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Posts by Thomas1948
Name: Thomas Basanta
Joined: Mar 21, 2014
Last Post: May 4, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Venezuela
School: Tommy

Displayed posts: 5
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Thomas1948   
May 4, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Different aspects of Globalization; 'Countries are more dependant...' [2]

Question:
Even though globalization affects the world's economies in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

It is not a mystery that Globalization is new economical structure stablished all over the world. Countries are more dependant between each other which gives the chance to some positive situations like easier trade between nations. However, this also brings some drawbacks with it, like the dissapearance of small businesses and overexploitation of workers. To clearly analyze Globalization, it is necessary to comprehend both sides .

As a positive aspect, Globalization has brought the barriers among countries down. Now, it is possible to trade any kind of merchandise easier than ever, and even more, without worrying if it is near or far. A perfect example of this situation is Japan, which has a very powerful economy based on its technological exports, yet it needs a inmense amount of food and energy exports to maintain its numerous population. Regarding of this, many nations has benefited by the chance of sharing resources to increase their citizen's life quality rate.

Although, there are some drawbacks of the Globalization too. Particularly, small businesses usually are no match for big enterprises like Mcdonalds, Cocacola or Pepsi which overwhelm the market with abundant adverts and bigger investments. Furthermore, workers are overexploited sometimes due the control of job opportunities they offer and the lack of it can be experienced in smaller countries.

In conclusion, Globalization is an economic structure that offers many advantages in order to share resources better all over the planet. However, it is necessaty to take a closer look because there are also negative aspects that can diminish the life conditions of some places
Thomas1948   
Apr 26, 2014
Writing Feedback / IETLS task 2: Is it necessary to restict Long working hours in workplace? [9]

In general, I can say it is very good essay. It is well organized and, you used complex sentences with accurate vocabulary.
On the drawbacks, maybe you could say something about the second paragraph in the introduction. There is not much information that outlines that you were going to talk about government measures, and remember, that is one of the functions of the introduction. In addition, I will put some grammatical corrections that I found in some sentences:

"it adversely affecting them" .... this sentence needs the verb "to be"... it is adversely affecting them

"in my personal view, I agree with the view" ... repetition of the word "view"

"people don't want to sacrifices" .... the verb "sacrifice" is in infinitive here so it does not need the "s"

I believe the rest is fine. Very good my friend.
Thomas1948   
Apr 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching TV? IELTS [11]

Excellent essay. You were definitely coherent and organized. Futhermore, your vocabulary is quite extense. The only problem that I could find is that you introduced new information in the conclusion by mentioning the timetable for watching TV. This can drop you some point, because the conclusion should be drawn for the paragraphs as some kind summary of the essay. Anything else is great.
Thomas1948   
Apr 12, 2014
Writing Feedback / Task - Are Macro-sports events good in easing international tensions? [5]

Question:
Popular events like the football world cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tensions and releasing patriotic emotions in a safe way. To What extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Macro-sports events like football world cup and the Olimpics certainly bring people together geographically and spiritually through their massive impact in people's lifes. I personally believe that if they are manage cleverly with an empatic message, these events can definitely ease international tensions and help fans all over the world to understand each other.

It is important to comprehend that political ideas, which in some cases can be in opposite sides, are just one part of the people. All individuals have emotions and sensitivity, which guided with the right slogan of sports event, could drive them to know each other better, For example, an advert encouraging the gentle gesture of exchanging shirts after a football match may cause an slight change in the way on habitant of a country thinks about another from a strange region. Furthermore, sports environment envelopes players and fans in a healthy competition ruled only by rules and where anyone can win no matter the odds.

Another important fact to take into account refers to how competitors and followers share space. They are gather together from all the corners of the world and comprehended in a particular place which give them the chance to interact phisically and emotionally. For example, in the Olimpics competitors have to deal between each other in the locker rooms , restrooms, hotels and obviously during competition. This causes a diversity of perspectives to collide, or on the other side, create a more open mind to different views which can be greatly positive.

In conclusion, massive international events generate an atmosphere of feedback between individual from diverse regions around the world. Therefore, in my opinion, it can be very helpful to opne people's mind and unite them with right motive.