Undergraduate / Common app essay(My friend said it's bad) [4]

Please help me to take a look. I am really bad in writing. Give me comments on the struture, grammar, and wording. Since i am not a native English speaker, i might use wrong wording. Any part is unclear, please tell me and why.

Plus which prompt is my essay belongs to?

-Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you
-Topic of your choice curriculum

It has been six years since I came to United States. The American culture in New York was not as easy as I thought. As an American new comer, I struggled with learning English and adapting to a new environment. With limited English skill, it was difficult to communicate with others. I had a hard time making new friends and I isolated myself from other students. From the fear of not being able to provide a better life for my mom, I forced myself to learn a whole new language and during this process I gained independence and confidence.

In school, I was put into a bilingual class. My cousin said it was a "dumb" class.

On my first day, everything seemed strange to me and I was scared, I wanted to go back to the school in my country. I did not understand a word the teacher said or other students. I was disappointed in myself, all I can do is look around and copy down the notes from the board. I thought about giving up; however, when I think about how hard my mom works, it just encourages me to work as hard. I want to provide a better life for her in the future.

I flipped through the pages of the textbook. To me, the text were nonsense. How can I possibly do homework when I can not understand anything! I felt an eager to ask my cousin for help, but I did not want to rely on her. With my electronic dictionary's help, I could pronounce these gibberish words and understand what they mean. Slowly, English was not gibberish to me anymore, it was a language.

"Student Honor Award presented to XinXin He!" the principal said. I hurried up the stage and shook my hand with the principal. My ELL teacher came out and congratulated me and said "This is the reward to our hard work and contribution for three years in Cunningham." I was more than surprised, and I was proud of myself for once. I had tears dangling in my eyes. As I walked off the stage I saw my mom, she had a big smile on her face. My mother did not say anything; but I knew she was proud of me. From receiving this award, I believed that with hard work, anything was possible. Now I wanted more than just being an average student, I wanted to be remarkable. In the eleventh grade, I joined the SWAT team to tutor students who needed help in math. I could not only speak English now, but explain ideas clearly to the others.

Today, others can understand what I am trying to say clearly. I was able to not only adapt to a society which I found hard, but learn many. I also made friends from classes and "friends" like ambition and responsibility. The taciturn person had changed to one being confident and outspoken. Challenging myself and tacking obstacles became part of my interest. For this reason, I joined the Senior Math Team and Virtual Enterprise. After years of hard work and experiences, I am ready to go on. Yes, I am ready to go onto college and build a future.

Undergraduate / NYU supplements ("My mother and I are filial") [2]

I am very bad in writing, and some of the answers are too much. The word counts here include blank space. All comments welcome. (max 500 characters for each prompt)

1. describe a trait or characteristics that has been passed along to you by your family. tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.

My mother and I are filial. We show filial obedience differently. My mom has phone calls to my grandmother weekly to chat with random topics. My mom also invites my grandmother out to lunch often. My own way to care about my mom is to keep her content. I try my best to maintain a good academic record. My mom can not speak English well. This is one of the main reasons that I chose colleges inside New York. (412)

2. new york city is and essential element of academic and cultural life at nyu. if youu could engage in an activity or start a club or service orginazation at nyu, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

I will engage in The Martial Arts Club at NYU. Through martial arts, people could learn self defense and have a chance to exercise. Practicing martial arts is a way to release pressure from the society. Through martial arts lessons, messages about respect and right way of using martial arts are clearly indicated. (319)

3. you have been selected to sing in a talent show. what song would you choose? why?

In a talent show, the audience consists of many different age levels. I would choose to sing Good Charlotte's "Thank you, Mom." My mom is a single parent. She works very hard to provide my sister and me a better education. Her hands were smooth but now they are rough and full of little cracks. With out my mother, I would not be living and think of going to college. My mom is a motivation to me. Just like part of the lyrics, "I'll always thank you, more than you would know, than I could ever show."(502)

4. please tell us what led you to select your anticipated academic program and/or nyu school/college, and what interests you most about your intended disipline

I am still undecided, but I prefer to go to NYU. I like to play with numbers. Before taking college accounting at 12th grade, I thought accounting is all about putting in numbers. After several weeks, I found out accounting is really about analyzing and use numbers to make decisions. This class is more challenging than expected. My teacher often related the lessons to other area of business. I understand accounting is a type of language and I want to learn higher level of accounting. I also know that NYU offer good business programs. (542)

Undergraduate / Common App Extra Curriculum(150 words, Senior Math Team) [5]

I am not a native English speaker and i am very bad at writing. There are 165 words. Can you please help me to check the grammar, tense, and give me some advice to cut the words down. thx

the prompt
Elaborate on one of your activities(150 words or fewer)

When I had a chance, I joined Senior Math Team during 11th grade and 12th grade. I participated in it in order to improve my SAT scores and to challenge myself. As time passed, I started to love my experience in Math Team. A day after the mathematic contest was held, students wrote solutions of the problems on the board along with explanations. I often volunteer to explain my method of problem-solving. After all, it feels great to hear other students applaud me for my work. I had fun sharing ideas because I learned new concepts. I was glad that the students understood my ideas. Through my experiences in Senior Math Team, I found new ways to look at the same old thing. When I faced a problem, I tried to look at it at from a different angle. The solution came out pretty quick and good. I like to share my thoughts and the people really hear and understand them. Being able to challenge, share and recognize were skills I found in this team.