay ("cultures of plants") [4]
Topic Of My Own
Rays of the early morning sun peep into the little bottle garden on my study. The ferns, flora and foliage gently unfurl their tiny leaves within the glass bowl. Time stands still as I gaze at them, mesmerized by the way they each reach out to one another, in a fraternity of planthood. Ferns, moss, begonias, and crotons bask in the warm sun, different in every way, but held together in a perfect whole. Their beauty is only magnified through the concave glass I view them from.
My bond with these little creatures is unusual, enhanced by the analogies I draw between their lives and mine. My face reflected in the glass fuses me with the bottle garden - I am in it, and it, in turn, is within me.
In the terrarium within me, cultures of plants abound, each making their presence felt. My family is an amalgamation of several species; an exotic mix of Northern and Southern India. Raised in diverse locales, my parents carry with them their unique cultural and regional tastes that are characteristic of the vibrant ecology of India. It is due to my family that I have been exposed to various languages and customs, even cuisines. This has provided me with a copious supply of ideas, thoughts and knowledge that has fertilized and nourished my understanding of the world.
Growing out of the glass bowl, I entered the environment of a boarding school located near Pune, far away from my home in New Delhi. Sahyadri School K.F.I nurtured me further, making me acutely aware of my self and surroundings. My four years here helped me learn to adapt to an entirely new genus of people, also making me self-reliant and independent. Learning here was completely different - while in chemistry class we made laughing gas and gunpowder, I understood contours in geography by studying the forested hills around the school. I distinctly remember one class in biology when we analyzed the scat of a leopard prowling the nearby hills!
Daily interactions in the school community cultivated in me a fascination for understanding the human biosphere of society. At the same time, I was drawn to the beauty of the natural world my school was located in, and the realm of the sciences intrigued me.
My roots lie firmly grounded in rich soil, but my fingertips and mind have an insatiable wanderlust. From treks in the mystic Himalayas, to safaris in Kenya and unearthing ancient secrets in Egypt, my love for travel has taken me places. Each of these trips spurred in me a new passion. Egypt left me with the hunger to explore every ancient civilization, while Kenya instilled the dream of protecting the environment and endangered species. Wherever I go, I attempt to imbibe all that I can possibly absorb, each time adding a new, exhilarating spurt of growth to my interests, learnings and experiences.
***
A gust of wind blows through my bedroom window. My plants revel in the air of new opportunity and promise. I see how they have outgrown the glass bowl, ready for the newer terrains outside. Gently, I scoop them out, one by one, carefully transplanting them in the garden outside. It is time they move on. And it is time I do too. New ecosystems beckon me, new worlds lie before me, and I must answer their call. My roots will remain forever grounded, but my stems will shoot to the sky, knowing no limits. And my glass bowl will forever remain on my window-sill - a cherished memory.
Topic Of My Own
Rays of the early morning sun peep into the little bottle garden on my study. The ferns, flora and foliage gently unfurl their tiny leaves within the glass bowl. Time stands still as I gaze at them, mesmerized by the way they each reach out to one another, in a fraternity of planthood. Ferns, moss, begonias, and crotons bask in the warm sun, different in every way, but held together in a perfect whole. Their beauty is only magnified through the concave glass I view them from.
My bond with these little creatures is unusual, enhanced by the analogies I draw between their lives and mine. My face reflected in the glass fuses me with the bottle garden - I am in it, and it, in turn, is within me.
In the terrarium within me, cultures of plants abound, each making their presence felt. My family is an amalgamation of several species; an exotic mix of Northern and Southern India. Raised in diverse locales, my parents carry with them their unique cultural and regional tastes that are characteristic of the vibrant ecology of India. It is due to my family that I have been exposed to various languages and customs, even cuisines. This has provided me with a copious supply of ideas, thoughts and knowledge that has fertilized and nourished my understanding of the world.
Growing out of the glass bowl, I entered the environment of a boarding school located near Pune, far away from my home in New Delhi. Sahyadri School K.F.I nurtured me further, making me acutely aware of my self and surroundings. My four years here helped me learn to adapt to an entirely new genus of people, also making me self-reliant and independent. Learning here was completely different - while in chemistry class we made laughing gas and gunpowder, I understood contours in geography by studying the forested hills around the school. I distinctly remember one class in biology when we analyzed the scat of a leopard prowling the nearby hills!
Daily interactions in the school community cultivated in me a fascination for understanding the human biosphere of society. At the same time, I was drawn to the beauty of the natural world my school was located in, and the realm of the sciences intrigued me.
