EmiEvi
Dec 31, 2012
Undergraduate / Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book [8]
Bump... Anymore more last minute suggestions?
Bump... Anymore more last minute suggestions?
EmiEvi
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Steve Prefontaine; Stanford Supp/ Future Roommate -- [3]
Your voice is really strong in the essay! Good job!
(The fact that you mentioned Steve Prefontaine made it that much more enjoyable to read for me since I'm a runner too! :) )
Your voice is really strong in the essay! Good job!
(The fact that you mentioned Steve Prefontaine made it that much more enjoyable to read for me since I'm a runner too! :) )
EmiEvi
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book [8]
Thank you for revisions, I see what you mean about making it flow better!
I couldn't think of a way to make some of my sentences less lengthy, so your suggestions really helped! :)
Thank you for revisions, I see what you mean about making it flow better!
I couldn't think of a way to make some of my sentences less lengthy, so your suggestions really helped! :)
EmiEvi
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book [8]
Thanks :)
Oh, ok I see what you mean, although the part about the books was kind of my initial summary...
Thanks :)
Oh, ok I see what you mean, although the part about the books was kind of my initial summary...
EmiEvi
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Don Quixote; Columbia - Meaningful Book [8]
Prompt: Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications, or cultural events
Don Quixote is a character I can truly sympathize with; in fact, besides the whole knight agenda, we're kind of similar - I too have become obsessive over reading too many books, letting their ideas fill my imagination and sometimes even letting that imagination blur the distinctions between fiction and reality. The story itself is a parody of knighthood, intended to mock the seemingly extravagant life of battle through the ridicule of Quixote himself. However, as I was reading in my Spanish Literature class one day, Don Quixote's comical stubbornness quickly became something... admirable. How much tenacity and resolve can a character have despite always being doubted by others? I had to admit that it was a pretty impressive trait to have for anyone, and it got me thinking; many critics over the ages have labeled him insane and delusional, but was he really? In my eyes, Don Quixote, while not necessarily a role model, was a dreamer and a man who had a resolve to become the person he desired to be. In that one moment of insight, I realized that maybe I was a Don Quixote as well. I have aspirations that I intend to carry out, I won't have limitations, and I can be doubted but I won't quit once I've set my mind on something. In this way, Don Quixote became my symbol of a fighter, but not in a literal sense. This new perspective of Don Quixote taught me this: there's no reason to stop any goal you're aiming for, no matter the obstacles or naysayers who may cross your path.
Any suggestions are needed, but I would truly appreciate any grammatical corrections!
Prompt: Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications, or cultural events
Don Quixote is a character I can truly sympathize with; in fact, besides the whole knight agenda, we're kind of similar - I too have become obsessive over reading too many books, letting their ideas fill my imagination and sometimes even letting that imagination blur the distinctions between fiction and reality. The story itself is a parody of knighthood, intended to mock the seemingly extravagant life of battle through the ridicule of Quixote himself. However, as I was reading in my Spanish Literature class one day, Don Quixote's comical stubbornness quickly became something... admirable. How much tenacity and resolve can a character have despite always being doubted by others? I had to admit that it was a pretty impressive trait to have for anyone, and it got me thinking; many critics over the ages have labeled him insane and delusional, but was he really? In my eyes, Don Quixote, while not necessarily a role model, was a dreamer and a man who had a resolve to become the person he desired to be. In that one moment of insight, I realized that maybe I was a Don Quixote as well. I have aspirations that I intend to carry out, I won't have limitations, and I can be doubted but I won't quit once I've set my mind on something. In this way, Don Quixote became my symbol of a fighter, but not in a literal sense. This new perspective of Don Quixote taught me this: there's no reason to stop any goal you're aiming for, no matter the obstacles or naysayers who may cross your path.
Any suggestions are needed, but I would truly appreciate any grammatical corrections!
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Spaghetti cooking instigated the exploration of the new; Stanford App [10]
I like the unique take you took on the prompt! It's very creative!
However, I feel like some of your wording is somewhat awkward, such as "I wouldn't put up with this recurrent quandary anymore". Given the natural flow of the rest of your essay, this seems a bit out of place. Also, I would change " I was annoyed by my oblivion" into "obliviousness" or "carelessness".
Please read mine? :)
I like the unique take you took on the prompt! It's very creative!
However, I feel like some of your wording is somewhat awkward, such as "I wouldn't put up with this recurrent quandary anymore". Given the natural flow of the rest of your essay, this seems a bit out of place. Also, I would change " I was annoyed by my oblivion" into "obliviousness" or "carelessness".
Please read mine? :)
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / A melting pot of personalities; Stanford Letter to Roommate Supplement [8]
Thanks! Do you have any suggestions for anything I can shorten or maybe elaborate on to make it better?
Thanks! Do you have any suggestions for anything I can shorten or maybe elaborate on to make it better?
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / Don't be creeped out; STANFORD COMMON APP. ROOMIE ESSAY [9]
I genuinely enjoyed reading your response, you have a very strong voice in your work.
Like mzontario said, I would add more positive aspects about your personality at the beginning :)
I genuinely enjoyed reading your response, you have a very strong voice in your work.
