Undergraduate / "I can now run a mile in 5 minutes in 30 seconds." - COMMON APP [2]

Please don't be afraid to correct me on my grammar. Always open to suggests! Thanks

PROMPT Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Essay: Rough Draft #3
My feet pound against the pavement. With each step I take, the pain in my legs grows worse. I try to breathe, but no amount of air can satisfy me. The alarm on my phone goes off, and I stop moving. My lungs begin to fill with air, and my legs go numb. Starring at my phone, I try to articulate its meaning out loud. " 5 minutes and 30 seconds. I can now run a mile in 5 minutes in 30 seconds." I sit down before my next exercise. I am in pain. I am tired.I am happy.

In my life, when I need a getaway, my go to place is the gym. When I'm there it seems as if the world around me has stopped. For a brief moment, all my troubles are gone and life becomes incredibly simple. I have my weights, I have my machines, I have my goal, and nothing can compare to the feeling of euphoria and adrenaline.

My first hesitant step in the gym was both a feat of courage and of necessity. At the time I was under a lot of stress that was causing both mental and physical problem. Physically, when I am under stress I clench my mouth, which damages the roof of my mouth. Mentally, it was affecting my academics. When I went to go see my doctor about it, she recommended exercise as a way to alleviate it. However, what started out as a way to alleviate stress quickly turned to a getaway from it. For an individual such as myself, the stress of academics, social, and home life obligations can feel overwhelming and suffocating at times. When I am at the gym this pressure is lifted off my shoulders. Ironically I can say that I feel I can breathe better when I'm gasping for air in a workout. Along with this, my tendency to over complicate things causes me to lose focus of my goals. While I am at the gym, my mind refreshes and allows me to take a step back and view if my actions are contributing to me obtaining my goals.

I feel no shame in saying that the gym has become a second home to me. In my experience with homelessness the most nefarious feeling is that of its overwhelming sense of loneliness. It's absence was only found in the gym. For reasons other generosity the staff members and owner waived my subscription fee and offered me a job to aid with payments. These act alone I found to be momentous but what I consider of greater value were the tested bonds from my fellow gym mates and instructors. At this time, the people I considered close to me failed even acknowledge my existence. I felt utterly alone, and consequently found myself spending long periods of time in my sanctuary. The close friendships that I have formed with my gym mates caused them to noticed this and addressed me at it. I reluctantly told them of what I was experiencing and rather than being casted aside like so many have done, they chose to stand by me. They showed me no sympathy. Outside the gym, I often felt that my forehead was labeled with " handle with care" by those who knew me but this wasn't the case at the gym. They pushed me harder than ever before to show me what I can endure. With this endurance, I knew that I could get past this difficult time.

When I first walked into the gym, my initial thought was that I fulfilling another mundane health obligation. Instead I found something of much greater value. When the stresses of my life pile upon my shoulders I know, I have a place to run to. It may not be the most exciting or pleasant place at times but what home truly is.

Undergraduate / In pain and tired, but happy - the gym has become one of the most meaningful places for me [2]

This is a rough draft so please excuse any errors. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated! It's my second go from a previous common app question.

Thanks again guys

PROMPT: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Essay:
My feet pound against the pavement. With each forward step I take, the pain in my legs get worst. I try to breathe through it but no amount of air ever satisfies. Then all of sudden the alarm on phone goes off and my legs begin to stop moving. My lungs begin to fill with air again and my legs go numb. I look at my phone and try to articulate its meaning out loud. " 5 minutes and 30 seconds" I say to myself, " I can now run a mile in 5 minutes in 30 seconds." I sit down before I move on to my next exercise. I am in pain I am tired I am happy

In my life, when I need a getaway, I go to the gym. When I'm in the gym the world around me stops. For a brief moment, all my troubles are gone and life becomes incredibly simple. I have my weights, I have my machines, I have my goal, and nothing can compare to the feeling of euphoria and adrenaline.

