Unanswered [3] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by chinhnguyen7
Joined: Apr 26, 2009
Last Post: Jun 11, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: South Korea

Displayed posts: 5
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chinhnguyen7   
Jun 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / IELTS ESSAY: Internet and communication [3]

Your essay is well written with strong arguments. There are just some minor errors that I want to correct :)

... the difference between the internet and other communicating methods (this may not be wrong, but why don't you use 'communication methods' instead. It sounds much more conventional to me.)

First of all, the internet has brought so much convenience to our communication.
... there are a wide range of offered services in the internet, such as ...

Since people at different ages have different favoured communication manners, it is uneasy for those who ...
But this drawback is not the one that could not be dealt with. .

... the application of the internet will be more and more ...
PS: remember to capitalize I nternet
chinhnguyen7   
Jun 11, 2010
Undergraduate / admissions essay--WHY DO YOU WANT TO ATTEND NYUAD? [10]

For a 'Why ABC' essay, I think yours is a little too much focus on yourself, rather than the university that you want to attend. It's better to show the admission committee why their university attracts you that much. Anyway, this is my sole opinion; the content is still up to you.
chinhnguyen7   
Jun 10, 2010
Writing Feedback / History leads us to the bright destination in the ocean of social development and revolution [6]

I deem your essay irrelevant to the topic, especially the second paragraph.
In my opinion, the topic wants you to show that history is valuable only when we can learn from it, then use the knowledge or experience to make this contemporary society a better place. In another word, history which we can't learn from is no more than a useless piece of paper.

Give it another try :)
chinhnguyen7   
Apr 27, 2009
Undergraduate / Visiting Hoa Sen Charity Shelter [2]

Thank you, Kevin.

Visiting Hoa Sen charity shelter left an indelible mark on my memory. I had the chance to meet and give encouraging gifts to orphaned children. Seeing their tears dropped while they told tragic stories before being adopt into the shelter, I felt and a blend of sad and resentment rose in me, sad for their lives, and resentment against myself for not having noticed such unfortunate people before. Joining a hand in helping the children reduce what they had suffered made me really happy. Indeed the visit gave me a very important lesson - the lesson of giving cares to other people.

I think that the short essay above is quite wordy. What is your opinion?
chinhnguyen7   
Apr 26, 2009
Undergraduate / Personal Statement - Most important invention, and more. [6]

Please review my PS and give feedback.
Your help would be very much appreciated.

Q1) What do you think is the most important invention recently made.

Among many inventions of our modern world, the Internet stands out as an amazing development with its effects on almost every aspect of social life. The Internet has greatly transformed the world in unimaginable ways, bringing the different parts of the world into closer touch with one another than ever before.

The primary, and arguably most noble, intent of the Internet is to assist in mankind's pursuit of knowledge. The rapidly increasing information source, together with the ability to exchange knowledge faster than ever before is opening a whole new environment for learning and researching. Prior to the Internet, people might spend all day long on finding needed knowledge in a library. Today, with the assistance of the Internet, we can find what we need quickly and conveniently. Students' knowledge was once limited by the resources available in school or local libraries; nowadays, they are able to access a nearly infinite number of resources via the Internet. Students also have chances to discuss what they have learned, share ideas, and exchange knowledge with other people all over the world by means of interaction through email or forums; and distance is no longer a concern.

Furthermore, the Internet provides people the equity that they do not have in real life. In a face-to-face encounter, people tend to judge others' characteristics based on their first impression of others' looks. On the contrary, the Internet helps us to understand a person through their ideas, their very own dispositions, but not the outward aspects. In the real world, many people who are shy rarely speak out and thus do not have opportunities for interaction. Via faceless online interaction, they will feel more confident to contribute their ideas to the public. The Internet has created a virtual world where all people, no matter what their genders, ages, races, or statuses, are welcome to express their opinions, share ideas, and interact with each other.

The Internet has triggered many innovations in many aspects of life. With the Internet, trading, communication, finance, and so on, become more convenient than ever. With just a mouse click, customers can stay home and get their shipments delivered direct to them; emails take seconds to arrive; information flows of finance markets are kept updated. However, just as every aspect of life, the Internet does have some unhealthy sides. Today we sometimes hear about the Internet's impacts on privacy, intellectual property, crime, security, and so on. But the fault lies not with the Internet itself, but rather with human's intentions to misuse the facilities that the Internet has provided them with.

With all the reasons mentioned above, the Internet irrefutably deserved to be called 'the most important invention recently made.'
Q2) what do you want to study in the future and why? Do you have any experience related to the areas of sciences (for example: competitions, summer school programs, etc.)

For years, I have maintained an intense interest in Computer Science and I hope to pursue it in the future. I, of course, take immense enjoyment from the act of programming. This activity allows me to apply the inherent beauty of algorithms to computer languages, create small applications like schedulers for daily tasks as well as large ones like those that regulate network interactions on the internet. From the very beginning of my attendance in a Specialized in Informatics class, I realized just how much I enjoyed computer science, particularly because it so effectively explains so many wonders of the modern age. The more I study this science, the more I want to understand, apply and manipulate it.

In junior high school, I was selected to compete in the citywide Mathematics contest, thus I had participated a school's Mathematics program. In high school, as an Informatics Team's member attending in the national contest, I participated to special training courses in which I had the chance to apply the beauty of Mathematics to Informatics, creating a special blend of the two sciences.

Q3) list and describe significant events in your life:

Thirteen (13) years old (2nd year in junior high school): Met my inspiring math teacher - Mrs. Mai
Before I met Mrs. Mai, I had studied without any particular interest. However, she taught me how to find study motivation in each subject, to understand them deeply, not only the superficial things as the way I learned before. Ever since, I have seen each subject, particularly Mathematics, as an intriguing mystery waiting for me to discover. It was her who encouraged me to pursue Informatics study in high school, the newest yet the most interesting subject I have learnt.

Sixteen (16) years old: my first charity activity
Moved here: https://essayforum.com/undergraduate-2/visiting-hoa-sen-charity-shelter-6525

Eighteen (18) years old (3rd year in high school): won National Award in Informatics
The national award is an important milestone in my student life. It is a recognition of my efforts after I was chosen to participate in the nation contest. Through the training courses, my intellectual ability was challenged to grow in the research-style study. After a long study progress, having experienced difficulties, even failures, I was grateful to see the day my enduring desire to succeed paid off.
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