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Posts by fuqiangang
Joined: Aug 9, 2013
Last Post: Aug 13, 2013
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  
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From: China

Displayed posts: 10
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fuqiangang   
Aug 13, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] Parents can help their children's life by asking them to take a job or not [7]

A topic of discussion at hand is whether parents can help their teenage children prepare adult life by encouraging them to get a part-time job or not. The answer to this question can vary greatly depending on the individual perspectives.

Maybe you can revise "We live in a world where controversial issues are often simply taken it for granted even if parents can help their teenage children prepare adult life by encouraging them to get a part-time job.As to which election is prominent,the answers vary.Form my perspective,...."perhaps is prone to achieve better goals.

Second, no matter what kind of part-time job you take, it definitely helps in your future when you need to deal with people.

I deem that you should replenish this sentence"....to help students strengthen their resumes,build essential contacts with other people,and familiarizer them with the contemporary state of their respective fields.

Although, I am agree with the idea that the parents should encourage their children to take a part-time.

Maybe you are supposed to cancel the word"although" and tackle with this error to alter this sentence"I would argue instead that the parents should encourage their children to take a part-time job with passions and perseverance."Perhaps being able to improve your essay.
fuqiangang   
Aug 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:It is important for students to participate in school's leisure activities? [7]

Thanks for your making corrections in my essay

"... this is not a reason... you need to state the reason. "(dumi) He deem that it is not sufficient reanson to argue my key point,but I don't konw how to give a detailed examle to support me point.Please help for me.Do I commend you for your reply!

I will appreciate your reply!
fuqiangang   
Aug 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / Teachers' performance evaluation; 'People seldom agree with eachother' [4]

I have quick questions about this essay so that please tackle some problems with me.I hope we can communicate with each orher.I appreciate your receive!

People usually believe that teachers are the most crucial job in all of society due to its unique traits.Effectivities of a teacher rests on many qualities that one possess.A good teacher raises our offspring to be forward-thinking,bring out individuals so that ensure our children to get along with each other,and learn how to copy with some conundrums.As such,the job of teaching is no longer an unconsidered task,at least much better to evaluate by students.However,it's not completely to say that teachers'performance should be evaluated by students rather than other teachers.

Admittedly,it's undeniable that teachers' administration should be estimated by other fellows.As normal individuals,a teacher more or less have some bad habits.Even though a teacher almost instinctively devote himself to cultivating their student,the outcome might turn out to be a disappointment,for all students tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy everything including bad ones from their schoolmasters.All too often we observe a teacher who tend to purse his cherished but failed dreams by forcing his students to develop in a prearranged direction.When a teacher confront this case,students can ask other teachers for help.With other teachers'assistance,our schoolmaster might alter his mind to ameliorate students' academic pursuits so that foster their imagination.It is essential to say that teachers' performance should be appraised by other teachers.

People seldom agree with each other even in such trivial issues as evaluation between students and other teachers.Granted that other teachers' have some merits,I prefer to evaluating by students.If a teacher knows that at the end of term,the students will be judging of his work,then the teacher will be driven to do a very good job.If there is no pressure from assessment,a teacher might be prone to doing a less than prefect job.I deem that everyone needs an occasional valuation to ensure they are doing their job correctly.In this case of a teacher,the students will give the most important assessment.Now that there is a public summary of which teacher scored the highest on the valuations,then students would be able to take courses based on which teachers was the best at the job.This could allow students to excel in their pursuits,and obtain better grades.

Moreover,teachers' performance according to their students' estimation provide incentives to impetus their teaching standard.Apparently,how well teachers pay more efforts to accelerate students' academic projects in order to get much better valuations will then encourage teachers to show more passions in their teaching.Besides,such method of appraisements,which will also stimulate them to make more efforts.If teachers are not performance according to their students' assessments.It is quite likely that they will pay less efforts to teach their students.

Judging from all the evidence offered,we may safely arrive at the conclusion that a teacher should be rated by their students.
fuqiangang   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL _ Should high school students be made wear uniform or not? [5]

I think your examples need to be more specific so that amplify your contents to prove your points.

Of course,maybe you should add another paragraph to argue that unique uniform has brought out students' bebefits in several ways.First of all,uniform act as social equalizers.Students who cannot be fashionable due to limited family finances are made to feel more comfortable among their peers.Moreover,high school students are sometimes called young adults,by which people are anticipating their maturity,at least to some extent.In addition,school uniforms assist that students would learn to appreciate the elimination of so many choices when getting dressed for a school day.

"To decide about our personal clothing is the primary factor in the process of becoming mature and independent"....(moonname) if alter this sentence "It is crucial that stundents are expected to pursuit the fashion that is conducive to mature and independent."maybe better.

I am willing to exchange opinions with you!
fuqiangang   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / Toefl:Should parents accompany their children to play games? [4]

Obviously,in most cases parents argue that children spend all of one's time on academic studies.However,it's a little bit haste to say that academic studies are better than games,or vice verse.I believe that children should engage in playing games in leisure times it is a vital part of education which teaches children to give them a method of releasing tension and aggression,and how to work as a team.

