Undergraduate / An Experience Like No Other. BU Supplement. [2]

Hi guys, the Boston University app is due in two hours and I desperately need some feedback, please! Any help is appreciated, especially with grammar and flow and stuff. Thank you sooo much in advance.

Prompt: Why BU?

Offering a world class education in a diverse and urban environment, Boston University (BU) is the perfect school for an individual like myself. BU offers me an excellent college experience in the heart of Boston with its urban and diverse community.

From a young age I've been captivated by English and feel that BU's undergraduate program in the language will provide me with a solid foundation in literature from around the world. BU also offers extensive opportunities for me to pursue my varied interests. I'm thrilled with the idea of being able to study subjects outside of my English major such as French and Chinese. I'm also happy to know that BU allows students to enrich their education with the chance to study abroad and learn in a foreign environment, which allows them to broaden their professional and personal views. For a student interested in languages, studying abroad provides me with an authentic language learning experience.

Of course, college should not be all work with no play. BU follows this philosophy and encourages students to be active participants in the real world. My athletic side will find a home in BU's phenomenal sports programs. The bustling city itself with countless historical sites, museums, and amenities will keep me thinking throughout my stay. The hundreds of student organizations on campus will allow me to find life-long friends with whom I share similar interests.

For me, BU is like no other because it promises students an unparalleled college experience to remember.

Undergraduate / never go sky diving - Why Brown supplement too creative? [5]

Why Brown? 200 words.

Rough Draft:
Brown is like no other. Even among his Ivy League buddies Brown stands out as the quirky and funny friend, the one who's down to earth and gets along with everyone else. He offers his friends no judgment when they come to him with their problems, suggesting solutions that are not so easily recognized at first. Brown has a close knit group of friends because he likes the sense of community it gives him. He is the first to pose the most baffling of questions, tickling his friends' minds and making them really think for once. Brown is the companion who, without him, you would never go sky diving because the activity is out of your comfort zone. Sometimes you wonder if Brown has weird things like books bound with human skin hiding in his personal library (he does). Brown challenges you and makes you want to pull your hair out some days, but you remain loyal because he feeds your curiosity and always pushes you to explore what hasn't been explored before. There are no boundaries with Brown. He just wants to have his friends feel free and live their lives to the fullest.

Is it too out of the box? Should I be more straight foward and just answer normally? Is this worth polishing? Any feedback is much appreciated. Thank you!

Undergraduate / SHY BOY; Background/story central to my identity [5]

Help :c Everything is due on the first of January and I think I'm going to die. I wrote like four different essays and this mess is the best one IMO. Any help is appreciated!

Shy Student Boy

My English teacher once asked the class what exactly it was that Juliet found so charming in her bumbling Romeo. Everyone avoided making eye contact with him while my mind started working in full gear, churning out the most insightful and funny response it possibly could. But the odds were I wouldn't utter a single word.

All my life I was characterized as the shy boy who blended into the background while he scribbled in his notebooks and let the others talk. It's not that I never had anything to say, but rather I found it difficult on nearly every level to vocalize my thoughts.

How fortunate for me then that English was a language with a literary tradition.

Through the written word I could express the thoughts I kept inside myself for far too long even if there were few who wanted to pay me any attention. Letters didn't discriminate and I could freely say what I felt needed to be said on paper. I wouldn't have to face the judgment of my teenaged peers and their hive mentality. I wouldn't have to endure the arguments that are sure to arrive when you're a liberal born into a family of strict Catholics and Republicans. In my writing, I didn't have to conform to ideals and societal norms of my generation. In my writing, I could succinctly be me.

Poetry was where I showed others how I felt. The loving things I couldn't say to my friends and family out loud without blushing and stuttering were easy to relay in cards and letters. Through poetry, I confessed a thousand unspoken words and feelings I harbored over a year's time to one of the people most dear to me. I delivered my confessions and feelings without reserve, the written word giving me more confidence. Poetry let me ______.