My roots lie firmly grounded in rich soil, but my fingertips and mind have an insatiable wanderlust. From treks in the mystic Himalayas, to safaris in Kenya and unearthing ancient secrets in Egypt, my love for travel has taken me places. Each of these trips spurred in me a new passion. Egypt left me with the hunger to explore every ancient civilization, while Kenya instilled the dream of protecting the environment and endangered species. Wherever I go, I attempt to imbibe all that I can possibly absorb, each time adding a new, exhilarating spurt of growth to my interests, learnings and experiences.
***
A gust of wind blows through my bedroom window. My plants revel in the air of new opportunity and promise. I see how they have outgrown the glass bowl, ready for the newer terrains outside. Gently, I scoop them out, one by one, carefully transplanting them in the garden outside. It is time they move on. And it is time I do too. New ecosystems beckon me, new worlds lie before me, and I must answer their call. My roots will remain forever grounded, but my stems will shoot to the sky, knowing no limits. And my glass bowl will forever remain on my window-sill - a cherished memory.
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words ) [11]
im going to change the name of the college for each application i send.. carnegie mellon was only an example. appreciate the rest of your tips this was only a first draft :)
do react to my next post.(which will hopefully be the final one)
"From her preparing tea for me late at night while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed." - any rephrasing suggestions?
about till and untill, doesnt till sound sharper yet convey the same meaning?
im going to change the name of the college for each application i send.. carnegie mellon was only an example. appreciate the rest of your tips this was only a first draft :)
do react to my next post.(which will hopefully be the final one)
"From her preparing tea for me late at night while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed." - any rephrasing suggestions?
about till and untill, doesnt till sound sharper yet convey the same meaning?
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words ) [11]
Thank you so much :D
I was reallly worried about not having a strong focus / giving out unnecessary details.
ANY suggestions for a better ending ?
Thank you so much :D
I was reallly worried about not having a strong focus / giving out unnecessary details.
ANY suggestions for a better ending ?
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Extracurricular Essay - 150 words or fewer. [5]
I would love to talk about my experiences, maybe even elaborating on some of my gigs, but its only a 150 words :( thanks for the grammar check though, just slipped my mind
:)
However I felt my expression was limited to a certain genre of music, which diversified at best to fusion
Thanks the sentence sounds so much better.
I would love to talk about my experiences, maybe even elaborating on some of my gigs, but its only a 150 words :( thanks for the grammar check though, just slipped my mind
:)
However I felt my expression was limited to a certain genre of music, which diversified at best to fusion
Thanks the sentence sounds so much better.
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Extracurricular Essay - 150 words or fewer. [5]
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
From early childhood, my strong sense of rhythm and fascination with beats, led me to try out different percussion instruments. I started with the "Tabla",a unique Indian Congo-like instrument which I thoroughly enjoyed playing for all our School events. However I felt my expression limited to a certain genre of music, which diversified at best to fusion.
From there it was a natural progression to my Drum-set. The versatility of the different components-the crash, bass-drum, toms, all gave me an almost unlimited freedom to express myself. I loved the feeling of performing gigs - at schools, restaurants, stadiums - making hundreds of people sway to my beats. Getting critical reviews in news-papers also encouraged me to hone up my act.
But even as I continue drumming, my fascination with beats has led me to another dimension of creative expression - Dancing. Call it Hip Hop, B-Boying or Breaking.
In short, rhythm defines me.
In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience)(150 words or fewer).
From early childhood, my strong sense of rhythm and fascination with beats, led me to try out different percussion instruments. I started with the "Tabla",a unique Indian Congo-like instrument which I thoroughly enjoyed playing for all our School events. However I felt my expression limited to a certain genre of music, which diversified at best to fusion.
From there it was a natural progression to my Drum-set. The versatility of the different components-the crash, bass-drum, toms, all gave me an almost unlimited freedom to express myself. I loved the feeling of performing gigs - at schools, restaurants, stadiums - making hundreds of people sway to my beats. Getting critical reviews in news-papers also encouraged me to hone up my act.
But even as I continue drumming, my fascination with beats has led me to another dimension of creative expression - Dancing. Call it Hip Hop, B-Boying or Breaking.
In short, rhythm defines me.
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / "Money is a villian" - Notre Dame Supplement Essay [4]
I really liked the genuine concern i could feel in your essay.
Im guessing its because you have actually been through hard times, which is very different from imagining them.
You have 2 solid experiences which i doubt many others can brag they faced.
"development matured quite painfully"
Personally ,"painfully " seems rather harsh to me, makes it sound like it didn't let you develop to your full potential.
I really liked the genuine concern i could feel in your essay.
Im guessing its because you have actually been through hard times, which is very different from imagining them.
