Writing Feedback / Unpaid community service - "great stepping stone for high school institutions" [6]

Hello guys..please help me out with my writing for the IELTS. I'm not very much confident with how i present my ideas, so your opinions and suggestions will be of great value to me. Thanks a lot!

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is encouraged that compulsory high school programmes should involve an unpaid community service. These public services would comprise a wide range of voluntary works not only for the benefit of the government but for the volunteer themselves.

Nowadays, most students spent their time in a less productive activities during their spare time. They would opt to sinking on their couch the whole day watching tv, playing video games, or even straining their eyes in front of a computer. Not realizing all of which are part of a sedentary lifestyle which they are trying to inculcate on themselves.

If a volunteer service program will be implemented in secondary school, students would have the opportunity to acquire new skills and knowledge in working voluntarily. They would learn team effort as well as the importance of having a job at their own effort and expenses.

Moreover, a healthy lifestyle would be promoted as these kind of community service will drive them to keep in motion physically. Their attention will be further focused on something that is more creative and worthwhile rather than having nothing to do at all.

Through this program, students would nurture not only their skills but also their emotional and social being as well. Furthermore, in some aspect, crime rates would likely be reduced.

In conclusion, it will be a great stepping stone for high school institutions to carry out such programmes for the betterment not only for the students but for the community itself in general.

Writing Feedback / 'healthy diet and adequate exercises' - Methods to improve public health [4]

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
(It would be much appreciated to receive any comments,corrections and suggestions ragarding my writing..please help me out guys. Grade it if you must. Thanks!)

It is promulgated that numerous sports facilities is the desirable way of maximizing and promoting public health. However, others would suggest it is less beneficial to their health and that certain schemes would rather be helpful and necessary.

Through having a multitude of sports facilities, the public would be encouraged to employ themselves on physical fitness activities. For example in a fitness gym, whereby the people can have a convenient time in exercising especially with the reinforcement of physical instructors. In addition, despite any weather conditions, people will be determined to have a work-out at their own preferred schedules.

On the other hand, not only these sports facilities are the key to a healthy lifestyle. Nowadays, several ways and tips in promoting good health is advocated by some health professionals. One of these is a healthy diet. Eating the right food everyday that contains the vital nutrients needed by the human body plays a huge part in a healthy living. Moreover, physical exercise like jogging, brisk walking, doing simple household chores are one of the examples in avoiding a sedentary lifestyle, thereby optimizing a balanced and a physically fit lifestyle.

Contrary to the sports facilities alone, its place of proximity to the public would be a hindrance in getting there on a regular basis. Some facilities would even impose fees on the public for the utilization of such fitness and sports establishments.

Therefore, employing the other methods of optimizing health such as a healthy diet and adequate exercises would be a much preferable way since it is feasible, affordable and applicable to the public as a whole.