My creativity was free to run rampant in the form of novels and short stories, unbounded from any prompt or rubric. My first two novels written for National Novel Writing Month gave me immense satisfaction in knowing I could build entire worlds and histories. Whereas interdimensional time travel and happy endings didn't exist in real life, they did in my work. The turmoil of real life could be swept aside for a short period in my world. Fiction was one of the main mediums I could use to show the world at large both my imagination and my individualism, two traits I hold dear to myself in a world concerned with conformity.

The nerdy side of my personality was all too happy to show off (just a little bit) in my academic writing. Analytical reading prompts and open-ended questions challenged and excited my mind. I realized nearly everything we know is recorded in writing and preserved for the next generation. The thrill of finally coming to my own understanding of Plato and J.K. Rowling on a base level and being able to show others my discoveries pleased me to no end. Any contribution I could make to the world of academia emboldened and encouraged me to keep on writing.

Writing is an integral part of who I am. It was through my writing that I ended up showing my teacher why Juliet adored Romeo. It is through my writing that I express how I feel, what I think, and what I've come to realize. And in the same fashion, it is through my writing that I'll show the world who I am and what I have to offer.

problems: impersonal, cliched, repetitive, no examples, etc. I can shove in 140 more words to remedy this. Deleting is quite possible too.
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Also, one of Brown's supplements!

Where have you lived and for how long? (100)

I've lived in San Jose, California for all my seventeen years alive, for better or for worse. San Jose is an odd combination of suburban and the urban, a diverse city that has exposed me to all walks of life. Though I've always resided within the city, I don't have a single place I call home because of constant relocation. Since birth, my single mother and I have lived in three different apartments and two different homes. I now live in a modest home in the suburban part of town, a place I hope I'll be able to call home for years to come.

Undergraduate / UC Prompt 1: "Living Online"; world you come from [4]

1. Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

The world I come from is hosted online. I grew up in a society where we cannot help but glance at the panels of our smartphones and laptops; a society where companies like Google want to provide Third World countries with access to the Internet before food and water. My world has been there for me ever since I could read and has helped me foster my interests and develop entirely new ones. I'm not ashamed to say that I've met people online whose friendship I value even more than those in my real life.

If it were not for the advent of the World Wide Web, I don't think I'd love half the things I do right now. The Internet has always been my number one tool for discovery and has led me to find a trove of diamonds in the rough. My eclectic tastes in music, ranging from indie-pop to trip hop to the spoken word and back, can be attributed to the many music sharing sites available online. When my mum brought home a dusty old piano one day for my grandmother, I didn't hesitate to search "teach myself piano" and promptly try to play and sing along to my favorite songs right away. Needless to say, my failed first attempt only led me to push myself harder, teach myself the basics, and try not to butcher the songs of my musical idols. Though I'm not a concert pianist in the least, it makes me wonder if I'd even be able to play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" today without the internet and its seemingly infinite supply of knowledge only a click away.

My own lifelong interested only expanded the deeper I entrenched myself into the cyber world. Reading was, has been, and always will be a great love of mine. I never begrudged the activity for taking up hours of my childhood and reveled in consuming the stories great writers before me had written. It isn't a surprise that I took to the romantic idea of being a writer in my early teen years. The horribly tacky and clichéd poetry I eagerly wrote eventually grew and developed into short stories and not-so-bad poems as I exposed myself to the classics and lesser known works of other would-be writers online. The biggest step I took in the literary world was taking on the task of penning my first novel, Watching Rian Keller, in November 2012 as part of National Novel Writing Month. The Internet connected me to the NaNoWriMo community where I made friends with other aspiring writers, supporting each other in our endeavors. The entire experience of NaNoWriMo left me feeling more content and proud of myself than ever.

But of course, I'm not viewing my screen through rosy-eyed glasses. I know that the Internet isn't all success stories and warm feelings. My world has taught me that there will always be those who still stop at nothing to hurt you, discourage you, and bring you down. My novel and other works took the brunt of hate from flamers and trolls when I published them publically online for some reviews. Although the majority of comments were endearing and supportive, some sought to weaken my morale. By weathering these comments and taking them in stride, I've come to realize that, although my home away from home isn't perfect, I wouldn't give it up for anything. The Internet helped me find a community I could fit into and taught me to explore the things I love.