iPreo
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / MADNESS; UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA- FAVORITE WORD. [3]
thanks so much for the advice. i'll get right on it.
thanks so much for the advice. i'll get right on it.
iPreo
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / MADNESS; UNIVERSITY OF VIRGINIA- FAVORITE WORD. [3]
What is your favorite word and why? 250
As peculiar as my choice might seem at a first glance, my favorite word is 'madness'. And no, I am not referring to its meaning of mental illness, but rather to its connotation of genius. I have noticed that, along the years, the greatest minds in history have been too often ridiculed, dismissed, and labeled as 'mad'. From worldly renowned philosophers such as Aristotle, to unparalleled physicists like Albert Einstein, they all shared a passion that was so consuming, it distinguished them from the rest of the people, guiding them to obtain grandness, and to drastically revolutionize the world. This powerful passion was at times perceived as unusual, as their thoughts did not mirror the prosaic details of the daily life, but their authentic manner of thinking, their genius.
It is precisely this sort of passion that attracts me most, for I hope to cultivate my mind to reach that certain intellectual beauty and passion. I strive to some day contribute to the world's progress through my own 'madness'.
My word count is 169. Should I extend it? Please help!
What is your favorite word and why? 250
As peculiar as my choice might seem at a first glance, my favorite word is 'madness'. And no, I am not referring to its meaning of mental illness, but rather to its connotation of genius. I have noticed that, along the years, the greatest minds in history have been too often ridiculed, dismissed, and labeled as 'mad'. From worldly renowned philosophers such as Aristotle, to unparalleled physicists like Albert Einstein, they all shared a passion that was so consuming, it distinguished them from the rest of the people, guiding them to obtain grandness, and to drastically revolutionize the world. This powerful passion was at times perceived as unusual, as their thoughts did not mirror the prosaic details of the daily life, but their authentic manner of thinking, their genius.
It is precisely this sort of passion that attracts me most, for I hope to cultivate my mind to reach that certain intellectual beauty and passion. I strive to some day contribute to the world's progress through my own 'madness'.
My word count is 169. Should I extend it? Please help!
iPreo
Dec 28, 2013
Undergraduate / Combination of values - William and Mary supplement essay; Uniqueness [4]
I really think your essay needs more revising, and a clearer structure, because I think you idea somehow gets lost in the process.
Also, I am not sure whether the words 'encompass' and 'magnanimity' are the best fit. You might want to get other opinions on that, though.
Again, the idea is not very clearly presented. You could try focusing more on the different identities part, the beauty of diversity within your family.
Your starting point is really strong! It is an excellent idea to discuss the differences between your Korean side, and the American one, and how they all come together to make you unique. You just need to restructure it a bit. I think you can make a really good essay! Best of luck!
I really think your essay needs more revising, and a clearer structure, because I think you idea somehow gets lost in the process.
Influenced by the two vastly different cultures, my perspective encompasses their uniqueness, and allows me to view the world with more magnanimity.
Also, I am not sure whether the words 'encompass' and 'magnanimity' are the best fit. You might want to get other opinions on that, though.
but we learned to accept that everyone has the right to express his or her own identity.
Again, the idea is not very clearly presented. You could try focusing more on the different identities part, the beauty of diversity within your family.
Your starting point is really strong! It is an excellent idea to discuss the differences between your Korean side, and the American one, and how they all come together to make you unique. You just need to restructure it a bit. I think you can make a really good essay! Best of luck!
iPreo
Dec 28, 2013
Undergraduate / I have achieved many milestones; Accomplishment or event, formal or informal [5]
I really love your essay. I think it is very well written and well structured, and it answers the prompt perfectly. I especially liked the idea of the bus ride and the journey to Jamaica because it can also symbolise the spiritual journey, thus your essay gains complexity and profundity.
This part actually made me giggle. I found the image very comical, and I think anyone would.
I am not sure about this sentence, though. It doesn't seem very clear to me, but you might want to ask for other opinions on this one.
Overall, great essay!
I really love your essay. I think it is very well written and well structured, and it answers the prompt perfectly. I especially liked the idea of the bus ride and the journey to Jamaica because it can also symbolise the spiritual journey, thus your essay gains complexity and profundity.
