Scholarship / "work hard" and "don't give up" ; Personal Statement /Forge Scholarship [9]

Please give constructive criticism and input that might be needed for this personal statement. This scholarship is really important for me, PLEASE check for any grammatical error. PLEASE AND THANK YOU!

The words that repetitively replay in my head, "work hard" and "don't give up", are words that my parents have taught me to execute into my life. These words become actions, as they helped me accomplish many things in my life, when I thought it was impossible. Some people don't believe that Asians can be athletic, which made me believe that I am nothing more than a scholar. My passion and hard work proved that statement to be false; I never imagined myself to become a volleyball player, and I never imagined myself to be named District 12-5A All District Volleyball Honorable Mention. My hard work contributed to my success in high school academically as well because it allowed me to get good grades and make the honor roll with distinction every six weeks since my freshman year. My parents taught me the power of action because it is stronger than words alone.

My mom and dad emigrated from Vietnam to America because they wanted a better future for themselves and their future family. In life, a person has to struggle before he succeeds, which is how my parents' life started in America. I still remember the past, my mom had to work two jobs, during the weekdays, she was a seamstress on the weekdays and during the weekends she worked at McDonald's. My dad was a welder on the weekdays, and took care of me and my sister on the weekends. I know that the sweat and blood was to give me and my sister a better future. Private schools are expensive, but my parents volunteered on the weekend to reduce the tuition price, to allow me and my sister to have a great education. As time progressed, their hard work paid off because my sister went to college in the fall on 2012 at Texas State University. Time is approaching; I am getting close to attending college. I know that my parents are hard workers, but the financial responsibility is too large for two parents to handle. They told me to reach for my dreams no matter the cost, but reality can't be avoided when I know the truth of the situation.

I plan on attending University of Texas at Austin in the fall of 2013. I want to pursue a career in nursing because it is my passion to assist people and I have a great fascination in medicine. I will major in nursing, in which my education will consist of many sciences like biology, chemistry, etc. I hope that my education will allow me to gain good communication skills and proper training to assist patients. My goal as a nurse is to impact people's lives, and inspire them to do positive things to help create a better community. My motivation will be the satisfaction of helping the patients to gain their strength.

Undergraduate / Bully @Ambush Corner; UT Austin/Issue of Importance [2]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Constructive criticism and grammar corrections please, and thank U

"Often the right path is the one that may be hardest for you to follow..." Karen Mueller Coombs, Bully at A person will encounter many predicaments that they must try to find a way out of. Confronting the problem is the only way that will resolve the conflict, but one does not have to face the problem alone. Some people have voices that they use to seek help when struggling, but there are also those wallflowers that want someone to help them, but cannot find their voices to use to seek attention. Bullying, an uprising issue among young children, teenagers, and adults; a problem in which people don't report, or seek help. Bullying is a very harmful act to a human, it degrades a person, as well as mentally and physically abuses a person. In the past, news all over the nations has covered teen suicide as a result of bullying. Famous cases such as Phoebe Prince, who was bullied by two groups of people over her brief relationships with their boyfriends, caused America to open their eyes to see that bullying is an uprising issue among people in the United States. Now America has taken more serious actions to respond to bullying in the present, than it did in the past.

We take a look at the past, bullying was not a big deal. It was sought as teasing and jovial, especially in little children. The kids at my preschool saw me as different because I was Asian. They always tried to mock my eyes by pulling their eyes back, whenever I tried to join a group at recess, I was often rejected. When I finally made friends, they treated me horribly by making me do things that I didn't want to do. They told me to give them my crackers, when I didn't do as they commanded; they threw dirt at me during recess. I was rejected again; leaving me to believe that blending in is the best solution because standing out causes trouble. I became ashamed of my Asian heritage, started to have low self-esteem, and always felt lonely. My past started to affect me in the future; I did not try to approach people and socialize, my self-confidence was non-existent. It took twelve years to overcome the past that haunted me, and to develop a newfound confidence that would allow me to believe in myself. I realized that I had not been living my life, instead I was hiding from fear. My friends, teammates, and teachers helped me find my identity. They counseled me when I was confused, and allowed me to be myself. I am no longer afraid of being Asian, instead I am proud because there are not much Asians in Longview, Texas.

