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Posts by GREASPI
Joined: Jun 26, 2013
Last Post: Aug 19, 2013
Threads: 4
Posts: 8  
From: India

Displayed posts: 12
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GREASPI   
Aug 19, 2013
Undergraduate / I won the competition ; CORNELL SUPP; Engineering Idea [3]

Your essay's beginning is impressive, as it deals with an event from your life.

and linked to-specific resources within the College of Engineering. Finally, explain what a Cornell Engineering education will enable you to accomplish.

Could you please mention how you are going to pursue further with your idea using the facilities in Cornell? It should boost your chance.
GREASPI   
Aug 16, 2013
Graduate / Ten minutes to go for the endurance race; Masters(Automotive Tech) TU-Eindhoven [4]

Letter of Motivation

Thanks to everyone who have given me valuable inputs. This is my latest version of Motivational Letter.

Ten minutes to endurance race, Critical parameters like suspension stiffness, tyre pressure, camber, castor and toe were checked. Our vehicle was ready. It had been a journey of eight months for us, a bunch of engineering students, with a goal of building an all terrain vehicle. My role was to develop the suspension system. A Swing arm in rear has had been in our vehicle in the last two seasons, but this time we came up with an innovative multi-link suspension system. This was done in order to reduce the unsprung mass and also to reduce the wheel base of our vehicle. Now, we are at Natrax, venue of SAE Baja India. Everything, we have learnt is going to be tested for the next three hours. Chequered flag! Go! Here comes our vehicle, surging ahead, overtaking two other vehicles to the third position. This was one the defining moments in my life. After all, I believe, it is always a joy for an engineer to see his creation work in harmony.

"Automobiles" has been my interest since my childhood. It is evident from the walls of our house, decorated with drawings of cars. Not only I was fascinated by the aesthetics of vehicles, I was also curious about how they move on their own. This childhood curiosity made me pursue a Bachelor's degree in Automobile Engineering. It was a decisive phase in my life, as I was introduced to the concepts of Internal Combustion Engines, Vehicle Dynamics, etc. along with other mechanical engineering fundamentals. I also had numerous opportunities of working hands-on in the form of labs, in-plant trainings, service trainings, industrial projects, field visits etc. It was during these experiences I was trained on High Pressure Diesel and Gasoline Injection Systems, Driver Assistance Systems, On-board Diagnostics, Medium and Heavy Vehicle Servicing, etc.

Further, through our Society of Automotive Engineers club, I attended workshops like Race Car Engineering and also presented a paper on "Improving the Aerodynamic Efficiency of the Sedan using Cross-wind Sensor". These were instrumental in preparing me as an automotive engineering professional. With a lot of kind support from my alma mater, and with my passion for automobiles, I earned a place in XXX as a Graduate Executive Trainee.

My stay at XXX taught me the expanse of Indian commercial vehicle industry and the company's place in it. It also made me feel that assembling a vehicle is an art and it involves planning of various resources like man, material, and machine that gives me pride, whenever a new vehicle is introduced in the assembly line. Being in the field for the past seven years, I am well aware of what it takes to build a vehicle from concept to customer. It also gives me an urge to look for more in the domain of automobile engineering and that's why I am applying for Masters in Automotive Engineering.

Excellence in research and development in automotive engineering is not widespread across the globe. It is rather confined to select places, where institutions of higher education collaborate with the industry, which is why I aspire for a Master's degree in TU Eindhoven. With strong tie ups with eminent companies like, DAF trucks, Robert Bosch, TU Eindhoven is surely my dreamland.

I am interested to work in Vehicle Dynamics, Tyre Dynamics and Control group. With projects like University Racing Eindhoven, The A Team and Lupo, TU Eindhoven is surely the destination for any automotive engineer like me. After all, I always feel the best of me is yet to come.

Finally, I can quote Arthur Healy's words: "The miracle of the modern automobile was not that it sometimes failed, but that it mostly didn't; not that it was costly, but that-for the marvels of design and engineering it embodied-it cost so little; not that cluttered highways and polluted air, but that it gave free men and women what, through history, they had mostly carved-a personal mobility..." and I look for my prospective Master's in your esteemed institution to equip me better in making miracles.

Pls. be as critical as possible.
GREASPI   
Aug 15, 2013
Writing Feedback / Happiness is considered very important in life. 'Defining depends on the ages' [6]

Nice work,
I feel, following changes could be made:
1,

For instance, children feel happiness when they get an ice-cream or chocolate; teenagers feel happiness when they have a game device on hand; adults feel happiness when they have a good relationship and wealthy life; elderly people feel happiness when they are having meal with their children.

--> Happiness can be felt or anyone can feel happy. So take care while using different parts of speech.
2,

However, there can be an exception such as some children feel that chocolate and ice-cream are disgusting.

---> "However, there can be exceptions such as, some children feel that chocolate and ice creams are disgusting". In this way, you can give an example of exception not for the children, but for all the age groups.

3,

On the whole, the best way to achieve happiness is satisfied all the things are gifted to us.

---> revise it.

