Writing Feedback / IELTS; Students from rural areas find difficult to receive higher education [5]

Students from rural areas often find it difficult to access university education. Some people think that universities should make higher education easier for them to access. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the concern for the students who are living in remote areas has aroused the attention of the public because universities seem to be quite difficult for them to entre. Consequently, many people contend that actions should be taken to allow these students to access higher education easier. From my own perspective, however, I cannot totally agree with them.

Admittedly, students from remote areas are confronted with a range of difficulties to study in the universities. The long distance from their home to the campus and financial problems in the family, etc., are all likely to become the stumbling stock on the way to an outstanding university or even force them to drop out of school. Undoubtedly, it is unfair for these youngsters to be unable to receive the education that they should have received. Therefore, it is the university that should be the first to shoulder the responsibility to provide equal rights to let all youngsters study in the scenic campus.

However, measures seem unpractical when we try to make our thoughts come true. In the first place, due to the limited budget, universities are very unlikely to provide all students whose homes are far away from campus with decent accommodation. It is also unrealistic to move or rebuild the campus to rural areas because of inconvenience and the lack of resources. In the second place, given that the universities lower the entrance index for students from countryside, it is apparent to be unfair for those students in urban areas who are exposed to much more fierce competition.

To sum up, although it is necessary for universities to take measures to help more rural students to receive tertiary education, they are most likely to face some dilemma when deciding to do so. Therefore, it is highly suggested that any action should be judged and weighed in order to ensure every student, no matter from rural areas or urban areas, to be able to enjoy the equal rights and opportunities.

This essay is written to prepare for my IELTS exam. Please help me to correct it and give some recommendations. Thanks a lot!

Writing Feedback / IELTS; Changing jobs and living places - Good or Bad? [5]

The world is changing rapidly. An increasing number of people change their jobs and the places they live frequently. Is this a negative or a positive development?

As the rapid changing of the modern world, more and more people make their decisions to alter jobs and even their residence currently. This phenomenon, however, has shown more demerits than its merits, as far as I am concerned.

It is undeniable that the popularity of changing jobs and living places has contributed to the whole society greatly in various aspects. For one thing, companies are likely to benefit from the different ideas, advanced techniques and innovative management methods brought by the new employees. For another, moving to another place to live can also encourage the local residents to be more tolerant and promote the cultural communication in social or global dimension.

However, there are apparently wide ranges of negative impacts in terms of frequent changing, which cannot be ignored. In the first place, a great number of corporations loathe losing, hiring and training employees frequently. One of the manifest reasons is that the ripple effect of job-hopping can be quite costly and time-consuming. What is more, losing an employee in relatively high and crucial position may even cause vicious competitions amongst companies in the industry. In the second place, many people moving in and out of an area too often is likely to give rise to a lack of sense of community. Consequently, the local residents may lose the feeling of safety living in this area, which can be regarded as one of the causations of social instability.

To sum up, changing jobs and residences frequently is more likely a negative development in current society than a positive one. Therefore, people should be aware that changing is not an excuse of escaping the reality. It is reasonable only when it can bring a better job or life.

This essay is written to prepare for the IELTS exam next week. Please give me some recommendations. Thanks a lot!!

Writing Feedback / IELTS ; My opinion on using fertilizer and machinery for producing food [4]

Food can be produced cheaper if we use improved fertilizers and better machinery. However, some of methods may be dangerous for human health and have negative effects for local communities. What is your opinion?

As the rapid development of science and technology, people around the world are more likely to get less expensive food thanks to the advanced fertilizers and machinery. In the meantime, however, the use of high-tech gives rise to a range of detrimental impacts on both the people and the society. As far as I am concerned, the negative effects of food production tend to outweigh its beneficial ones.

On the one hand, it is admitted that human beings are enjoying the boons brought by modern food production because it is the improved farming method that contributes to lower costs and higher production. Due to the growing population across the globe, a large number of scientists are focusing on the scientific research and studies concerning the means to enhance the production of farmland, and the achievements indeed satisfy the needed people in famine partially.

On the other hand, however, some undesirable influences cannot be ignored. To begin with, fertilizers utilized the farming process trigger the major concern in respect with human health. It has been proved by numerable studies that the chemical substances are unlikely to be washed away; therefore, it is inevitable for us to eat them along with enjoying the vegetables and fruit. Furthermore, mechanized treatment process may result in excessive dispose of grains and cereals and reduce the nutritious elements, which is the reason why people nowadays are more keen on wholegrain foods. The third adverse impact is the disastrous ruin on the environment. Overuse of fertilizers and pesticide is quite likely to lessen the activity of soil and diversity of creatures in the area. Consequently, the land may not be suitable for farming in the short future and become the hell for animals and plants to grow on.

In conclusion, the cons of using fertilizers and machinery in modern farming seem to overweight the pros. Therefore, it is highly recommended that the volume of fertilizers should be used under strict control and all advanced machines are used in a more sensible way, so that we do not have to worry about the safety of food taken in and the community will become more harmonious and peace.

This essay is written by myself to prepare for the IELTS exam. PLZ give me some comments and suggestions! Thanks!