Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 2. TALENTED PEOPLE [3]

Task: It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music , and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be tought to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

In our nowadays society, it is an important factor to be developed person. On this occasion, many people who do not have outstanding skills and also those who have them, try to give their children to special clubs in order to make of them sports person, musician or artist. However, some people consider that only people gifted by nature have special skills and talents.

First of all, in my opinion, every person has his own talent, and it may be any of existing spheres. Presumably, some people do not recognize their talents, which are remaining unnoticed by their hosts during a long time or even the whole life. All the people live under the same sky, which demostrates that all people have equal rights to have talents, which are not only singing, drawing or sport activities, but also an ability to solve mathematics, intuition, visual memory or acting skills.

Secondly, according to the fact that only some people on Earth have certain talents, this argument seems unfair. I strongly believe that some kinds of skills can be taught to children during practising. Especially in sport, high peaks will be achieved only by a long time of practising, attempting to improve yourself, because talent will not achieve everything by itself. Probably, some talents are really given by nature, and can not be replaced with practise. By those I mean unforgettable brilliant voice, golden hands, which are drawing breathtaking pictures or physical opportunities.

In conclusion, I want to emphasize that everything is predicted by nature, what talent exact person should have. The only thing to do is to find this unusual criteria in yourself and give it a chance to develop in your body.

Thanks in advance and please give me suggestions of how to write essay in more academic way, because i have real peoblems with that.
Please reply as soom as possible, I'm taking an IELTS very soon!!!
:)

Writing Feedback / IELTS WRITING TASK 1(DESCRIBING A PROCESS): SUGAR PRODUCING [5]

Sugar is produced from sugar beets, which is a long process. First, trucks unload beets. Then, beets are shaken to remove any dirt and rocks. Next, sugar beets are washed by washer in order to ensure that they are clean. After this, beets are cut up to small pieces to make cossettes. Putting small pieces into water and heating them 70 is the next stage of sugar producing, after what water becomes a sugar juice. To clean a sugar juice, milk of lime is added. At the next stage obtained sugar juice and milk of lime are filtered to acquire a pure clean sugar juice and remove extra components. Following this, sugar juice is heated several times to evaporate any water in it. Finally, obained sugar juice needs to be crystalized. To crystalize it, liquid sugar juice is spinned and becomes a sugar.

Waiting for your comments and suggestions. Criticizm is always allowed.
:)thanks in advance.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2: The use of CCTV (close circuit television) [7]

An IELTS essay. The use of CCTV ( close circuit television) cameras in streets, stations, shops and other public places has increased rapidly in recent years.

Although we are told that yhese cameras help in the fight against crime, some people are opposed to their use. They believe that everyone has a right to privacy.

What are your views?

Safety of people, especially in publis places, is an importNt point in any country. Increasing level of crime obliged governments to create though measures in which people can be peaceful and tranquil for their lives. One of this measures is called "close circuit television".

CCTV cameras have become one of the most spread kinds of measures against crimes. Nowadays, there seem not to be any place, where CCTV cameras are not used. Tehre are also different opinions related to this sort of safety. Fitstly, considering positive sides of circuit television. For insstance, woman had gone to the shopping mall, where she suddenly realised that her bag was stolen. She immeadiately calls to police and explains bad occasion happened to her. Without CCTV cameras, it would have taken a long time to find a thief. It is not the only situation that may occur with people. However, the are some people, who are oppsed to use of CCTV cameras. Presumably, it worth mentioning that every person had a right to private life, without "spying" cameras on every corner of the street and close to every supermarket. However in the case if people imagine themselves in that woman's shoes, they will not be in negative thoughts of CCTV cameras.

Finally, I want to emphasize that only when people in our society will change their minds and cease robbering and hurting each other, no CCTV cameras and no tough measures will be needed.