There were times I allowed him to greet some of the passengers and he reasoned with them via his own language.
This part actually made me giggle. I found the image very comical, and I think anyone would.
This process took place over ten months and culminated in a few hours.
I am not sure about this sentence, though. It doesn't seem very clear to me, but you might want to ask for other opinions on this one.
Overall, great essay!
iPreo
Dec 28, 2013
Undergraduate / 'play tennis from a very early age' Duke short essay. discuss an extracurricular activity. [4]
Please tell me what you think abut this essay. I am not sure about the 'this athletic experience' part, and the rest of the sentence. Is it convincing enough? Thank you
Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)
I have been blessed with the opportunity to be able to play tennis from a very early age. Undoubtedly, this athletic experience has had the greatest impact on my development as a person. Throughout the years, the strict lifestyle, and discipline have educated me, opening my eyes not only to the crucial importance of pursuing my dreams, and striving for success, but also to the necessity of teamwork in any achievement. It has offered me the privilege to travel to many culturally diverse places, learn from my encounters with various types of people, and establish priceless friendships. While closely observing successful players, I have consolidated my opinion that hard work, discipline, and determination are the core elements of an achievement of any kind. Even though it's been over 13 years since I was first introduced to tennis, I still embrace my daily practice sessions with the same joy and satisfaction.
Please tell me what you think abut this essay. I am not sure about the 'this athletic experience' part, and the rest of the sentence. Is it convincing enough? Thank you
Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)
I have been blessed with the opportunity to be able to play tennis from a very early age. Undoubtedly, this athletic experience has had the greatest impact on my development as a person. Throughout the years, the strict lifestyle, and discipline have educated me, opening my eyes not only to the crucial importance of pursuing my dreams, and striving for success, but also to the necessity of teamwork in any achievement. It has offered me the privilege to travel to many culturally diverse places, learn from my encounters with various types of people, and establish priceless friendships. While closely observing successful players, I have consolidated my opinion that hard work, discipline, and determination are the core elements of an achievement of any kind. Even though it's been over 13 years since I was first introduced to tennis, I still embrace my daily practice sessions with the same joy and satisfaction.
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / 'My friends have a running joke' Common App- Perfectly content essay. [4]
This essay is good, but I am not sure if it answers the question properly. The prompt requires you describe a place or environment, and your essay is mostly concerned with your grandmother's description. Maybe you could focus more on your grandmother's apartment, the place where she lives. I think yo should seek other opinions as well. Overall I think the essay is nice and offers a nice perspective into your personal thoughts.
This essay is good, but I am not sure if it answers the question properly. The prompt requires you describe a place or environment, and your essay is mostly concerned with your grandmother's description. Maybe you could focus more on your grandmother's apartment, the place where she lives. I think yo should seek other opinions as well. Overall I think the essay is nice and offers a nice perspective into your personal thoughts.
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / My love of puns: Middlebury optional supplement [10]
I especially love the humour and your style of writing. I think the last pun is the perfect touch and the best way to end your essay on a comical note. I am note sure about the second pun at the beginning of the essay, but you might want to ask for other opinions to be sure. I think it's a really good essay. Good job!
I especially love the humour and your style of writing. I think the last pun is the perfect touch and the best way to end your essay on a comical note. I am note sure about the second pun at the beginning of the essay, but you might want to ask for other opinions to be sure. I think it's a really good essay. Good job!
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / "Skeletons in their closet"; Coming Out Of The Closet [5]
I think this essay is very well written, personal, and answers the question perfectly. You vocabulary is excellent and you demonstrate you know what you are talking about by exemplifying the types of cells and chemicals. A really strong essay overall. Great job!
I think this essay is very well written, personal, and answers the question perfectly. You vocabulary is excellent and you demonstrate you know what you are talking about by exemplifying the types of cells and chemicals. A really strong essay overall. Great job!
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Technology Clinic and passion - Why Lafayette? My attempt to be a little different. [11]
I think your reasons are clear, diverse and very well written. However, I really think you should try and combine them so that they can form an essay structure. I don't think you will be able to fit all your reasons in 200 words, so you might want to try and select the most important to you. They want to see how you formulate your thoughts and how well you handle writing in English. Anyone can list their motives like that. Connect them, place them in context, and I think you can pull off a strong essay.