My first hesitant step in the gym was both a feat of courage and of necessity. At the time I was under a lot of stress that was causing both mental and physical problem. Physically, when I am under stress I clench my mouth, which damages the roof of my mouth. Mentally, it was effecting my academics. When I went to go see my doctor about it, she recommended exercise as a way to alleviate it. What started out, however, as a way to alleviate stress quickly turned to a getaway from it. For an individual such as myself, the stress of academics, social, and home life obligations can feel overwhelming and suffocating at times. When I am the gym this pressure is lifted off my shoulders. Ironically I feel I can breathe better when I'm gasping for air in a workout. Along with this, I have a tendency to over complicate things within my life, adding more to stress. The gym simplistic manner makes it impossible for the complicate it and allows me to stay focused.

Along with being my getaway, the gym has become one the most meaningful places for me. For a short time, I was homeless and with little sense of belonging. The gym gave me a sense of community when I needed most. I was immersed with like minded people, who accepted me as I was and aided me obtaining my goals. I was offered a job to aid with payments. They waived my monthly subscription until I could be back in feet. More importantly though, they gave me a family when I had none around. The people at my gym mean the world to me, and although I can never repay them for there generosity, I will always cherish the time I am with them.

People often fail to recognize the potential in something due to its difficulty or complexity. I am glad that I was able use the gym to its fullest potential. Working out will only and always be what you make out to be, and for me it was a lot more than another mundane health obligation.

Undergraduate / Until recently I have never discussed my reasons or motivations for my attendance at my local gym [2]

I was wondering if you guys could give me some feedback on my common app essay! I answered question 4. I feel as if I ran off in a tangent. And advice and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! I am horrible in grammar also, so please point out any errors!

P.S I understand I should try to avoid adding to much information, but I wanted to mention the homeless thing because It caused me to change schools in the middle of senior year.

PROMPT:

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

ESSAY:

Until recently I have never discussed my reasons or motivations for my attendance at my local gym. People have often assumed that it's sport, health, or worst self confidence related to my persistence in it. But with recent events, I have demonstrated that it more than this and the discussion in particular fruitful

This past May, I was questioned by my fitness instructor in front of my gym mates as to my intentions of joining a Cardio program. My response got me a discern look by fellow gym mates. My apparent response to such question, " because I love to workout" was distasteful, that putting my body through this physical torture could not equate to such a response. I sat back down and reminded myself that I was once in their position. Although I could lift more weights, run faster then them and was possibly in the best shape of my life, this program got particularly high reviews and I didn't mind shedding some of the belly fat

The program was set to run for 4 weeks, and the gym was convenient to my location and dilemma. At the time, I was homeless staying at my aunt while my parents continued to live in New Hampshire. Alongside dealing with a whirlwind of problems ranging from family and friends issues to my academics. The gym was my sanctuary, a place where my issues stayed outside the door for the next 2 hours. A place where everything was fair. A place where I was surrounded by like minded people.

I didn't not understand how meaningful such a place was to me until I was undoubtedly relying on it to get through the week. When I look at it now, it seems that with every push life gives me I would push twice as hard in the gym. And because of this I often say that the gym has built me more mentally rather physically. Along with being my safe haven, the gym became one my greatest teachers. It taught me courage, to admit that I was significantly weaker than those around me, and showed me what persistence and determination can accomplish. It has taught me that hard work does ultimately pay off. More importantly though, It has taught me that self confidence is not found in the weights but drawn from within.

Ronnie Coleman once said to envision your self obtaining your goal while your at the gym. I soon, however, found my self envisioning obtaining more than just my gym goals. Since English was not my first language, I often found difficultly in it. For this I lacked the spirit to improve and challenge to overcome what my classmates could accomplish with ease. Without a push I found myself stuck with a mediocre style english with little room to express myself. As I began to to challenge myself in the gym, I challenged this as well. I soon found myself tested out of the ESL program, and later to take an AP english class. I began envisioning myself being the first person in my family to go to college, and began to prompt myself for that day. I began eating healthy, to improve and live a healthy lifestyle. I began to speak out against bullying and fight for social equality, because i too was once considered inferior. Along with this, I found the courage to make difficult decisions, that I once thought were impossible.

People often fail to recognize the potential in something due to its difficulty or complexity. I am glad, although I did not originally recognize it, that I was able to see the potential in growth from the gym. Working out will only and always be what you make out to be, and for me it was a lot more than another mundane health obligation.