You have 2 solid experiences which i doubt many others can brag they faced.
"development matured quite painfully"
Personally ,"painfully " seems rather harsh to me, makes it sound like it didn't let you develop to your full potential.
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / NYU 5 short question supplement- Stern [5]
"One of my favorite lines"
You missed a S in your fourth essay.
Small, yet prominent mistake.
I loved your last essay. The whole investment potential factor is great! :)
Its not vague like most other essays I've read.
"One of my favorite lines"
You missed a S in your fourth essay.
Small, yet prominent mistake.
I loved your last essay. The whole investment potential factor is great! :)
Its not vague like most other essays I've read.
dhruvsharma
Dec 30, 2008
Undergraduate / Common App Essay ( The one with unlimited words ) [11]
Im looking for a better beginning and solid conclusion.My brain just froze towards the end :(
Also any other comments are welcome :)
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Till last week, I had one focus - to make it to Carnegie Mellon, score well on my finals and maintain my extracurricular interests.
I still hold on to that dream, but with a difference.
From an "I, Me and Myself" approach to life, a sudden twist of fate put things in a new perspective. While I had always appreciated the good things of life, I had also taken them for granted. No, I'm not talking about material pleasures. I'm talking about the most important issue: family.
Since childhood, I have had one grandparent. Simple, adoring, lovable and always around. Till the time she fell prey to a deadly eye disease: Endophthalmitis. Endophthalmitis is an inflammation of the internal coats of the eye. It is a dreaded complication of all intraocular surgeries, particularly cataract surgery (which she had undergone six years ago) with possible loss of vision and the eye itself.
Overnight, she went blind and my world changed.
From her preparing tea for me late at night while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed. Now, it was the whole family monitoring her every move, her every need. Even I fell into a pattern. Fifteen minutes of Linear Programming. Eye drops. Thirty minutes of Macroeconomics. Amycalin shots. An hour of Business Studies. Oral Ciplox.
Strange as it may sound, even these dark days have had a bright side to them. In all of my 17 years, I have never seen my family bond as much as in this past week. Caring, sharing, laughing and yes, even crying at every step of her recovery. It has strengthened our confidence in each other. We know that each of us will be there for the other, in times of need. Most importantly I have found a new hitherto unknown source of strength, a wellspring of trust when I least expected it.
There is a 10% chance of recovery from Endophthalmitis, so I have heard. Though slowly, my grandmother is recovering from this disease. I do not give fate complete credit for this. I believe we owe it to the unstinting, untiring effort of a family united.
This incident has changed my outlook on life. I found out the strengths and support , relationships in my family have. I face life's challenges with renewed enthusiasm and confidence.
Im looking for a better beginning and solid conclusion.My brain just froze towards the end :(
Also any other comments are welcome :)
Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Till last week, I had one focus - to make it to Carnegie Mellon, score well on my finals and maintain my extracurricular interests.
I still hold on to that dream, but with a difference.
From an "I, Me and Myself" approach to life, a sudden twist of fate put things in a new perspective. While I had always appreciated the good things of life, I had also taken them for granted. No, I'm not talking about material pleasures. I'm talking about the most important issue: family.
Since childhood, I have had one grandparent. Simple, adoring, lovable and always around. Till the time she fell prey to a deadly eye disease: Endophthalmitis. Endophthalmitis is an inflammation of the internal coats of the eye. It is a dreaded complication of all intraocular surgeries, particularly cataract surgery (which she had undergone six years ago) with possible loss of vision and the eye itself.
Overnight, she went blind and my world changed.
From her preparing tea for me late at night while I pored over differential equations, the situation got reversed. Now, it was the whole family monitoring her every move, her every need. Even I fell into a pattern. Fifteen minutes of Linear Programming. Eye drops. Thirty minutes of Macroeconomics. Amycalin shots. An hour of Business Studies. Oral Ciplox.
Strange as it may sound, even these dark days have had a bright side to them. In all of my 17 years, I have never seen my family bond as much as in this past week. Caring, sharing, laughing and yes, even crying at every step of her recovery. It has strengthened our confidence in each other. We know that each of us will be there for the other, in times of need. Most importantly I have found a new hitherto unknown source of strength, a wellspring of trust when I least expected it.
There is a 10% chance of recovery from Endophthalmitis, so I have heard. Though slowly, my grandmother is recovering from this disease. I do not give fate complete credit for this. I believe we owe it to the unstinting, untiring effort of a family united.
This incident has changed my outlook on life. I found out the strengths and support , relationships in my family have. I face life's challenges with renewed enthusiasm and confidence.
