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Posts by bng16210
Joined: Dec 29, 2012
Last Post: Dec 31, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 12  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 14
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bng16210   
Dec 31, 2012
Essays / Division of America after the Election of Obama [6]

Thank you Dumi!
Appreciate your response.
Will regroup the wording and adjust for my cited works.
Did you get a sense of anger or ranting as you read from the writer?
That definately is not what I was going for.
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Essays / Division of America after the Election of Obama [6]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I gave facts based on the protests which I did not attend. I gave fact on the Lybian War which I did not vote upon. I gave facts on how so many voted and seemed to think that the other side would be victorious based on how they voted and their thought of the popular vote. I understand that I may have spoken in the second but should have been according to third person... In no way does should it come across as "anti-liberal slurs" as you put it. I have had essay reviewed on other sites as well. But thank you for your honesty, I do appreciate it.
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Essays / The president would be elected by the electoral college [4]

Would yuo change anything as I have written? Thanks in Advance! :)

1. What parts of the presidential election process are explicitly established by the Constitution? What parts are not mentioned in the Constitution?

--Answer below:

In order to establish a president the founding fathers wrote Article II, section 1, clauses 2 and 3 in the constitution. In Article II,. Section 1 of our constitution, it states specifically the president would be elected by the electoral college. Electoral college takes place when the electors from each state which equals the number of representatives of that state. In short, for each electoral vote in this example Arizona, which would allocate 11 electoral votes. This means that come election day, the state of Arizona no matter how many people vote for one candidate (popular vote), the electoral votes of 11 take the win for that candidate. In all, the candidate's must get a total of 270 electoral votes out of the 538 electoral votes available. The 270 votes is key to win election

There was no vote by the people established the founding fathers. Most states allow voting by the people however, did you know the states can take that back at anytime they choose. This took place with the 2000 election with George W. Bush and Al gore(Monk, 2003). During this election the hand counting of votes in Florida was determined unnecessary according to the courts. The courts stated that the states had every right to take back the appointed powers of electoral votes at any time in which they did and declared George Bush the winner.

Cited Works:
Monk, L (2003) Interactive Constitution based on The Words We Live By: Your Annotated Guide to the Constitution by Linda R. Monk
For cited electoral votes for state of Arizona
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / The Alchemist ; NYU /What intrigues you? [13]

I do agree it needs to be more defined on how it affected the writer, but also believe, with the explanation of the book as it is with the explanation of choosing fillmmaking will be a well written essay. The conclusion should include the writer's belief in the quote and her choice. This will give it balance and won't seem lengthy on the explanation of the book overall. Hope that helps :)
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / The Alchemist ; NYU /What intrigues you? [13]

I love it! You truly understand the following of your dream-filmmaking with your analogy. GO into depth on why you chose filmmaking and how it plays a role in the quote you chose. Other than that impressive! :)
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / NYU economics program; NYU sup/ Academic Interests [10]

HI!,

I loved your essay. You gave so much detail about Beijing. I would expand on that to explain in detail what brings you to choose NYU and its' programof interest in the same manner. Overall, I loved your essay. great job!
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / "If you dont go after...."- Nora Robert's quote; Favorite Quote and Why ? [2]

Everyone deserves to be listened to no matter what skin color or race they are .

Hi!

Love your quote and can see the motivation behind every word. I would avoid stating "Everyone deserves to be listened to no matter what skin color or race they are." It sort of brings a negative tone to your overall thought. Simply state without bias

Everyone deserves to be listened to no . Hope that helps!
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / Strong engineering program ; Carnegie Mellon Strong engineering program [3]

The Meeting of the Minds research symposium

Hi I can see you have the passion for engineering in the beginning of your response. You gave examples of how you have chosen your major but then you state in the"far future you goal is to be a physician. As a reader your passion dwindled when you shared that. To me you're unsure of your major. You may want to edit this entry.

"The Meeting of the Minds Research Emposium " should be in quotes. If you truly want to be in Carnegie then state what brought you to their institution only and why you chose them. As for the Arts and having no interest in pursuing, may want to edit that as well. You want them to see the passion you stated in the beginning with their engineering program and state facts of why you chose them. Just my opinion and may help overall with acceptance. I hope that helps!
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / I have been living the dream; it's time to share it ! -Stanford [4]

Many of the people in my community are successful. My personal definition of success is being where you want to be in life while also helping others get there with you. An example of success has been presented to me and I want to obtain that success. I have been living the dream; it's time to share it."


