Writing Feedback / Having two phases - Information gathering & Analyzing; Approach of problem solving [3]

Hi everybody. I really need help on my essay. Would you please do me a favor and revise my essay?
Topic: What is your approach of problem solving?

People use different solution methods when face with a certain kind of problem. My approach to solve a problem is a process having two phases. First, I try to gather information and complete my knowledge about the issue. Then, I will analyze the possible solutions in order to choose the best one.

First of all, it is important to have a complete knowledge about the problem and possible solution. This is a significant phase because this way I can make sure that none of the solutions are left out. For this phase, I tend to consult a variety of people such as my parents, peers, and professional consultants. In addition, I always keep the Internet as an infinite source of information in my mind. This will lead to gathering a broad range of knowledge about the problem and the ways I can cope with it.

At the second phase, knowing the probable solutions I will write all the solutions down in a list. After this, I analyze the benefits and risks of any of them devoting a grade to the benefits as well as the risks and a total number which is a combination of the two. Then, I am able to compare the solutions. Obviously, the one which earns the highest mark will be chosen. After all, if I felt a need of others for implementing my solution, I would ask for an aid from either one of my friends or my parents.

To sum up, there may be several different ways of how to deal with a certain problem. The one I explored is based on my personality and experience and fits me best in two ways. First, I can make sure that none of the possible solutions are neglected and second I have chosen the solution in a logical and scientific process.

Writing Feedback / Toefl Topic: Knowledge from experience or knowledge from books? [3]

Hi everybody.I really appreciate it if you leave useful comments on my essay.
The topic is: Compare and contrast the knowledge gained from experience with the one gained from books? Which source is more important?

We learn a lot of our knowledge from the books. Books are abundant sources of precious knowledge in a wide variety of fields. From my vantage point, however, the knowledge gained from experience is much more prominent. Doubtless, not everything we learn is written in books. Also, knowledge acquired through experience gives us a deeper insight of the issue than the one gained from books.

First and foremost, we learn a lot of our knowledge through life experiences which are not included in any sort of books. Who can learn how to walk without experience? Who can learn how to ride a bicycle even if s/he reads tremendous amount of books? Furthermore, a lot of our social knowledge is gained through lots of experience. The life is the scene of experience. We learn how to deal with difficulties, how to get along our peers, how to control critical situations, and in a word how to live, just through experiences. Definitely, there is a lot of unwritten knowledge which are acquired only by experience.

Secondly, knowledge gained from experience is extremely more perceivable than the one gained from books. To shed light on the issue, I would like to draw your attention to this example. Imagine a ball thrown to the sky; we can learn to predict the motion of the ball by means of studying physics formulations and analyzing the ball motion. Another way is to observe the exact motion of the ball. In other words we can experience the motion in reality. The sense we get of the ball motion from its formulation, never is as sensible as the perception we gain through observing its real motion.

To sum up, there are a lot of real knowledge which cannot be learned by reading even thousands of books. In addition the knowledge gained from experience, always and with no doubt, is much more perceivable than the one gained from books.

Writing Feedback / Do you prefer using machines or doing work by hand? 'Machines are quite precise' [4]

Do you prefer using machines or doing work by hand?

There is a statement which says "Different people, different tastes". From my vantage point, I prefer to use machines rather than work by hand. Machines are always more precise than humans are, they work extremely fast, and they never feel tired.

The main reason for my propensity of using machines is that they are quite precise. Machines do not make any mistakes. They never get distracted from their work by any environmental disturbance. They have intensive focus on their jobs. Moreover, the progressive technology brings the machines more and more precision. Doctors, for example, tend to use robots for surgeries since robots enjoy accurateness up to micro and even nano scales.

Secondly, machines are much faster in comparison with humans. They do not need to make up their minds. They do not need to think of what to do since they are programmable. They may have electrical or hydraulic actuators which are up to twenty times as fast as human muscles. Furthermore, the machines are far more powerful than humans are. There are tremendous amounts of activities which can be accomplished by strong machines only.

Finally, machines are tireless. They can go on working twenty four hours a day and seven days a week. They do not have human limitations. They do not need food, they do not need rest, and they just continue to work as long as the external energy supply is provided. If you are a business owner, in order to be competitive with job market, you have to extensively utilize machines since they have the ability to produce consistently.

In spite of the undeniable fact that working with machines may have some risks, if all the mentioned factors are contemplated, the advantages of using machines outweigh the dangers of its. Consequently, according to my personality and fondness, we may safely reach the conclusion that using machines is a rather wise decision.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Why visit MUSEUMS? Learn History &Culture, Making friends [3]

hi everybody.
please have some comments.
Thanks.

When people travel to a new place, they tend to visit the museums of that place. There may be a couple of advantages in visiting museums which people may benefit from. In my point of view, learning about history and culture, and also taking the chance for making good friends, are the two conspicuous reasons why people visit museums.

The first and the foremost reason why people are willing to visit museums, when they travel to a territory, is that it may provide a tremendous amount of information about different aspects of the history and culture of that place. Museums inform us a lot about the culture, art, and even values of the people who lived in that region. To illustrate this point, consider an ancient artifact from 3000 BC exposed to public view in a museum. It tells the visitors extremely about the skills, lifestyle, thought, and religion of the native ancestors. Museums are a good way to gain great knowledge of the region you are visiting, in a short time.

Another profound profit that visiting a museum can bring is the great opportunity that it provides for everybody to make more cross-regional and even international friends. Needless to say, similar interests will draw people together and make connections between them. While, museums cover a broad range of interests, they are a good place to look for new friends. For instance, I found one of my best friends when I was trying to gain more information about an antique painting in an art history museum. I was fixedly staring at the portrait when he stood nearby and initiated a dialogue in order to share his knowledge with me.

In conclusion, people may visit museums for numerous reasons. Museums serve useful functions. They provide the chance for traveling in time and learning about different periods of history, culture, and civilization, and also they enable people to make more friends.