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Posts by zigolf
Name: chawapon chalisarapong
Joined: Nov 5, 2014
Last Post: Dec 13, 2014
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
Likes: 1
From: Thailand

Displayed posts: 5
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zigolf   
Dec 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / Ethical obligation forces our conscious to live to be worthy of trust. IELTS [3]

Paragraph 1
"Many say that success will come and go, but integrity is forever."
- the comma should be eliminated.

Paragraph 3
"the social status and material possessions because, we want to be benefitted by their influence."
- the comma should be eliminated.
- "want to be benefitted" sounds strange. I'm not sure how to make it better. I think it may be these below.
'the social status and material possessions because we want getting some benefits through their influence."

Your language is good but paragraphing is not well-organised.
1st paragraph should introduce the essay with integrating all main ideas in short description.
But from my reading, that paragraph is telling about only trust, not what do you agree or disagree with the opinion.

Then, 2nd and 3rd paragraph ... you will say about main idea 1, main ideal 2, ... respectively.

Lastly, your ending paragraph is ok.
zigolf   
Dec 13, 2014
Writing Feedback / To speak a foreign language well, you need to adopt some of their traditions. - IELTS [2]

In order to speak a foreign language well, you need to adapt to the culture of people who speak that language, and adopt some of their traditions.

To what extent do you agree with this statement?


In this globalized era, people spoke or started to speak more than their mother tongue. Some individuals suggest being competent at the second or third language could come from absorbing foreign traditions. Likewise, I also agree with this idea. This essay will discuss this issue.

Clearly, connotation is an essential feature that cannot be learnt by books or taking a class. A good example is the word buffalo. This word is likely to represent power or endurance in western countries. However, it implies to be dumb or blunt in Thai tradition. Hence, if someone gives a compliment with this word to Thai people, this people would break the relationship with these Thais.

Similarly, using language proficiently usually includes the understanding of a real meaning which differs its physical meaning. To illustrate, people in several far eastern countries usually do not deny directly by beating around the bush. Consequently, western individuals who frequently speak directly may be tired repetitively to ask for help from far eastern people. Because they do not know they should stop.

Lastly, having advanced skills of a language relies on not only reading and speaking with a wide range of vocabulary and grammar, but also immediate interaction. Responding rapidly is necessary to think in that language in the head. To achieve this ability, taking that tradition and culture in can help. For instance, many Thai students have an incredible improvement of English language when they study in American or Britain.

Therefore, I agree that absorption of foreign tradition is a crucial key to considerably gain the language skills. Although it sounds pretty tough, there are many ways to reach this practice such as watching movies or taking overseas vacations. As a result, people can have great skills of the language easily and enjoyably.
zigolf   
Nov 27, 2014
Writing Feedback / An intelligent audience watching TV acquire positive sides from it - the perception is important [2]

gaps between families has increases

"They say, population relationships was more strengther than today, because they had more recreation customs which needs presence in a groups and were less technology dependent. But nowadays with existence of TV series, Talk shows, sitcom, people tend to pass their free time in watching them so gaps between families are increasing ."

-> This sentence contains many ideas. Dividing it would be easier and more smooth to understand.
-> The last sentence had a verb agreement error and sound not natural. I think "are increasing." would be better. <<< i guess (^o^)

"which happened in the world."
" in order to its like chain connecting/connected to their life."
zigolf   
Nov 27, 2014
Undergraduate / I am only the person I make myself to be, not the person that other people say I am. UW entry essay [2]

want to make a big deal about it-she did not want us to be known as snitches for the rest of high school. A few months passed, and I was dating

Your depiction is great, associated with your wording.
One thing that i think you will be more better is paragraphing.

I reckon that you trying to keep one main idea to one paragraph.
But the 1st paragraph is really too long and effects readers.
From my view, it can be separated into 2 or 3 paragraphs.
1. Before university 2. In university
or
1. Before university 2. First year 3. Second year
zigolf   
Nov 6, 2014
Writing Feedback / IELTS: What is the most happy age between teenage and adult. Discuss both views. [5]

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A popular topic talked about by people in all walks of life is which is the most enjoyable age. Some people say that it is school life whereas others prefer mature life. This essay will discuss both of these responses. However, in my opinion, adult age outweigh adolescent age.

Regarding the young age, clearly its advantages come mainly from the low degree of responsibilities. First, people in this range do not work. As a result, they are far from being stressed out. Take daily life as an example, they arrive at homes from schools early leading to have a great amount of leisure time, unlike adults who tend to have short rest time because of work. In addition, due to their parent's support, these juveniles have only few things to be concerned about. To illustrate, when they get ill, they could stay on beds, because their parents will look after them. Therefore, they are likely to have a great number of pleasant days.

On the other hand, although they are responsible for a variety of tasks, people in working age have two major benefits. Obviously, they earn money for themselves causing them to be able to afford more favorite items. A good example is expensive toys which could not be had in the past because parents though they were extravagant. They can buy it easily when they work. Similarly, adults are likely to be independent from any ones, particularly parents. Thus, they can do what they are keen on without limitations. For instance, sport lovers can come home very late in order to do exercise for long hours. This situation would be difficult to happen if they were children.

To conclude, it is unfair to claim any side as a totally correct answer, because this is a subjective question. However, I missed several things in the past resulting from my parent's strictness. Hence, I prefer mature time to teenager's.
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