HI!
What was that example of success that was presented? Go into detail for the reader, they want to know! :)
I agree w/ enigma33, you want yours to stand out. With all the applicants that Stanford receives, you must have originality and what comes across in you essay, as nice as it is currently, could use a little revision to include the passion that you want to portray. You can see you help othersm give more examples. You stated you were "example of success was presented to you", share that experience in more detail. You want your passion to bleed into the pages you write. Hope that helps!
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Undergraduate / GRANDFATHER - my first teacher - person who influenced me [9]

The kind of person I am today is mostly because of my first teacher, my grandfather

Hi! Love your essay! I would only add a few items giving background of your grandfather. How old is he? Where did he grow up, this will give the reader an idea of his ideaology and methodology due to his raisings and where he grew up. The more detail you give about your grandfather, the more we will understand why you chose him as important in your life. Overall good essay. The more detail will also help your issue with amount of characters, see the more information you give, you worry less of the obvious (characters needed), why?-because it's more thorough :) I hope that helps. Can't wait to read newest version! Enjoy your Nww Year!
bng16210   
Dec 30, 2012
Writing Feedback / Report on the Dark Side of Chocolate [4]

The documentary starts with the investigation of journeying to the western coast of Africa in the country of Mali, the country were children wererumoured to be smuggled from and then transported to the Ivory Coast.

I believe when saying "rumoured ", should be typed as "rumored ". Also when reading this essay, though great detail I felt no connection or feeling from you. What are your thoughts of the documentary you watched. You should add your feelings and thoughts. This will enhance and kind of get a sense of the documentary from your eyes. Overall was good essay. You want details and thoughts from you. It seems like it's written in a chroniclogical order and not telling a story. May want to work on that.

Chocolate producers around the world have been pressured to "verify their chocolate is not the product of child labour or slavery."
There's no need to put into quotes. Simply write Chocolate producers around the world have been pressured to verify their chocolate is not a product of child labor or slavery as said by (whatever your source is)... I hope that helps! Can't wait to see it revised!
bng16210   
Dec 29, 2012
Essays / Division of America after the Election of Obama [6]

Hi!

I would like feedback regarding my essay. Does it have enough depth, detail, is it too dull, are you intrigued to keep reading, etc. Thanks in advance for your help! :)

Why are Americans divided in spirit within our Nation and wanting succession
of state from the United States? -Draft

It is said that over 20 states have requested secession from the United States after the re- election of Barack Hussein Obama. The numbers startling as they appear are rising as we are confronted with the "fiscal cliff" scenario. The fiscal cliff is the so-called terminology used in the media regarding the House and Senate as well as our President of the United States not being able to come together at the table and set aside differences regarding how taxes, spending, etc. should be cut before the end of this year 2012. Secession pertains to eliminating or separating the statehood from the union of the United States.

Secession had only been tried once before in the United States and resulted in the Civil War that started in 1861 and ended in 1865. The war started due to southern states not wanting to abolish slavery. At the end of 1865 the war had ended and slavery was abolished and secession was denied by our federal government. The war was not in vain though, it had in actuality freed slaves and put a new agenda in the form of restructuring the states to form unity that was lost and

Fuller p.2

again found by our federal government. It was proven to be somewhat of a success with the abolishment of slavery even though so many lost their lives

Why are so many requesting this? I will give you examples of the frustration taking place across our country and it is up to you to decide if what these states are doing will change minds, create a change in our thinking and how we may change regarding our rights as individuals and as a country or are they simply voicing their opinions and wanting a listening ear.

What states are involved with this request and what caused them to request this from the United States? States such as Florida, Texas, Ohio and Virginia to name a few that were known as key states in which Obama had won the re-election have requested their secession. These states were documented on the White House website under "We The People" page. On this page, you may request a petition to be started with a certain amount of signatures the White House has set and they will address once that signature limit has been met.

