Zackjam1
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / "Without an Expression"- CENTRAL TO IDENTITY [3]
Hi, thank you for your response on my essay, I will try to fix it.
Now your essay. I think you should write more about how your struggle on speaking started, this should be included in the middle of your essay. Next, "Finally I got the respect and credit deserved." - This should be well explained, like for example adding information about how you were treated before you could learn how to speak and if you really want to include this sentence you should check some grammatic mistakes in it. I think your beginning and your ending are quite well, it is the middle part that feels incomplete.
Hi, thank you for your response on my essay, I will try to fix it.
Now your essay. I think you should write more about how your struggle on speaking started, this should be included in the middle of your essay. Next, "Finally I got the respect and credit deserved." - This should be well explained, like for example adding information about how you were treated before you could learn how to speak and if you really want to include this sentence you should check some grammatic mistakes in it. I think your beginning and your ending are quite well, it is the middle part that feels incomplete.