Unanswered [12] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ShineStarJoti
Name: Jyoti
Joined: May 6, 2014
Last Post: Jun 21, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  

From: India
School: Shine

Displayed posts: 7
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
ShineStarJoti   
Jun 21, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The private motor vehicle improved individual freedom; but it's expensive [6]

Hi,
Thanks to Everyone,

With your help i understand the structure of the Essay and hook of the topic . I am new here and started my IELTS prepration. This was my second Essay that a tried to write but did't follow the structure and hook of the topic. Now again i rewrite this essay and need your help to do corrections in my topic.

i am typing my topic again here and requesting you to help me.
ShineStarJoti   
Jun 20, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: The private motor vehicle improved individual freedom; but it's expensive [6]

Topic: The private motor vehicle has greatly improved individual freedom of movement. Moreover, The automobile has become a status symbol. Yet, the use of private motor vehicle has contributed to some of today's most serious problems. How can the use of private motor vehicle be reduced?

In the today's modern era private motor vehicle has greatly improved individuals freedom by advancement in the automobiles. A person doing a reputed job want to use own vehicle for traveling and for their status symbol.

People having own motor vehicle can go anywhere where they want to go without wasting the time on waiting for the buses or trains. As we know in our daily routine, time plays an important role, with the use of private vehicles people can save our time and do something creative rather than spending in the traveling.

Although, Private motor vehicle is the status symbol for the people but on the other side it causes the problems that can not be avoidable. One of the most critical problem of increasing trend in private motor vehicle is decreasing the availability of nation's natural resources like fuel and diesel . The other problem is surge in the traffic . If the people traveling in their own motor vehicle got stuck in a traffic jam will take more time than using public transportation to reach their destination.

The use of private motor vehicle should be reduced by the awareness of people for their duties about nation and taking strict action by the government. If the people understand their duties they will start using facilities run be the government like AC buses .

In conclusion, I can state that if the facilities are provided by the government the people should have to use that are less expensive rather than using private vehicle.
ShineStarJoti   
May 8, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2: Learn by self better than with a teacher [7]

Hello Upinipin,

According to me for getting good knowledge we required a good teacher who can guide us better then the self guidence bt the problem is that sometimes we are fail to find the skilled teacher. However we think that it is good to study by our self than from a weak teacher.

In our modern socity we are blessed with may advanced technology like internet from where we can learn more affectively than teacher .
ShineStarJoti   
May 7, 2014
Writing Feedback / Success is only getting big reward or collecting money or something special [10]

Thanks Fikri and Pahan,

I am preparing my Ielts exam so i put my first essay at my tread.
hope all of you will help me for my exam.
i am new here in this forum so need some help regarding how can i put my essays and what format i can use for writing.
ShineStarJoti   
May 6, 2014
Writing Feedback / Success is only getting big reward or collecting money or something special [10]

Global diaspora defines the success on their way. however, we can not define success in one way.instead of i would like to say that one can feel success by getting big rewards and getting any monetary values. on the other side one can feel success when he is happy in their life.

in my opinion , success is about feeling happy in our life with family and friends. people believes that spreading happiness , peace and prosperity to others is success. one can please a child by giving a candy and feel success when he see smile on the child face. other one can feel success by doing help of an old lady in road cross. so in life small things will give us happiness and we will find success. success is something special that can not be defined in one line.

on the other side, some people think that success is getting status in the society , receiving monetary values, getting gifts from friends and family members. these things can make us happy but we can not say that it is success because it is temporary. it is the part of our life and our needs that is necessary for us. we can see many examples of succesfull people in our society but they are not happy.

in conclusion i will give may opinion that success is turning our wishies into reality at every step of life and making people happy by cracking jokes or doing help.