What events have developed to cause this division of the American citizens of the United States? The blog "No Checks, No Balances: House Refuses to Authorize Obama's Libya War, but Funds It" is located by the website by The Nation and written by John Nichols. He has in his blog portrayed the article to grab the attention of everyone who are aware of how the checks and balances of Congress who have power to oversee the actions of our president of the United States and for those who aren't. John Nichols has been known for over a decade writing informative blogs, books, and columns for several well- known named newspapers such as New York Times, Chicago Tribune and is one of the co-founders of the Free Press which was formed to establish a reformed media and technologies and create a better democracy, written in several magazines and is known in Congress amongst those on the floor debating. The Nation website which features John Nichols blog has been publishing the magazine for over a hundred years. It was founded in July of 1865 and has slowly seen a decline in the magazine sales that now it's also online as well and has survived existence with the help of donors to the magazine. The founding prospectus of 1865, "The Nation will not be the organ of any party, sect, or body. It will, on the contrary, make an earnest effort to bring to the discussion of political and social questions a really critical spirit, and to wage war upon the vices of violence, exaggeration and misrepresentation by which so much of the political writing of the day is marred."- The Nation. He instilled in the audience the need for urgency to his audience. They both have work to do to improve the checks and balances that we have established by our founding fathers of our Constitution. In the blog the House was brought to the table to vote on two proposal requests from the president Barack Obama to declare war on Libya and the second proposal was to request the funding be cut for that war declaration. The House is made up of 435 House of Representatives and 100 Senators. To break the voting required for the proposals to pass you would need 2/3 votes of each house. (Monk, L 2003) In our constitution Article I give power to approve certain action that our President of the United states which to enact. One the first proposal which gives approval to declare war in Libya was struck down with votes 295-123 against the authorization for war but on the second proposal which authorizes funding to be cut was again struck down which means they denied the actual was to be declared but continued for the funding for war that wasn't declared to continue. Through the sarcasm of John, shows his frustration with the voting when he says "If the pairing of policies makes no apparent sense, well, welcome to John Boehner's Congress." John goes on to show the audience why he so upset with the hidden agenda of Boehner's plan. Boehner with certain selective group of constituents had hidden that they were to gain if struck down. How you ask? By allowing the striking down of the actual war they lose nothing but they gained continued funding to the undefined war to keep his lobbyists and protected military contracts from losing ground and funding which better most republicans within the House. In essences, he proved that neither side was doing justice for the people. They both have work to do to improve the checks and balances that we have established by our founding fathers of our Constitution.

The Obama administration announced in 2012 that organizations providing health insurance will have to provide contraception coverage for their employees. Some religious groups opposed to contraception have objected to this requirement by citing their First Amendment right to religious liberty. As I read in an article from Foxnews.com, Liberty University is appealing the Obama announcement of mandating all employers issue the contraception of all workers and will be looking to overturn the decision which was previously upheld that Obama's "ObamaCare" may not be appealed under it being a tax, however, it left it open stating, it can still be heard under other circumstances such as unconstitutional for religious reasons, so Liberty University resubmitted their appeal to the law. Protests arising from such adjudication of the laws as they are interpreted are becoming the norm of society. Another story written by author John Jansen and was a writer for the Pro-Life Action League. This was posted on LifeNews.Com. He has shown the anger of those against the healthcare mandate that not only inhibits and prohibits religious beliefs with contraceptives, women rights and culture diversity. He has commentated on various articles and protests regarding the Obama's administration pertaining to the new healthcare that was not passed by legislation but was an executive order by the President himself.

We have a First Amendment rights which states we the people have the right to freedom of religion. This Amendment is separated into two clauses. 1. The Establishment Clause which states the government cannot favor one religion over another which he (Obama) did consider, however, he did not consider Clause #2-Free Exercise Clause which states that our constitution prohibits any government interference of religious beliefs. Therefore the arguments of such religious groups have grounds to be heard before the courts for proper interpretation of the law that is our constitution. Should religious groups be exempt from this measure because of their beliefs? Or should this be viewed entirely as unconstitutional for all people? Our rights are being changed on a constant basis. They are interpreted differently than the founding fathers had intended. Is there judicial activism or judicial constructivism? Judicial activism is rulings suspected of being based on personal or political considerations rather than on existing law. Judicial constructivism is when the judge to apply the text only as it is spoken.

What are people in some or most states doing to show their disapproval of how things turned out and being ran in Congress and with the Presidency and what they are hoping Congress and the President will do? A. 47 states have requested separation from the United States as of November 12, 2012. This has not been the first time such requests have been dealt with. They had previously been asked after the elections of 2004 and 2008 States included in this request are Texas, New York, New Jersey, North Carolina and South Carolina, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, Indiana, Michigan, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kentucky, Arkansas, Colorado, North Dakota, Oregon, Mississippi, Missouri and Montana. These include the so called "swing states" that Obama won in the re-election of 2012. Pennsylvania included. You do not have the right to separate from the Union. The eleventh amendment of our Constitution proclaims that in fact we the people have no right to sue the federal government without its consent. The state cannot sue the government and the people of any state cannot sue the state. These are written in our Constitution. Therefore the government will not give consent to be sued or hence give permission to separate from the Union. In all, it seems to be due to the lack of education in the processes of our great nation as a whole. We would simply complain and whine to the media instead of learning the rights and responsibilities of our own actions. If we don't vote we can't change the facts. We can't "backseat drive" and expect things to change. We need to educate ourselves and those needing the education and only then can we make a difference in this great land we live in.
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