All the Best for your IELTS.
GREASPI   
Jul 10, 2013
Undergraduate / The canadian embassy wants me to me to submit my future about canada. Any ideas? [17]

Cheers Khanafer,
Pls. drop 'the' before Gambia. Also, write something about your course in detail such as, a specialization in Consumer Durable Goods Design(my guess?). Relate it to your home land-Gambia and in what way you are going to contribute there. From all these details, they are trying to know your ties with your country and not become a potential immigrant in Canada.

All the best for your visa.
GREASPI   
Jul 9, 2013
Writing Feedback / Any means can be taken to attain a worthy goal;GRE Issue [4]

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it are justifiable.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.


"Arise! Awake! Never stop till the goal is achieved" said great Swamy Vivekananda. It is the same sage, who stood for all the principles he had taught. Though, he insisted youth to be restless in attaining our ambition. He did stress on the human values like respect, compassion and universal brotherhood. It is this mindset, which made him to address a gathering in Chicago as "Brothers and Sisters." No wonder, being a responsible follower of this noble person, I am not fully supporting this idea of reaching the goal set at all costs. My stand in this issue is as follows:

It is quite natural for any one to have goal-focused mentality. At the same time, it is his duty to analyse all the available ways in order to achieve his/her goal. While doing so, the person should take care of all the available customs and norms in the current setup. For example, consider an athlete, who works hard for an international event. Right form his child hood days, winning a gold medal in this event has been his dream and he is also blessed with the necessary physical features, required for the particular track event, he is going to participate. On the race day, in spite of all the favors, our athlete is disqualified, as he erred in a basic rule of the game by going out of the running track. Thus it is important to know the ground rules in order to survive.

Also with everyone being goal focused, not minding the customs, any system is bound to be disturbed. Chaos will ensue. Think of a a week day.morning road traffic. What will happen, if an office going professional, in the spree of going to his work place, violating the rules? No doubt, he is not only risking his life, but also putting others in stress. In other words, neglecting rules and customs by individuals will lead to a random disarray and this is the last thing needed for any society.

Moreover, reaching the target at the cost of others will pose questions on the values of that person. Even a person like, Lance Armstrong is not an exception to this. Therefore, it is needless to say that, no matter whether it is a profession or a sport it is important for any individual not to deviate from the moral code of conduct.

As we all know, man is a social animal. It is not a single person, who constitutes a society,but a group of people with all their loves and hates form a progressive community. So, it is beyond our imagination that the above group will survive with all its members, minding only their personal needs. If that nightmare happens, insecurity, greed and loneliness will prevail. No one will want that to happen.

No doubt, world does not need another Hitler, who cared for nothing, but his ambition. At the same time, we are also welcoming the current generation of radical innovators like, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg etc., who never mind in changing the whole dimension of the field, in their journey towards the excellence in the field. These people are looked upon by numerous others that, it is their duty not to give up their place on the moral grounds.

Finally, it should be noted that, both reaching the goal and and how it is reached are equally important.
GREASPI   
Jul 8, 2013
Dissertations / How to write an abstract in a research paper or dissertation? [8]

Hi,
Are you assigned with only the task of writing the abstract or is it a part of writing your whole research paper?
In both the cases, try your best in knowing the content of the paper and go ahead with the abstract, summarizing the whole, hinting on the main essence, highlighting the key elements of the research done or proposed to be done.

All the best.
GREASPI   
Jul 7, 2013
Writing Feedback / Case of a Loan for a Jazz Music Club in Monroe City; GRE Argument essay [3]

GRE Argument Essay:
The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
.

I am doubtful about the profitability of Jazz music club in Monroe city. Following are my view points:

The very first thing, the developers state is that there is no music club within the 65 km radius of Monroe city. This only cannot assure the profitability of the proposed music club, as we have to look into various aspects like the cost associated the city of Monroe, the entry fee that the club owners are going to structure etc. Moreover, profit also depends on the revenue generated, which solely depends on the attendance. As it is a universal truth that the quality of music and value of service, added by the Monroe club will be the factors deciding the people's turn out. Thus one cannot conclude that merely being the only jazz music club in the city is not a reason for the success of this intended project.

Second thing, which the proposers are citing is the hit of annual jazz music festival in last summer. Considering the fact the festival is once in an year, it is understandable that not only the people of Monroe but also people from the surrounding places might have attended the event. Also, as it happened before twelve months, it is not necessary that the people will prefer jazz music over others. Hence, we are not sure about the current state of mind of the residents of the city.

Third point, which the promoters are bring to fore is the availability of well known jazz musicians in the city. This is surely a positive sign of resources, but this does not have to do with the mindset of public. They may or may not like jazz music. Further, what if there are more numbers of jazz musicians in the nearby city? and what if they are more prominent than the Monroe city musicians? Monroe city residents will never mind in travelling 65 miles for a better music.

