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Posts by moow77
Name: Char,Yeh
Joined: Nov 2, 2014
Last Post: Nov 3, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
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Displayed posts: 6
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moow77   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Drivers have to pay a fee for driving in busy city streets when there is a great amount of traffic. [2]

Hi all, please help me check my essay and give me some feedback, thank you.

[Essay]
With the rapid development of society, there are an increasing numbers of people who are concern about whether government should charge certain drivers for the using of heaving-traffic roads. Some people assert that this policy is unreasonable, while others have a positive attitude toward it. Despite many diversified opinions aired by diverse people basing on their own stances, there can be no doubt that this policy can bring us several advantages as below.

First of all, moderately charging drivers driving in busy streets can regular the traffic amount in the area and the people living there will enjoy better life quality. If government asked drivers to pay for using heavier-traffic roads, some drivers would start to find alternatives to avoid being charging. Parts of them may choose new routes to reach their destinations, while others would like to take public transportation instead of driving cars, such as buses, metros and trains. These convenient transportation not only can carry passengers swiftly to their goals, but also are environmental friendly because of less exhaust and noise pollution. As a result, both the problem of heavy traffic and living quality of neighbor area will be improved. The inhabitants living there would enjoy a quieter and securer living space.

Another reason worth mentioning is that the drivers can benefits from the money they been charged. When government receives the money from the drivers, it will be able to improve heavy traffic in various methods. For example, government can broaden original roads or build new ones, which will create higher capacity to contain more cars. It also can expand new subway or metro stations attracting more people to use transportation. With these public constructions, the chance of hitting traffic jams would be greatly decreased and the drivers can obtain comfortable driving experience. There is no gainsaying that this policy should be given more mature consideration by the government.

By and large, after taking all aspect into consideration, I hold that charging money from the drivers using heavy-traffic roads can efficiently regular local traffic and improve their driving experiences. Therefore, it is not an exaggeration to say that our government should put more effort on this policy to make citizens' life more convenient.
moow77   
Nov 3, 2014
Undergraduate / Dreams and Ambition - TOPIC C APPLY TEXAS [3]

Hi fizzadavwa :
Congratulating being a wonderful teacher, here's my little modification for one of sentences in your article.
--> I began seeingregarding teaching as a career my freshman year in high school.

Besides, "consumed with" in following sentence is weird to me.
--> Seeing the smile of innocent souls consumed with love is incredible.
moow77   
Nov 3, 2014
Writing Feedback / Saving some lands! Ultimately, animals will be our number one priority [3]

Hi Vns9x:

I would like to adjust the structure of 2nd paragraph as below:

Sooner or later, human will begin to take care of endangered species on this planet. However,although we are still a long way before reaching that point, since we as human beings tend to think about ourselves first. It is perfectly understandable because that is our first natural instinct. In other words, there is no point for us to save animals while we are starving. However, despiteDespite this possibility, I have a strong belief that when we all will be able to reach to the point, which is looking after endangered species, we will have to possess some lands in order to maintain all those precious animals. Imagine yourself if you overcame the poverty, then your most likely move is to think about others, especially, animals. Hence, having a free land would solve the issue because animals need to dwell somewhere that similar to their habitats, otherwise, they will be dying out.
moow77   
Nov 2, 2014
Writing Feedback / Study 11 months a year can improve students' efficiency in learning much better than long-time learn [4]

Hi guys, here is my essay. Please give me any feedback and suggestion, thank you.

[Essay]
With the rapid development of society, more and more people concerned about how to make education better and efficient. Some people state that students should invent amount of time in learning, while others have a negative attitude toward this proposal. Despite diversified opinions aired by diverse people basing on their own stances, there can be no doubt that spending long time studying is not a good way to improve education quality for students.

First of all, students should contact with outside world, which ensures their knowledge and skills are useful for their works in the future. It is true for most of students that attending school is get well prepared for the work in the future. Therefore, properly contacting with outside world is an efficient way to examine whether their knowledge and skills learning in school can be applied to works. With involving in interns, part-time jobs and other activities, students can realize which knowledge and skills are crucial for the work. If they, as a part time job workers or interns, find that they lack some skills and knowledge and want to learn more, they would be able to adjust their studying schedule immediately and take relevant courses in following semesters. All in all, contacting with outside world makes students accumulating practical and meaningful knowledge in a short period.

Another reason worth mentioning is that proper rest can increase learning efficiency much more than long-time studying. Since students in school sat in front of desks for a long time and put large effort into learning, they should have a proper rest to relieve the stresses accumulated on their schoolwork. For example, they can go back to their hometown to reunion with their families or friends, or can plan a long-distance travel to visit other countries and be exposed to different cultures. These activities are good way for students to free their minds from stresses and demands of schoolwork. They also can obtain enough time to refresh their thinking and recover energy needed to learning. In the contrary, if students spend a great deal of time studying without taking break, their stresses may not be reduces effectively, which would have negative influence on their learning.

By and large, after taking all aspects into consideration, I hold that students should properly expose to outside world and involve in various activities. Since these methods can improve students' efficiency in learning much better than long-time studying, schools should consider them as one of crucial policies rather than merely increasing students' learning time.
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