Writing Feedback / IELTS - Technology and traditions are incompatible [4]

Hi guys, can anyone plz help me to correct this essay? Suggestions are highly appreciated.

It is inevitable that as technology develops traditional culture must be lost. Technology and traditions are incompatible- you cannot have both together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The relationship between modern technology and traditional culture has always been a great concern of many. A gloomy view states that they are not compatible to each other. However, base on my personal experience, technology and traditional culture do not have to repel each other, as a matter of fact, they can co-exist harmoniously.

The existence of massive traditional customs and holidays explains that people see traditions are of great treasures to them with the rapid development of technology. Traditions are the quintessence of a culture which is not easy to be shacked by technology. For instance, The Chinese celebrate spring festival to in honor of the legendary victory against the great monster 'Nian', and that tradition has lasted several thousand years. Same as the Easter is a great memorial for Jesus Christ enjoyed by all Christians since ages ago. Furthermore, plenty of customs are kept instead of wiping out by development of technology. Take traditional foods for example, they are widely enjoyed by all cultures in special occasions even there are myriad more tasty food available for people. Besides, traditional activities such as marathon and tug-of-war still gain significant popularity among people all over the world even though their original purposes had long faded away.

On the other hand, the fact that the lost of some life styles due to the influence of technology is mistaken for incompatibility between the two things. For example, nowadays people rarely write to each other but sending emails, constantly check mobile phones instead of lively chatting with friends in social occasions and a range of old occupations vanished as a result of technological development. Nevertheless, these facts are believed not yet on the cultural level, it just the natural transformation of life styles. We will be expecting increasing changes as technology develops and we can not understand that as lost of traditional culture because common life styles are not classified as 'traditions'.

Therefore I would like to conclude that traditional culture is compatible to technology, yet people's life styles are changing from time to time due to the contribution of technology.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Should students be encourge to evaluate or even criticize their teachers? [4]

Guys~please have a look into my essay~ corrections are very appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people think that we should encourage students to evaluate or even criticize their teachers, while others claim that this practice will disrupt the order in classroom and lead to disrespect for teachers. What is your opinion?

Some people prefer students to be obedient individuals in classrooms other than critical ones. From my perspective, the benefits of allowing students to evaluate teachers outweigh the drawbacks.

As far as I am concerned, communication and discussion are the most effective means of teaching knowledge and sparking brainstorms. By encouraging students to make comments or even criticize their teachers, a discussing atmosphere will be created enabling teachers and students to express thoughts with regards to each other and discussing issues in the classroom as well as related solutions. As a result of that, both sides can learn valuable suggestions about themselves and will eventually boost the study outcomes. In addition, students' evaluations on teachers are precious references in terms of maintaining and optimizing teaching quality of faculties. If a teacher is given predominately negative reviews by students, then it is not a bad idea to launch a performance review against him/her as students are the most important stakeholders in a education system.

On the other hand, some groups concern about the order in classrooms will be affected if teachers are under criticism. In this regard, we need to clarify the difference between criticizing and trouble making. If a student makes comments due to unsatisfactory explanation of a formula, it is called criticism. On the contrary, if criticism has nothing to do with teaching itself but clothes teachers wear or the way they walk, then student should be banned to do that as it is considered as disrespectful. I believe a qualified educational professional ought to know how to accept reasonable criticism and cope with students' improper behaviors, therefore accepting students' criticisms will not do any harm to faculties.

In a nutshell, I hold that criticisms by students on teachers are beneficial to the maintenance of teaching quality while the drawbacks are not worthy mentioning.

Writing Feedback / IELTS - Youth unemployment issue and what measures can be taken to reduce its level [5]

Hi guys, comments are appreciated, also if you were a IELTS examiner how much would you give me for this essay?

A large number of young people are leaving school and can not find a job. What problems will youth unemployment cause for individuals and for society? What measures should be taken to reduce the level of unemployment among young people?

Youth unemployment rate has been regards as one of the most tough problems in most countries. It not only haunts young people who are struggling finding a job, but has a vast and profound impact on societies and states as a whole.

First of all, being unemployed, especially for a long while, could be bring serious frustration to the young people themselves. They may begin to question their abilities and gradually refuse to make further contact with society as a result of being out of work for a long time. If a graduate could not sign any contract a few months after he left school, it is absolutely not beneficial for him to build up self-esteem and take part in social activities as a positive individual. In addition, young people being unemployed also cause a range of problems to a society. For instance, the idle youth may wonder around and causing troubles in communities then end up in jails. Not to mention a considerable amount of money has to be spent in supporting the unemployed.

As for the solutions, governments should take the major responsibility. Creating more jobs through government projects would result in substantial outcome in the short term such as what the US government did during the great recession in the 1930s. In the long run, more stable and healthy economic plans need to be set up by rulers in accordance with the condition of a country, in order to maintain a steady economic grow to save and create more jobs.

All in all, youth unemployment is a great problem deserves serious attention by all governments and individuals, it will not be devastating if governments are able to handle it wisely.