The next thing, which seems to be helping the case of jazz music club in Monroe is the highest rated jazz music program in radio, relayed in weeknights. This fact itself is rather a misleading, as we do not know how the ratings were given and who rated this. Also, if the jazz music program is the highest rated program, what about the other programs? what if they are very dull and not at all followed by listeners. Hence the very term 'highest rated' is not at all coming to rescue the project. Now for the argument's sake, let us assume that the rating is indeed true. With a widely followed jazz program on every night, there is no reason for anyone to go to a music club very often. Hence the mentioning of jazz music program in radio is not appearing to be convincing.

Finally, developers are reporting a nation-wide study that, the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. As it is very obvious that this national trend may or may not hold true for the city of Monroe. Also, with the availability of music in the various forms of DVDs and CDs, online portals, live concerts, radio programs, etc., one cannot be sure that that considerable part of these thousand dollars is spent on music clubs.

Thus, with many loop holes in the logic, I am not totally convinced of the fact the proposed jazz music club in Monroe will be successful, if not tremendously successful.
GREASPI   
Jun 30, 2013
Undergraduate / MY FOUR-YEAR ADVENTURE; Significant Experience [4]

Well done Samantha, you have done a good job in narrating your childhood experience.

For my side, I can spot certain grammatical errors, without which your essay will surely a notch ahead.

Following are based on my observation:
1, I would continue to live at my uncle house to go school and they would visit me once a week.--> "I would continue to live with my uncle and they would visit me once in a week."

2, "...for kids at my age then..." --> use 'at' when you denote a place. use 'in' instead
3, "... all his heart, I could felt it" --->use first form of verb i.e. feel after 'could'. "I could feel it."

4, As you are narrating things from the past, you have used past tense. This is perfect, but it seems you have the habit of using present tense at times. This can be avoided. I had the same problem, when I started and I am trying to avoid it. "No one had the time to notice that and at that time, I really enjoyenjoyed walking so I don'tdid not really care at all,

5, One more advice from my side: Always try to avoid apostrophe as in, use 'did not' instead of 'didn't'. This can be ensured while writing in a formal setup.

These are the things, which I have noticed.
Experts may guide you better.
Keep Improving.
All the Best.
GREASPI   
Jun 30, 2013
Writing Feedback / Universities should require every student-take a variety of courses outside-course [4]

GRE ISSUE TOPIC: "Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student's field of study."

"What if a company is governed by an individual who has no knowledge of how much his company is liable to pay tax, and what if future is full of highly competent, yet reserved individuals, who are hesitant even to sell their ideas." Such a condition will a nightmare for anyone like me and hence I feel universities should make it mandatory for students to take courses, which are outside their field of interest, necessary for day-to-day life. Reasons are as follows:

By the end of twentieth century, Computers have taken over the world. Gone are the days, when one has to wait for all his/her needs like booking tickets for trains or applying for documents like driving license, passport, etc. Now with the advent of information technology, every activity is done quickly and efficiently. Every state and private organisation's functioning is totally dependent on software systems to the extent that we are concerned with cyber crimes and hacking. Even in this era of social networking, the computer literacy level is lesser than required in my country. This should be addressed by mandating every student to undergo a structured training on usage of computers for their basic needs.

Secondly, as one graduates and gets into the world as a professional, he is trained on the core aspects of his studies. This trained individual has to mingle with the society to be its member. Moreover, he will in a position to interact with the various stake holders of the community he is in. This will happen seamlessly if the particular individual is capable of communicating things as they should be. If not, problem arises for the person, then for the group and ultimately for the nation. Thus an awareness on communication should be a prerequisite for every college student.

Apart from these, there are many instances when an individual or a nation is found to have difficulty in managing the funds. This is a universal problem that we have been through a series of recessions. This can be dealt with by giving individuals, especially students a solid base of finance. After all, students are going to be future policy makers for any nation.

Though there are various reasons for the implementation of certain courses in college curriculum irrespective of the discipline, the content selection and course administration should be in such a way that these extra courses should not demotivate the student to pursue his studies.

Therefore, I conclude that in order to be a complete person, a university student should be trained on necessary skills.

--Pease provide your valuable feedback regarding relevance, grammar, structure, usage of words, punctuation etc. Be as critical as possible. Your guidance means so much to me.

Thank You.--

GREASPI   
Jun 27, 2013
Graduate / We successfully implemented the major project "Aid for blind people using image processing" [12]

Cheers,

One simple way to start an SOP is to narrate a situation in your life related to the field, which kept you attracted. As you progress through your essay, make the reader feel your personal view of the field, finally touching upon the same instance you mentioned in the opening. In this way, your essay will have a proper structure (cycle of events) and it will be about "You".

Your experience in that expo can be that opening, but bring out what transpired in your mind during that moment.

This is what I learnt from my experience.

All the best.
GREASPI   
Jun 26, 2013
Scholarship / Need help understanding the questions for a scholarship; AUSAID SCHOLARSHIP [6]

It is a question asked to a referee about an applicant, interested in the scholarship.
It asks for the various aspects of the degree program such as course subjects, opportunity of doing research in a particular field, any internship, etc. These may complete the candidate's profile in the process of completing his/her degree.

This should be in a second person's view, based on the referee's understanding of the applicant.
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