Writing Feedback / IELTS: Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more [3]

Topic: Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Debate concerns the personality and development influenced by inherited characteristics of human or experiences have seen one of the burning issues nowadays. Influences of the characteristics we are born with, as well as impact of experiences in our characteristics will be discussed in this essay.

Proponents of the characteristics we are born with view claim that everyone get specific characteristics from their ancestors. In this advanced era genetic engineering or biotechnology proved that we carry some particular genes from our parents that explore the integrity, decency, and dignity of our character which is completely different from others. The most blatant example of this is clone of the sheep 'Doly'. Based on this, researcher indicates that it is also possible make human clone by using DNA from the parents. Identical twin is another steer example, while they have similar characteristics and attitudes.

In contrast, supporters of the experiences advocate that, people learn from their experiences as they grow up. For instance, if there is a position available at internet giant Google they will employ someone who have experiences rather than his or her father or mother was a high profile personnel as some people claimed that children get their characteristics from parent. In addition, two centuries ago people who migrated from Great Britain to Australia most of the cases were criminals. However, if it true that our personality and development is influenced by our inherited characteristics, everyone in Australia should be criminals but opposite is true. In addition, human have ability to learn from mistakes and adopt themselves in the situation by using sixth senses. Evaluation theory of Charles Darwin could be a quirky example here.

In fine, after considering both factors I believe that experiences have more influence to develop our personality and characteristics. I believe that the characteristics we are born with have some impact in personality but it does not have more influence than the experiences that we gain in our lifetime.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Some people think that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. [NEW]

Please grade my essay by your valuable suggestions.

Topic: Some people think that sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operative rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The issue of whether competition or cooperation should be inspired among in children attributes to one of the thorny hills prevalent nowadays. Despite the variety and intricacy of the factors I would pore over some of the striking ones and give my opinion afterwards.

The proponents of the competition believe that a sense of competition in children ramp up the tendency to become more successful in their life. They believe that competitive environment or educational system pushes the urge to become more skillful and intellect in practical life. As for example, except some exception most of the brilliant pupils become very successful in their real life. On the other hand, joyfulness after success in a completion make people more hungry to become number one and speed up to reach at the apex of the prosperity. Moreover, completion is everywhere from international to national, government sector to private sector, and personal life to social life. Therefore, cultivating the sense of competition in childhood will bring the great success in life. Ironically, too much competitive manner in children can spurring the sense of rivalry at early state which can make them aggressive in later stage of life.

Co-operating, on the contrary, makes people to become more realistic in real life. Many hands in a team can solve a problem easier than an individual. For this reason, introduction of co-operative environment and education in early stage of life will escalate the children to socialize in adulthood. However, too much tearing up in group could be cumbersome. For instance, human have a tendency to act how they trained. At this standpoint, co-operating environment can diminish the individualism, in particular children can lose their creative thinking.

To sum up, as it is discussed, both competition and cooperation have pros and cons. I certainly believe that, with proper guidance, sense of competition would encourage the children to make their dream true. These children will be the precious factor of the society through their contribution to the society.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. [3]

Topic: It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

Please give your valuable suggestions regarding my essay.

Decreased acquaintanceship within families pointing us to the drawbacks of modern society that negatively impacts on our personal life. In this essay I would pore over some causes why this change has happened and offer some suggestion how families could be brought closer together afterwards.

By far the most remarkable reason to change relationship within the families is the increased busyness in modern life. In the past people had more time to spend with their relatives and neighbors. It has been seen that most of the time husband was the only earning member of the family. Therefore, wife maintained the social relationship with neighbors while looking after children. However, to cope with modern lifestyle nowadays both husband and wife are working and after work they become tire thus close-knit relationship with other families are decreasing day by day. Moreover, advancement of technology is playing another pivotal role to close the relationship within the families. Even after fulltime work most of the people have some extra time to spare. Ironically, this extra time replaced by watching television, video games, internet surfing chatting on facebook and so on which were not seen in back in days.

To overcome the decreased relationship within families arranging some get together after certain time could be helpful. In this regard, realization the significant of relationship is the number one factor. Parents need to understand that spending time in a get together party with cousins, friends, neighbors, and relatives will help their children to be socialized. In addition, government can initiate some programs such as seminars, mass media advertising, and workshops while they can explain the necessity of the family bonding. Beyond blue in Australia is one of the remarkable organization where they explaining the broken dignity of loose relationship on depression.