People aren't as fortunate as me because sometimes they fight battles alone. They don't have someone to lift them up when they are struggling. I am happy knowing that they have affirmative taken actions to stop bullying. The news has alert parents about bullying, especially after the Phoebe Prince's case.

Undergraduate / One cannot tell by simply looking at a human's face; Expression of deciption [2]

This is my essay, topic A for UT Austin Please give constructive criticisms and grammar correction! Please and Thank you!

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

One cannot tell by simply looking at a human's face, whether he is expressing his true emotions or, shielding it with a mask. Emotions are like actions, one may not know if their intentions are sincere and genuine, or deceitful and sinister. Through my eighth grade education; I had a teacher who always screamed at me, and reprimanded me in front of the class when I failed my tests. In my perspective, this teacher disliked me and wanted to torture me. I was so naĂŻve to have missed the underlying message of her actions, the shouting was to make me work harder, and the embarrassment in front of the class showed that she knew what my abilities were. She was not Charles Manson, but a motivator and inspiration that made me work harder to achieve my goals, and pushed me to my fullest potential.

The first day of eighth grade was when I first met Ms. Krishnamurthy or Ms. "K". Ms. K was my algebra I and history teacher. My first impression of her was that she is a kind person, but my intuition told me that she is hiding another side. We got along well for the first few months, until one day she was in a bad mood which triggered the side that she has been shielding. I became the target for her to release her frustration upon. Whenever I made a seventy or below on a test, she reprimended me in front of the class. I can still feel the rush of embarrassment as everyone's eyes watch my face turn red. When I made an eighty on a test, she would say, "Tran, you can do better than this." I just shook my yes, but my mind responded saying, " I completed the test to the best of my knowledge." The turning point in our relationship occurred when I was entering into the class punctually, she yelled at me to get into my seat. I became frustrated at being her punching bag because I didn't understand why she has to direct her anger towards me. My reactions to this abuse were an attitude towards her whenever she got angry at me, and mocking the way she wrote her X's. Towards the end of my eighth grade year, she told me that I was a good student, but she never apologized for all those abuses that was thrust upon me. I realized that she was a great teacher because I passed the algebra exam, which would allow me to take geometry as a freshman.

The effect of the lesson of pushing to my fullest potiential happened immediately in my freshmen year, as I was trying out for the Longview High School volleyball team. I struggled to keep up with my teammates in volleyball. I kept on fighting as the running became harder, and the people were very skilled. I told myself that I have worked too hard to give up, I must keep on fighting. My hard work paid off as I found out that I made the team. I struggled in my first two years in volleyball because I had problems adjusting to my new teammates. But my coaches compliemented on my determination and work ethics. My work ethics led to two great seasons of volleyball, I was named most valuable player on the junior varsity, and was a starter on the varsity team. As the years progressed, my academics continued to remain in top shape, but what amazed me was making an A in Latin. This showed that through my hard work I was able to excel through my hard courses. I continue to challenge myself by taking AP Statistics, AP Biology, and AP U.S. Government. I want to push myself, so that I may be prepare for many challenges that I am going to encounter in the future.

My attitude has changed over the years. I was afraid of accepting challenges, and pushing hard because it required soul searching. Ms. K became my motivation to push myself because when I looked past her cruelty, I saw that she believed in my abilities, when I thought that I was hopeless. I realized that Ms. K knew what I was capable of, therefore she reprimanded me for the seventies I made, and push me to make an A whenever I made an eighty on a test. I used the push from Ms. K, and applied that throughout my high school life. Finding out that someone believed in me, gave me hope to push, and become successful. Without her, I would not have made it to all-regional finalist in art, and most valuable player in volleyball. These two areas required me to apply my full potential to succeed.

The summer of 2012, I went to visit her at my old middle school, to find out that she had left after I had left eighth grade. If I could see her one last time, I would tell her that she crushed me whenever she was in a bad mood. She left me confused, and angry at why I was a punching bag. But I would tell her that I have accomplished great things because of those abuses. I wouldn't have taken another look at my life, if she was not tough. I would thank Ms. K for being hard on me; it allowed me to see that I am capable of doing many things, if I push myself to do so.