I hope this was somewhat helpful. Best of luck
I think your reasons are clear, diverse and very well written. However, I really think you should try and combine them so that they can form an essay structure. I don't think you will be able to fit all your reasons in 200 words, so you might want to try and select the most important to you. They want to see how you formulate your thoughts and how well you handle writing in English. Anyone can list their motives like that. Connect them, place them in context, and I think you can pull off a strong essay.
I hope this was somewhat helpful. Best of luck
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Brown short answer essays. Where have you lived Why are you drawn to the academic subjects [5]
Thank you so much for you help! I think the essays look a lot better now!
Thank you so much for you help! I think the essays look a lot better now!
iPreo
Dec 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Brown short answer essays. Where have you lived Why are you drawn to the academic subjects [5]
can someone please look through these essays? I will help you back
can someone please look through these essays? I will help you back
iPreo
Dec 25, 2013
Undergraduate / Brown short answer essays. Where have you lived Why are you drawn to the academic subjects [5]
I would greatly appreciate opinions on these short answer essays. These are my first drafts and I am not sure if they answer the questions properly. Should I talk more about Brown in the first one? And is the description of my hometown what they are looking for in the second? Many thanks!
A. Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated in our Member Section, earlier in this application? If you are "undecided" or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. 150 word limit
It was at the age of 11 when I first found out that my brother suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder, and, at the time, my knowledge of neurological illnesses was modest. As I grew up witnessing his condition, however, I developed a keen interest in mental disorders and the human brain in general. As a person who visualizes her life as a continuous pursuit of excellence, I have set for myself the goal to achieve greatness in the overwhelmingly captivating and complex field of cognitive science, so that I might help people like my brother, and perhaps, one day, I can inspire others through my passionate contribution.
Another academic field that appeals to my interest is psychology. While being closely related to cognitive science, I believe this subject can broaden my perspective, and deepen my understanding of the people around me, and myself.
B. Tell us where you have lived - and for how long - since you were born; whether you've always lived in the same place, or perhaps in a variety of places. 100 word limit
I was born and raised in Bucharest, the capital of Romania. After 18 years of observation, I see my hometown as a fusion between two drastically different concepts. On one side, there are the limitations and mentality instilled by communism; while on the other side, there is the strive for progress, and the aspiration to achieve higher life standards. Paradoxically, both of these perceptions are simultaneously expressed through aspects such as the architectural diversity. Buildings of completely different designs stubbornly stand next to each other, combining the city's determination to evolve, with the elements that once formed 'The Little Paris'.
I would greatly appreciate opinions on these short answer essays. These are my first drafts and I am not sure if they answer the questions properly. Should I talk more about Brown in the first one? And is the description of my hometown what they are looking for in the second? Many thanks!
A. Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated in our Member Section, earlier in this application? If you are "undecided" or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. 150 word limit
It was at the age of 11 when I first found out that my brother suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder, and, at the time, my knowledge of neurological illnesses was modest. As I grew up witnessing his condition, however, I developed a keen interest in mental disorders and the human brain in general. As a person who visualizes her life as a continuous pursuit of excellence, I have set for myself the goal to achieve greatness in the overwhelmingly captivating and complex field of cognitive science, so that I might help people like my brother, and perhaps, one day, I can inspire others through my passionate contribution.
Another academic field that appeals to my interest is psychology. While being closely related to cognitive science, I believe this subject can broaden my perspective, and deepen my understanding of the people around me, and myself.
B. Tell us where you have lived - and for how long - since you were born; whether you've always lived in the same place, or perhaps in a variety of places. 100 word limit
I was born and raised in Bucharest, the capital of Romania. After 18 years of observation, I see my hometown as a fusion between two drastically different concepts. On one side, there are the limitations and mentality instilled by communism; while on the other side, there is the strive for progress, and the aspiration to achieve higher life standards. Paradoxically, both of these perceptions are simultaneously expressed through aspects such as the architectural diversity. Buildings of completely different designs stubbornly stand next to each other, combining the city's determination to evolve, with the elements that once formed 'The Little Paris'.