Undergraduate / 'Describe a moment when your perspective changed' - Brown University Supplement [5]

Xmsamurai
My hometown is one of those close-knit, rural towns where people would comment about how big I've grown or that they liked my family's yearly Thanksgiving card whenever I went to church or the grocery store. One of those towns where neighbors are extensions of family, and they always look out for one another. In my homogeneous community of two thousand villagers, there were only a handful of minorities.

As I grew older, it dawned on me that I was different. I was not like the others, I was not white. I had darker hair, eyes, and skin than my peers, courtesy of my parents, who emigrated to the US from the Philippines when they were students. In my middle school of about one hundred students per grade, I was the only "Asian kid". Because of these differences, I thought that I was somehow "special". I wore my ethnicity with pride, espousing "Filipino pride" by celebrating historical and contemporary Filipino national heroes like Jose Rizal and Manny Pacquiao.

It was not until later that I realized I knew nothing about being Filipino.
When I moved to CT, I enrolled in the local high school for in my sophomore year. I was impressed by its statistics - there were over two thousand students and many of them are ethnic minorities. It was such a stark contrast to Rouses Point and I excitedly anticipated meeting people of all different races, especially "fellow Asians".

I soon met some "Asian kids" in the first few weeks of school. Add "However," here I was shocked by how different they were to from me. Most of them spoke another language at home add "while" here I could speak only one language: English. They ate ethnic foods at home add "but" I hardly ever ate Filipino food.

Was I truly one of them? Did race and ethnicity decide my identity? Or was my identity determined by experiences, living situations, and upbringing? From what I experienced, the latter proved to be true. Even though I was ethnically "Asian", I was more similar to those of my hometown.

I liked how there is a clear point that you are trying to make and it gets to the reader at the end. very well writen, just make sure to fix your sentence structure.

Undergraduate / Momma's Boy- Common App Essay; 'We have the same mannerisms, facial expressions' [4]

The people that who get to know us best, from our virtues to our flaws, are our parents. They have the greatest influence in on our lives because they are the people we interact with most. They sacrifice many commodities in order to give their children the best life possible. We learn the lessons of life from our parents' teachings and much of their beliefs become our own. The religions we choose, political parties we support and even our favorite colors are examples of decisions that could be swayed by our parents. When I think of who has had the greatest impact on my life, without hesitation, I think of my mother. No one could ever be the mother, friend, role model, counselor and motivator that she continues to be. My mother has been the most supportive and influential person in all aspects of my life. and it is Because of her that I have become the unique individual I am.

I am a lot like my mom. We have the same mannerisms, facial expressions and thought processes.We both love to learn, travel, have fun, eat exotic food and spend time with family. From observing my mom's behavior and listening to her enlightening lectures, she has become the greatest contributor to my personality and moral character. In middle school, I breezed through school acquiring good grades without much effort. Seeing how bored and agitated I was becoming towards school, my mom challenged me to take more difficult classes. Although I was reluctant to do so,I did. Upon taking harder classes, I had to develop developed a stronger work ethic and build t a relentless curiosity towards knowledge in order to continue making acceptable grades. With tremendous support and encouragement, she helped me realize the value of hard work and the advantages of having an education.

Her major benefaction to my character was sculpting me into a determined person. My mom's ability to improve her family's life inspires me to always try my best in order to get the most out of my life. I feel that if I do not take advantage of the opportunities she has provided for me, I am being indolent and a disappointment to her. I picked up this quality simply by observing how she responded to the situations that arose in her life. This determination that she has instilled in me will always assist me in any difficult situation I encounter in my life. I feel that determination is a trait necessary to succeed in college. I am determined to pull through all of life's struggles so that I too can have a great impact on the lives of others who may look up to me. I take pride in saying that my mother is truly the greatest impact in/on my life, whose strength continues to inspire me.

Undergraduate / Common App Activities Short Answer; 'My fingers rested on button' [4]

someone please help edit this?

Undergraduate / New York University Supp.: What intrigues you? My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy [3]

I think that this is very well written. The diction really appealed to me while I was reading it. Maybe you can make a smoother transition of the album to its effect on you. Elaborate more on how you will use this as an inspiration to pursue your interests.

Undergraduate / 'America, the melting pot' + 'The right college' - UCF application essays [3]

#2 How has your family history, culture or environment influenced who you are?

A lot of people believe that America is a melting pot of diverse people, and for my family that is no different. As a child, I grew up in an environment with varying cultures and religions. To start (delete, not necessary), my father was raised in a Jewish family in South Florida. This is a stark contrast to my mother, who grew up in a Catholic family in Massachusetts. My extended family consists of a large diversity of Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins ranging from Jamaican, Hispanic, African-American and Asian backgrounds. In addition to this, my immediate family traveled to China in 2008 to adopt a little girl. Being raised in a family with such diversity has been interesting and deeply influenced who I am today. I've been able to learn from many different people that I wouldn't have been possible otherwise.be more specific, maybe include an example/anecdote This has helped me to keep an open mind to others rather than judging them for their differences. I believe that this will also help me later on in life since I will need to interact with an assortment of different people. I am very grateful for this, as it has fueled my interest to travel the world and experience customs that vary from mine.

Overall, very nice response, be more specific as to how the intermingling of different cultural backgrounds made you a different person. Was there a specific instance that changed your persepctive?

#3 Why did you choose to apply to UCF?

Picking the right college has a tough process. After reviewing all of my options The University of Central Florida seems like the right place for me. (have a better ending, these kinds are too overused.) When I first started looking at schools I decided to stay in Florida because it was close to home, but far enough away to experience life on my own. During the process I toured several schools and narrowed down my choices. Every school had its ups and downs, but there was something about UCF that really stood out to me. (be more specific) UCF seems like a place where I can really grow academically. In hopes of attending medical school later on, the courses available will put me on the right path to do so. During my visit I got a good feel for the environment, and I think that UCF would be a great place for me to grow as a person.(more details of the environment and what you liked about it) While visiting I got good vibes from the many useful facilities and the general appearance of the campus. The location was also a selling point for me because Orlando has everything I need to do well in school and have a good time.