Writing Feedback / Fatherhood should be as present as motherhood in a child's life starting from the the birth - IELTS [5]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up."

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's world, having and raising children can be a very difficult task for families, the smallest component of the society. While mother's role is essential in a child's life, I completely agree with the idea that fatherhood is a as vital part of a healty parantage as much as motherhood.

The first reason why the father's role should be equal to the mother's role is the nature of parantage. In my view, the role models within a family play a significant role in the development of the child's characteristics. For example, in a traditional Turkish family, while a mother has a sincere and thoughtful approach to the child, a father role must be present as authoritarian and conversative to raise a well-behaved child.

The second reason why I believe that fatherood is as important as motherhood is the dynamics of the relationships today. In my opinion, we are living in a society that puts a significant importance to gender equality in every aspect of the life, including relationships. For instance, a family formed by a woman with a housewife role who looks after the home and takes care of children and a man who brings money home can not be seen anymore in today's society. Instead, all of the couple duties are performed equally and interchangeably by individuals. Therefore, I believe that having and raising children should not be different than any other daily activity.

In conclusion, fatherhood should be as present as motherhood in a child's life starting from the the birth due to providing appropriate parenthood and having healthy family relationships.

Word count: 264

Thank you so much for valuable feedbacks! The essay is from Cambridge IELTS Book 2 > Test 1 > Writing Task 2. Could you please also tell me how much marks should I get with this essay out of 9?

Writing Feedback / 'Television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items'; "Consumer Durables"; IELTS [5]

The table belows (attached) shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The table chart illustrates the figures for durable goods bought by British consumers over a period of 11 years.

According to the table, well over 85% of houses had television and vacuum cleaner between 1972 and 1978 while only around 55% of households equipped with heating and telephone. During the same period, the number of houses with refrigerator and washing machine rose noticeably to 91% and 75% respectively. Lastly, only a few houses in Britain had dishwasher at the end of year 1978.

During 197 and 1983, the figures for central heating and telephone kept increasing by around 15% while almost all the houses equipped with television, refrigeratorand vacuum cleaner. Over a period of 4 years, the percentage of houses with washing machine increased to 80% as only %5 of houses had dishwasher. Furthermore, video was introduced to market and bought by 18% of houses in Britain in 1983.

In conclusion, television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items however dishwasher and video did not receive the same attention from British customers between 1972 and 1983.

Word count:179

I would be most obliged if you could provide me feedback & a possible band score. Thanks.

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