Writing Feedback / IELTS- My opinion on having children engaged in paid work [4]

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as a completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this ?

There are many youngsters engaged in some type of paid work in this day and age. Some sections of society say that it is absolutely wrong while some people believe it is good to have children employed in paid work. In my perceptive, I certainly agree that it engaging in paid work has benefits the students in various ways.

First and foremost, without a doubt, work experiences are crucial for our future career in this competitive society. Working can enhance children's life experiences as well as it can build up their responsibilities. Take a waiter as an example. Work as a waiter should be polite to customers and they will face problems that never occur in school such as customer's complaint . In view of this, they are more likely and easily to tackle the problems compare to the children who have never work before.As the saying goes, 'experience is the best teacher'. From the working experience,they will learn from mistakes and try to apply the skills that they learnt in the real life.

Besides, some students work after school to earn some pocket money to ease their parents burden. However, it is too tiring for the children to work after school. In light of this, they cannot focus on their studies in a long run and they might fall asleep in a class because of exhausted. Due to the fact that they have insufficient time to revise or study for their examination and do their assignments as well. If they do not manage their time wisely, it might affect their results and performance in school. It showed working has a signnificant impact on children's future.

In a nutshell,there is no completely benefits or drawbacks for youngster who work part-time jobs or full-time jobs during school holiday and so forth. However, students must strike the balance between study and work and mange their time properly because 'time is gold'. In my opinion, last but not least, as a student should always bear in mind that education always comes first for our own bright future.

Hi ! I did the correction :) thanks for the advices ! I will learn from my mistakes :D thankssss !

Writing Feedback / Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to exchange of information [9]

Hi, everyone. I have wrote this essay but i have no idea how is it. I wouls like you to point out my mistakes and give me advices.

Thank you ! :)

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies.
What are your views ?

It is undeniable that widespread use of modern technology and uncontrolled surf online to exchange information or materials as we move into the 21st century. Some people say that modern technology is totally benefit to human's life whereas others argue that it is a bane to all and sundry. In my perceptive, I have various reasons to support my stand which is modern technology has no completely benefits drawbacks to human's life ?

First and foremost, we know that modern technology includes mobile phones, devices, tablets and so forth as they become smaller size, larger capacity and more convenient for human compare to the past. In view of these characteristics, majority of the people bring their devices to everywhere at anytime. People can surf the Internet where they want to keep themselves up-to-date on the spot. Take e-newspaper as an example. Nowadays, most of the newspaper's company has upgraded and updated themselves and started the e-news for everyone to get the latest news that what happen around our surrounding. Besides, we can just click on the search engine to receive the newest and latest data or materials when we are doing research or projects intead of finding books in the library. In light of this, it helps us save a plenty of time and energy.

On the other hand, modern technology has drawbacks too. As a well say,' every coin has both sides' . Gen-Y or even 4-years-old kids have their own devices in this day and age. Playing games has no absolutely wrong because it can helps us relax our brain and immerse ourselves in a virtual world on the moment .However, some of the people do not know how to manage their time properly and spend most of the time on the screen . Modern technology is a case in point. Recently, there is a lot of youngsters are addicted to the online games such as Candy Crush. For instance, there is a girl in my country who always plays games and causes depression and she is discovered she has eye-sight problems. In view of this, we should blame modern technology has a greater advance or herself ? Think twice.

To put in a nutshell, there is pros and cons for everything , modern technolody has no exception too. In my opinion, people must strike the balance by using modern technology as there is no definately harm our lives. Last, but not least, we should always remember that we must able to control modern technology but not vise versa.