Undergraduate / 'I am sorry ma'am' - Doctor COMMON APP ESSAY [3]

Please be harsh! This is my common essay, I chose the topic of your own choice option. Please critique my grammar! It is due in a couple of hours! Thanks!

"I am sorry ma'am; the doctor cannot see your daughter at the moment. Please return when you have the sufficient funds to pay the medical fees, and then we will admit your daughter to the hospital."

These were the heartless words of a nurse to a young woman, whose daughter was suffering from severe bacterial pneumonia. The woman, whose name I later discovered to be Miriam, begged the nurse to have the doctor take a quick look at her daughter, but the nurse simply motioned her towards the exit. Miriam placed a quick kiss on her daughter's forehead and began walking towards the building's exit as streams of tears flowed from her eyes. She forced the corners of her lips to curl into a smile, which I understood as her attempt to display a strong façade for her daughter.

In the summer of 2011, my family and I traveled to Pakistan to visit my relatives back home. This was my first trip to Pakistan since I first came to the United States in March of 2005. A few weeks after arriving in Pakistan, I accompanied my father on a visit to a local hospital. During our stay at the hospital, I witnessed as Miriam's daughter was denied medical care simply because she couldn't afford to pay the admittance fee. As Miriam was making her way to the hospital's parking lot, I approached her and asked her if she needed help. She turned towards me with an unwavering stare and mumbled, "Something needs to change...," before hurrying towards the sidewalk. When I returned home that day, Miriam's words continued to repeat in my mind. Even 'till this very day, I can close my eyes and recall the scene and her desperate pleas in vivid detail.

To me her words were a reminder of what the value of human life had reduced to in a country where I used to live, and where I could have been still living. Does the importance of a person's life solely depend on their financial status? I can't help but imagine myself in Miriam's position. I, who is blessed to be living in a country where human life is considered of the highest regard, and where medical personnel are unconcerned about whether the patient can afford the treatment; what if I was in her situation? What if it were my daughter? What would I do?

That day at the hospital, I had seen in Miriam's eyes the essence of pure desperation. She had sparked something in me, a feeling stronger than anything I have ever felt before- passion, the passion to make a difference in our world. I was never the person that is easily inspired or mesmerized, but Miriam completely transformed me. Her story really hit home for me; it changed my entire perspective on what life is really about, what its purpose is. Life is about putting others before you, about caring for others, and about making others happy, because only then can you experience true happiness.

Undergraduate / 'Pakistani culture and daugters' - WHY NYU [3]

Any opinions are appreciated! Please be HARSH and let me know what you think!

Prompt: NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.

In the Pakistani culture, daughters are considered a burden on their parents because they cannot provide the same degree of financial and social security to the family that sons can. I want to prove to all Pakistani parents that as a woman I can do just about anything that a man can do, if not more. My dream is to become the first female doctor in my family; one that can offer services at little to no cost to those living in third world countries. Being born in a third world country, I have personally witnessed the devastation that poverty can cause to a family and to a nation. I want to ensure that no families are ever turned down for medical treatment due to financial reasons. NYU will cultivate my academic credentials while learning amongst a community of world citizens. The university's impeccable standards and the numerous opportunities offered in NYC will help transform my "far-fetched" dream into a strong reality. The major in Biology program will allow me to explore the various areas of Biology and will introduce me to the modern concepts and methods of experimentation. NYU's global network offers me the opportunity to study abroad, providing me the necessary exposure to share my aspirations about developing social enterprises in poverty-stricken countries with a global audience. New York University is a perfect match, but it is missing the addition of one quirky, passionate, loud, and a die-heart fan of the Backstreet Boys girl that just wishes for a chance.

Undergraduate / MOTHERHOOD AND MOTHER'S LOVE; NYU! WHAT INTRIGUES YOU? [5]

Please let me know what to change or fix! Any opinions are welcomed! Thank you!

Mothers trade a relaxing night's sleep for dark under eye circles, a stylish salon haircut for a quick messy bun, a luxurious bubble bath for a 5-minute shower, a romantic date night for early school morning, a Louis Vuitton speedy handbag for a Jansport backpack, and their entire life for just a smile.

But why?

Motherhood - our world's most captivating love story and most enduring journey. There is nothing more special, more stronger, and more magical than the bond between a mother and her child. A mother's love is powerful, unconditional, and most comforting. There really is nothing in the world quite like it; it can't ever be replaced or replicated. It is a force that breaks all rules and defies all theories. A mother loves her child before it is even born, and will continue to love her child even after she dies. A mother's love knows no boundaries. It has no beginning or end.As my mom always told me, "Being a mother is the highest-paid job in the world because the paycheck is made out to your heart in the amount of infinite love."

My mother's love and undying support have been a major driving force in my life. No matter what the circumstances, good or bad, when ever I needed her, she was there in a heartbeat. If it wasn't for my mother, I wouldn't even be applying to college. She showed me the importance of getting a good education, of being content with what you have, and of making something out of your life. I guess what I'm really trying to say is - Thank You, Mom.