To recap, it is an everlasting shame that in this advanced society families are not closed enough compared with the past. However, a pragmatic approach in light of arrange a get together party and some government initiatives could give a workable solution to decrease this trend

Writing Feedback / IELTS: Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. [3]

Please give me your valuable suggestions regarding my essay.

Topic: Some governments say how many children a family can have in their country. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. It is sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this ways. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

It is clearly understandable that a vicious cycle and inhuman condition is strongly bonded with overgrowth population. Therefore, controlling the growth of population and limiting the number of children has recently become one of the hot topics that emerged on the surface during the past couple of decades. Some countries poses extra taxes to hold the grip of overgrowing population while other countries take others alternative measures. I strongly believe that controlling population through taxes is not a right way where other alternatives are available. In this essay I will explain my views why I do not agree with the concept of introducing extra taxes to control the population.

To begin with, it is a very personal matter where a couple will conceive a baby or not. Many people believe that this is not a matter for the state where personal freedom should be exercised. On the other hand, over stricting the rules and regulations can bring the disputes within citizen. That is why, I believe that, the best approach to control the number of children would be persuation rather than compulsion. Moreover, countries whose have problems with overgrowth population for instance, India and China introduced some strict rules and regulations. However, growing population is still the number one obstacle for these countries. On the contrary, western country like Australia does not have such kind of regulation, however, overgrowth population never seems a problem there. At this stand point, I believe that increasing awareness by a remarkable ways of campaigning can help civilians to understand the drawbacks of overpopulation. As for example, government could conduct some programs via NGO, television, radio, internet and so on which would unmask the negative effects of overpopulation such as shortage of food, unemployment, economic instability and so forth.

In addition, the supporters of the imposing of taxes perceive that, introducing extra taxes to control the population will help to rethink conceive a baby. They believe that, people will think twice before planning to have a child because this means they will pay extra taxes for that as well as lose other social opportunities as they will spend extra money on taxes.

To conclude, it is needless to say that a country can be faced myriad problems with its overgrowth population. There is no question to control the growth of the population, however the question has araised if it is the best way to control the population through taxes. In fact, I am not agree to control the number of children through taxes. I believe that other alternatives in particular education, awareness campaigns and so on will bring the best result as most of the western countries are benitfited from that.

Writing Feedback / IELTS: It is essential to have the death penalty to reduce violent crime. [4]

Topic: It is essential to have the death penalty to reduce violent crime. To what extent do you agree?

Indubitably, over the last few decades dead penalty was one of the most common judicial punishments to minimise the brutal crime used by almost all societies. However, now-a-days a strong question is arised whether capital punishment should continued or banned. People who support death penalty argue that capital punishment deters offensive activities. For instance, terrorists and serial killers are criminally insane thus occur mass terrorism. Behavioural science indicates that humans have a tendency to follow others in the society that means criminal activities of outlaws can easily motivate others to commit crime in the society. In this stand point, fear of judicial execution prevent people to conduct such activities. secondly, by ensuring the judicial execution to violent crime the state or country ensures justice to the victims family. In reality it is very hard to accept by the relatives of victims that they lost their loved one forever, but the person(s) responsible for their lost is living by taxpayers money in the prison. Ironically this shows that our justice system shows more sympathy for criminals than it does victims. Therefore, only death penalty can give closure to the victims family. Besides criminals are most likely to reoffend crime. Others means of punishment in particular, imprisonment can give them another chance to reoffent crime. For example, escape or release on parole will give them an opportunity to again kill someone in the society. In this case, only death penalty can prevent that happen.

On the other hand, opponents of the death penalty say that, it is a cruel and barbaric way to kill someone by the government as government also murders someone who commited a murder. Moreover, tendency of "an eye for an eye" drives the whole world blind fueled by the revenge. furthermore, sixty percent of violent crimes are domestic crimes while the offenders commited crime only once in their lifetime. In this case a second chance or another type of punishment such as rehabilitation, jail and so on would help them to correct their characteristics as well as will save a life. Last of all why would we kill another human when we are unable to give a new life. It is obvious that death penalty doesn't bring the victim back to life. Imprisonment in a confined room of a prison could be an effective and worse punishment while prisoner will go to through a tremendous mental pain for previous crimes.

To sum up, after weigh up the pros and cons of death penalty I strong agree that, death penalty is not essential to prevent violent in our society. I believe that executing criminal create a violent culture and encourages revenge as well as innocent people can be exxecuted in corrupted judgement system. I think it is the right time to take right decission against death penalty for a better world.

Please rate my essay out of 9. I will greatly appreciate your comments and suggestion regarding ideas, structure, grammar, and vocabulary of my essay.
Regards