Undergraduate / bland sandwich - 'to know about you' Yale supplement [14]

Capitalize "Ma" and what are timbs?
As quanny said, I agree that it is unconventional and full of imagery... unconventional as in different, usually college essays are very look at me and all my achievements!, look at what I've learned!, etc. Your essay had a really sort of deep feel and I loved the end and the part about lost time. This was great and really beautiful writing but to me at least, it sort of gave off a melancholy, depressed/sad feeling which is a bit risky and may or may not work in your favor. You want colleges to have a good impression of you and I'm not sure "expressionless, bored" is the image you want to have going.

Also, legal age for cigs is 18... so I'd leave out that and any drug reference in general out since colleges may not look too highly upon that...

Undergraduate / Lego Kits - "My interest in mechanical engineering"- UIUC prompt [4]

Hmmm, well I actually liked both, so I made a hybrid!
Version 2 has a better hook, although it makes more of an impact if you write as such "Every Christmas, my parents always get me the same gift: Lego Kits."

One problem is that the Christmas Lego presents and watching robots on TV don't connect that well. Maybe cut out the "Growing up watching robots...perform complex tasks."

Every Christmas, my parents always get me the same gift, Lego Kits. As a result, I have been building a massive collection of Lego pieces, motors, sensors, gears, lights, cameras, and batteries. And, remove "And" and just start sentence with "With" with this massive collection of Lego pieces, motors, sensors, gears, lights, cameras, and batteries, remove , I created myriad amounts of robots, which, simple as they were, geared my interests towards Mechanical Engineering. I wanted to take my dream further. Add transition, how about "So when I found out about a robotic class..."? I found out a robotic class in my high school that teaches how to build and program robots from scratch, I immediately decided to take it.

On the first day, my instructor gave the assignment to build a16-feet-by-18-feet, remote-controlled robot that picks up ping-pong balls. Keep it all in the past! "After I researched the mechanisms..." I research the mechanisms and thought about all the different ways to build my creation, I realized that an engineering's greatest task is to learn from the experience, remove experience the numberless better word would be numerous past models and formulate a more efficient and novel concept. Without many definitive boundaries limiting my idea, remove the amount of creativity that lies in the machines that I can create, remove is only restricted by the bounds of my imagination. With this new found inspiration, I successfully constructed my first mechatronic piece of work from raw material. This project piqued my interest with robots and solidified my passion in mechanical engineering. To become an engineer and to build imaginative and creative machines and to always improve on it is a dream coming true.

Undergraduate / Licking tigers - UCHICAGO- favorites supplement-- Dr. Seuss and painting [4]

In the first paragraph, the sentence "Even after moving to America...I began hearing English on a daily basis" seems out of place. Perhaps a better way to incorporate would be to make a clearer connection between how reading this book eventually improved your English because the Dr. Seuss book marked the beginning of preschool which is when you began to hear English on a daily basis, etc.

In the second paragraph, I was a bit confused about the "masked cult member." I thought you were being attacked by like the KKK!! But then I figured out you were referring to the Deatheaters. Perhaps replacing that phrase with Deatheater would clear up any confusion :)

In the third paragraph, the transition "the next day" could be replaced with something better. You use "summer of 2005" in your previous paragraph and "three years later" in your next. I'd be consistent and keep up with the time-telling transitions that involve a longer period of time like those. If the art lessons were around the same time as Harry Potter, use "that same summer."

Also, I've never heard of Highlights. Maybe you could explain what type of magazine it is?
Great ending! I loved this essay, it a very cute/humorous/enjoyable :)

Undergraduate / Lego Kits - "My interest in mechanical engineering"- UIUC prompt [4]

Hello! I'm willing to help :) thanks for your feedback on my Duke essay

Grammar, Usage / huge slap that wake me up - Can someone help me express my idea in a clearer way? [2]

I feel that the wording is a bit off and as a result it sounds a bit awkward. Perhaps a better way to rephrase would be:

"Before I was asleep but now I had been slapped awake. I had been too consumed by my self-gratifying compassion that I tunned out the fact that civil disobedience does not fit in this social context."

Although I really liked the way you explained it when you were giving context. Perhaps incorporate it?
"It was as though I had just been slapped. Before, I had been blind but now I was awake. I was too consumed and carried away by my own self-gratifying compassion to the extent that I failed to understand that civil disobedience did not fit in this social context:it is not a liberal democracy it--- (authoritarian govt ), hence not compatible to civil disobedience, which is the key character of liberal democracy."