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Now day's crime is increasing. Why is this happening? What can government do?


ankush 1 / 2  
Feb 21, 2013   #1
AS WE HAVE BEEN LIVING IN ADVANCED AND DEVELOPED AGE WHICH GIVES MANY COMFORTS AND GOOD LIVING STYLE TO MORTALS AS COMPARE TO BYGONE ERA BUT STILL THERE ARE SOME SINS IN OUR SOCIETY,ONE OF THEM IS CRIME WHICH IS UP SURGING DAY BY DAY. I ASSERT WITH THE GIVEN STATEMENT DUE TO UMPTEEN REASONS.

FIRST AND FOREMOST REASON OF INCREASING IN CRIME IS AN UNEMPLOYMENT WHICH ENFORCED ARE YOUNGSTERS TO FALL IN THIS MUD OF DARKNESS BECAUSE DUE TO COMPUTERIZATION MAN WORK IS SHRINKING LIKE ANYTHING WHERE COMPUTER IS CAPABLE ENOUGH TO DO 10 TIMES WORK THAN MAN DO .AS MONEY WOULD NOT BE THERE SO AS USUALLY YOUNGSTERS CAUSED CRIME FOR FULFILLING THEIR BASIC NEEDS .MOREOVER DUE TO UNEDUCATION THOSE WHO DIDN'T GET JOB AND TURN INTO THE WORLD OF AN OFFENSE .AS IT'S CARRIED OUT BY ONE OF THE SURVEY IN 2008 THAT 70% CRIMINALS DO CRIME FOR THEIR PERSONAL NEEDS WHERE REST FOR A FUN PURPOSE OR TO THREATEN OTHERS,APART FROM THESE FACTORS ONE'S SOCIETY,MORAL VALUES GIVEN BY PARENTS ARE THE MAJOR CONTRIBUTOR TO MAKE A GOOD CITIZEN IF SOMEONE DON'T GET THAT EVEN IT WOULD BE THE COMMENCE OF CRIMINAL.

THE CRIME CAN BE DECREASED BY FOLLOWING SOME CERTAIN SET OF RULES WHERE PUBLIC PARTICIPATION MUST BE THERE TO SUPPORT LAWS BECAUSE ABUSE OF LAWS ARE INEVITABLE IN TODAY'S WORLD. GOVERNMENT CAN OPEN NEW OPPORTUNITIES BY MAKING A FOUNDATION OF NEW INDUSTRIAL CONCEPTS AND STARTING SMALL SCALE INDUSTRIES AS WELL.GUARDIANS MUST ENSURE THAT THEY ARE PROVIDING A PROPER EDUCATION TO THEIR CHILDREN ,NOT ONLY EDUCATION THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE TO ENHANCE THEIR MORAL AND SPIRITUAL INTELLIGENCE WHERE GOVERNMENT ROLE TO AVAIL EFFECTIVE AND ECONOMICAL SOURCES FOR ASPIRANT ACADEMIC TRAINING.

IN CRUX, I BELIEVE THAT GOVERNMENT SHOULD IMPOSE SUCH KIND OF LAWS THOSE MUST BE STRICT AND UNDER THE CONTROL OF GOVERNMENT AND THEIR EMPLOYEES SO THAT IT COULD WORK PROPERLY AS IT HAS BEEN WORKING IN POWER NATIONS OF THIS UNIVERSE.

william731 18 / 43 13  
Feb 21, 2013   #2
it is hard to read with all the capital letter.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 21, 2013   #3
I agree... make sure your post attracts others' attention.... This is very crowded and difficult for us to follow :(

UMPTEEN REASONS

Well.... when I had to refer to the meaning of "umpteen" :D .... it's not a common usage... I wish if you kept your sentences to sound more simple, yet interesting

FIRST AND FOREMOST REASON OF INCREASING IN CRIME ISAN UNEMPLOYMENT WHICH ENFORCED ARE YOUNGSTERS TO FALL IN THIS MUD OF DARKNESS BECAUSE DUE TO COMPUTERIZATION MAN WORK IS SHRINKING LIKE ANYTHING WHERE COMPUTER IS CAPABLE ENOUGH TO DO 10 TIMES WORK THAN MAN DO .

This is pretty too long.... OMG .... You better re post this one properly typed.... It's really distracting :(
You need to pay attention to grammar too.... Also, it's good to display your vocabulary knowledge, but never use word if you are not confident with them. If you use inappropriate words, they would ruin your sentence.
joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Feb 22, 2013   #4
Hai Ankush...

Sorry to say, i an competely agreeing with William..
It is much harder to read....(:

Tessy
AlexChow 3 / 7  
Feb 22, 2013   #5
IN THIS MUD OF DARKNESS BECAUSE DUE TO COMPUTERIZATION, MAN WORK IS SHRINKING LIKE

COMPUTER IS CAPABLE ENOUGH TO DOOF DOING 10 TIMES WORK THAN MAN DO
peterc 14 / 52  
Feb 23, 2013   #6
Dear ankush,

I agree with dumi's comment...it's pretty hard to read. I have to decapitalise the passage in Word.

I have only had a glance at the passage and my impression is that there are too many words in a sentences....words are difficult to understand....even the examples about the survey is not convincing as for me, I would not remember such kind of survey in several years ago.
OP ankush 1 / 2  
Jun 9, 2013   #7
ya i do agree with u guys there is a problem in coherence and sentence structure but ielts examiner oftenly congnizant about the difficult vocabulary so it would be the best side of mine in essay..moreover,umpteen means many.. and for sure i will work on my punctuation knowledge..
jkjeremy - / 380 72  
Jun 9, 2013   #8
ielts examiner oftenly congnizant about the difficult vocabulary so it would be the best side of mine in essay

No test of any kind ever rewards incorrect or unclear vocabulary.

The object is to use the correct word.

The correct word is almost never the most "difficult" one.


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