eharvey03
Dec 9, 2012
Undergraduate / UW Freshman Application Essay (Personal Statement): Girl meets world! [2]
Hi sylviayso ,
I really like the main ideas you present in this essay. I think both the immigration challenges you faced and your self appraisal of earlier immaturity provides good insight into your value as a university student.
One bit of advice that might help add more impact to your essay would be to add some more details about how these experiences and lessons shaped your current readiness for college. I think the most important sentences of the essay are at the end: "I am very glad that I had this difficult yet rewarding experience to motivate my development into adulthood and its responsibilities in high school. I know that, without this experience, I would not be able to adjust to the independent college career at the University of Washington successfully." But, it would be interesting to hear more about this. What about the difficulty motivated you to change and prepare for responsibility? How has this readied you to be independent and successful at the university? The more specific you can be about the lessons you learned, the better you will sound as a student. Lots of applicants will say that they are mature and independent, but only a few will be able to explain why they are.
Hope that helps.
Hi sylviayso ,
I really like the main ideas you present in this essay. I think both the immigration challenges you faced and your self appraisal of earlier immaturity provides good insight into your value as a university student.
One bit of advice that might help add more impact to your essay would be to add some more details about how these experiences and lessons shaped your current readiness for college. I think the most important sentences of the essay are at the end: "I am very glad that I had this difficult yet rewarding experience to motivate my development into adulthood and its responsibilities in high school. I know that, without this experience, I would not be able to adjust to the independent college career at the University of Washington successfully." But, it would be interesting to hear more about this. What about the difficulty motivated you to change and prepare for responsibility? How has this readied you to be independent and successful at the university? The more specific you can be about the lessons you learned, the better you will sound as a student. Lots of applicants will say that they are mature and independent, but only a few will be able to explain why they are.
Hope that helps.