Admittedly,it's undeniable that academic studies could help children become elite of society.To be a successful student and be prosperous in a career,children must have that drive that makes time go on in the innocentest times.If a child spends all of his time studying with parents,he will advance quickly in school.He will master knowledge early in life than other children,who spent their time playing,will not learn until they are at least a few years older.This child will master the value of education early on,and will leave a deep impression on parents with his knowledge,therefore gaining self-confidence and motivation.

In spite of some merits,there would certainly be negative effects as well.Leisure activities involves teamwork of some sort.Much of the activities that young people get involves games such as basketball,volleyball,or football.All of these sports can improve children's coordination skill which is beneficial for their academic projects and teach how to work together to achieve a common goal,in this case,winning.These games are not only one kind of practicing but also significance enhance children's coordination skill which is very crucial for their academic careers.I also believe that allowing the children to play with parents in a pleasure environment,rather than only academic projects,brings a stronger of familial affection,which helps the children to healthy camaraderie with others.

In addition to improving children's coordination,playing games access to life with a relaxing path.It's impossible for responsibilities in their daily routine life.Generally,parents require to make themselves to be pleasure as they were in their childhood by playing games which are the most valid and excellent way to release aggression,refresh their energy and eliminate all tension.It does also make them fun and feel young again which is beneficial for their mental healthy.Meanwhile,children can less stress and make academic projects effectively by playing games with parents.Therefore,games are crucial for parents and children mentally.

Judging from all the evidence offered,we may safely arrive at the conclusion that children participate in games with parents is important for children's life.
fuqiangang   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / Toefl: Treat pets like family members or not? 'it is not a good idea' [7]

Hi
From my perspective,I believe that the relationships that people have with their pets are healthy for many reasons.
1.Animals provide companionship for people who are too old to maintain regular camaraderie.
2.Animals have been proven to reduce their master's stress.
3Having an animal can prepare a young couple for having offspring.

Of course,I think your essay is too insubstantial to develop essay empty.
fuqiangang   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:It is important for students to participate in school's leisure activities? [7]

Thanks for your reply!Now.I have some quick questions about me essay:
1"Every parent is generally most concerned about the development of their children so that parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring"I want to revise this sentence"...devote themselves to cultivating their offspring who enrich konwledge sufficiently."

2"In a sense,it's more diverse and thoughtful for students to participate school's extracurricular activities"I don't know how to revise this paragraph.Please help me alter this stage,thank you.

I will look forward to your reply.I appreciate your help!
fuqiangang   
Aug 11, 2013
Writing Feedback / [TOEFL] The characteristics of NEIGHBORS - Specific details and examples [9]

" if we live in an unsafe place and go away or travel for a long time, we may need someone to keep an eye on our houses and call us if something goes wrong with our places in our absence."....Maybe you can say: "Another important aspect of being a good neighbor is to be vigilant.If people see a robber trying into your house,then your neighber call the police."I contend that it is more vigorous to prove your ideality.

Of course,your essay structure has brought out some issues.
1.I think your language should be more flexible
2I suggest you should avoide the repetition of your language.
3I deem you should make your expample more specific

In conclusion,you should alter these note that I mentioned.Once this process is complete,your the contents of essay can develop substantially!
fuqiangang   
Aug 10, 2013
Writing Feedback / TOEFL:It is important for students to participate in school's leisure activities? [7]

Every parent is generally most concerned about the development of their children so that parents almost instinctively devote themselves to cultivating their offspring.In addition to aspiring students'academic pursuits,participating in their school's extracurricular activities are usually on the must-learn list of the parents.From my perspectives.I agree that students should go in for school's extracurricular activities

In a sense,it's more diverse and thoughtful for students to participate school's extracurricular activities.For example,when one studies art and music,one is exposed to many difficult cultures and points of view.It allows the audience to perceive the world through an individual set of eyes.They teach us how to spark interest in other cultures and diverse ways of life to promote understanding and tolerance of others.Therefore,it's also a porthole to peer into areas of many cultures,including one's own,that one would not readily have access to.They are essential to our spiritual life.

Furthermore,it's suitable for students to participate extracurricular activities when they are free.Students absorb things quickly and bear exact the ability needed in extracurricular activities.Extracurricular activities are not like academic projects which has more strict rules.They are generally abstract,requiring creativity and ideality to be enriched.Students are privileged to have these abilities because they are given more freedom and their fancy has not yet been killed due to academic circumstances.Students of today's modern world have similar issues with life and extracurricular activities bring out students' joy of flying in fancy.

Extracurricular activities actually enhance academic study without doubt.Such activities have also brought some astonished consequences,the most beneficial merit of leisure activities is that we cannot merely develop areas of brain but even get higher grades to promote their academic careers.As is often the case,a complex academic pursuit is not waiting for us right there and then.Sometimes it comes out of inspirations discussed with other students in depth after finishing the extracurricular activities so that students make more positive attitudes toward school.

Taking into account all these factors,we may safely draw the conclusion that it is crucial for students to participate in their school's leisure activities.
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