Like mzontario said, I would add more positive aspects about your personality at the beginning :)
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / A melting pot of personalities; Stanford Letter to Roommate Supplement [8]
Thanks! I don't know if I should focus on one or two aspects of my interests or just keep all the ones I already have... Do you have any suggestions for revision?
Thanks! I don't know if I should focus on one or two aspects of my interests or just keep all the ones I already have... Do you have any suggestions for revision?
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I come from a small town in Oregon ; Stanford- Letter to Roommate [12]
I think the topic is better suited for what matters to you the most simply because it describes how you're focused on breaking out of the confines of where you are now and how you plan to break those confines by entering Stanford. If that's what truly matters to you then go for it! :)
I think the topic is better suited for what matters to you the most simply because it describes how you're focused on breaking out of the confines of where you are now and how you plan to break those confines by entering Stanford. If that's what truly matters to you then go for it! :)
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / I come from a small town in Oregon ; Stanford- Letter to Roommate [12]
I think that if you want keep the majority of it as is, it would fit the "what matters to you most" prompt better. I really like your style of writing, but like many others said, it seems a bit too formal to be a letter to a roommate.
I think that if you want keep the majority of it as is, it would fit the "what matters to you most" prompt better. I really like your style of writing, but like many others said, it seems a bit too formal to be a letter to a roommate.
EmiEvi
Dec 29, 2012
Undergraduate / A melting pot of personalities; Stanford Letter to Roommate Supplement [8]
Prompt: Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you that will help us get to know you better.
Hi future roommate!
My name is Evelyn, otherwise known as Evy, but sometimes spelled as Evi or Eve. The Evelyn that you'll meet is a melting pot of personalities: a little bit of weirdness mixed with a touch of optimism, a dash of humor, and a whole lot of inquisitiveness. My interests are many; they result from my constant urge to explore surrounding ideas. I absolutely adore learning about obscure topics and sharing my discoveries with people, so if I end up starting a conversation with "Guess what I just found out!" you'll know where I'm getting at. One of the topics that I've recently been excited about is futurology and technological advancements, which is probably a result of all the sci-fi/dystopian novels I enjoy reading from time to time.
Another thing you should know - I'm a long distance runner. Running is one of my passions, a passion that started after a little coercion from some of my friends in middle school. If you're a runner too, I think it'd be great if we could run together, which I find to be one of the best ways to truly get to know people - that is, if we aren't gasping for air after a long sprint. If running isn't your idea of a good time, I also think a cup of coffee would suffice in getting to know you better too. Besides running, I also love to draw, a hobby that developed out of an intense love of anime and manga. In fact, anime and manga is what initially got me interested in exploring other cultures, which is why I'm planning on studying International Relations here at Stanford and also why I'm learning Japanese and Korean through self-study. To travel around the world is one of my dreams so that the explorer in me can satisfy those pesky urges to discover something new.
The one thing you should definitely know about me is that I'm easy to get along with - I won't mind any of your unique quirks. I'm open to anything, and I'm excited to learn more about you as well. I hope our time together will help us both open our eyes to new experiences and even blossom a great friendship. See you in the fall!
This is first rough draft and probably riddled with grammatical errors, so I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions!
Also, I'm about 63 characters over the limit; is there anything too wordy or somewhat unimportant that I can cut out?
Prompt: Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you that will help us get to know you better.
Hi future roommate!
My name is Evelyn, otherwise known as Evy, but sometimes spelled as Evi or Eve. The Evelyn that you'll meet is a melting pot of personalities: a little bit of weirdness mixed with a touch of optimism, a dash of humor, and a whole lot of inquisitiveness. My interests are many; they result from my constant urge to explore surrounding ideas. I absolutely adore learning about obscure topics and sharing my discoveries with people, so if I end up starting a conversation with "Guess what I just found out!" you'll know where I'm getting at. One of the topics that I've recently been excited about is futurology and technological advancements, which is probably a result of all the sci-fi/dystopian novels I enjoy reading from time to time.
Another thing you should know - I'm a long distance runner. Running is one of my passions, a passion that started after a little coercion from some of my friends in middle school. If you're a runner too, I think it'd be great if we could run together, which I find to be one of the best ways to truly get to know people - that is, if we aren't gasping for air after a long sprint. If running isn't your idea of a good time, I also think a cup of coffee would suffice in getting to know you better too. Besides running, I also love to draw, a hobby that developed out of an intense love of anime and manga. In fact, anime and manga is what initially got me interested in exploring other cultures, which is why I'm planning on studying International Relations here at Stanford and also why I'm learning Japanese and Korean through self-study. To travel around the world is one of my dreams so that the explorer in me can satisfy those pesky urges to discover something new.
The one thing you should definitely know about me is that I'm easy to get along with - I won't mind any of your unique quirks. I'm open to anything, and I'm excited to learn more about you as well. I hope our time together will help us both open our eyes to new experiences and even blossom a great friendship. See you in the fall!
This is first rough draft and probably riddled with grammatical errors, so I would appreciate any feedback or suggestions!
Also, I'm about 63 characters over the limit; is there anything too wordy or somewhat unimportant that I can cut out?
