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Posts by huzefaa
Name: Huzefa Saifee
Joined: Jan 7, 2015
Last Post: Jan 10, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 18  
From: United Arab Emirates
School: Dubai Gem

Displayed posts: 20
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huzefaa   
Jan 10, 2015
Scholarship / Scholarship essay: why I'm choosing APU for my further educational needs [4]

Few grammatical errors need to be corrected
Content is very nice ! but if you couldnt state them as reasons and bullet points (like in first para) and just explain your reasons in different paras without bullet points it would look much better

kudos!
huzefaa   
Jan 10, 2015
Undergraduate / Wrote about Trip to Italy, made me want to be independent.. Common app essay - Background story [6]

What kind of a child are you when you receive ten phone calls per hour from your mother when you're out, have immense pressure to do well academically, are the focus of all your parent's attention, and have no one to blame when you get

into trouble?
Yes that's right, an only child.

I have always craved independence, but my conservative family made it quite difficult for me to indulge in any kind of liberation. Then came along a very exciting opportunity: a trip to Italy for the seniors of our school. Not only was I excited but also heartbroken at the same moment because I was quite sure my over protective mother would not let me go, and just thinking of all my friends going, leaving me behind, saddened me deeply. But with daring optimism I presented to my mother the form for our trip and she said 'sounds fun, you should go'.

On this trip I discovered a whole new side to myself. A version of me not under the shadow of my parents but open to the world without a filter screen. All on my own, I learned and experienced more than I ever had before. Every day was a new challenge, and overcoming it was an adventure not a hassle of some sort. Although previously never being able to tie my own shoelaces, I somehow managed to put in an efficient knot every morning before leaving the hotel. By the last day I had perfected the art of tying shoe laces. This just serves as an example of what I could accomplish on my own with enough perseverance and dedication. Previously I had never put in the effort to attempt anything within the realms of unknown territory and resorted to the help of my parents, but after this experience I wanted to find out what were my capabilities , what I could achieve on my own. Even after returning to Dubai I always wondered what it would be like be all myself again. Being out of my comfort zone is what pushed me to work to the extent of my potential. Being my own boss, the liberty, the freedom was the most exhilarating experience I had ever felt, but it all came for a price-responsibility.

This was a feeling I didn't want to let go which led me to the decision of studying abroad. I started working harder for school, strove to be a better son and student alike and did whatever I had to, in order to make this dream come true. I had the privilege

of experiencing the idea of life from a completely new perspective, in an entirely new situation and didn't want to limit these instances to such a sleek frame of time; I wanted it for the long haul.

To do justice to my dream, I wish to study in the USA; where I could obtain a world class education from the best of institutions, engage in new activities which might not be available elsewhere, be closer to exciting opportunities and also make new friendships along the way.

@vangiespen Thank you so much for the help, this is what ive come up with, ive replaced the 3rd 4th and 5th para with the new paragraph i wrote, please tell me if this is adequate or i should add more from my previous essay, or add more to my new para

My deadline is in 6-7 hours, eagerly waiting for your reply
huzefaa   
Jan 9, 2015
Undergraduate / Family in Atlanta? Then upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is. [12]

The highly praised program of aerospace engineering is probably what inclined me towards Georgia tech the most. I had always thought that I would need a factory to manufacture anything mechanical, but the resources present at Georgia Tech; equipment such as wind tunnels and other cutting edge technology; are enough to provide me with the resources to experiment and get the most out of my learning process. Furthermore, with a sizeable community of diverse international students, I'm pretty sure I won't feel homesick or like an anomaly amongst other students; something I was concerned about before considering studying abroad. With an extensive and highly revered set of engineering programs, accompanied by a wide range of interactive clubs and activities to aid students in the learning process; opportunities such as these are hard to find elsewhere. Complemented by master's degrees which can be completed as dual programs with universities abroad, a unique exposure such as this is just the experience I am craving for. As goes for the institute's widely known reputation of rigorous and demanding learning courses, I think it shall be the correct atmosphere for me to get out of my comfort zone and push myself to the height of my potential. Looking forward to being a Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech!

This is my final version @vangiespen . Thank you for all the advice! Please help me with bringing the word count down, i am planning to submit my application within the next few hours. Eagerly waiting for your reply
huzefaa   
Jan 9, 2015
Undergraduate / Family in Atlanta? Then upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is. [12]

@vangiespen ,
this is what i thought id add
The highly praised program of aerospace engineering is probably what inclined me towards Georgia tech the most. Id always thought that I would need a factory to manufacture anything mechanical, but the resources present at Georgia Tech; such as wind tunnels and smoke screen visualizations; are enough to provide me with the resources to experiment and get the most out of my learning process.
huzefaa   
Jan 8, 2015
Undergraduate / Wrote about Trip to Italy, made me want to be independent.. Common app essay - Background story [6]

PROMPT : Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would
be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.


Fun fact; what kind of a child are you when you receive ten phone calls per hour from your mom when you're out, have

immense pressure to do well academically, are the focus of all your parent's attention, and have no one to blame when you get
into trouble?
Yes that's right, an only child.
[...]
huzefaa   
Jan 8, 2015
Scholarship / I have learned that life in this world is not fair, things don't happened the exact way we wanted. [2]

I have learned that life in this world is not fair, things don't happen the exact way we wanted. Everyone has a challenge to face, and personally I had to face a lot of difficulty in my life. There are many reasons to says life is not fair such as our love one passed away, someone treats us unfairly, and the list could go on and on. I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances, because I know that no matter what happens, God is in control.

There are a lot of crisis' I encountered individually, the most painful one is when the first time I went to school in United States. At the age of 10, I startedat my first school in America without knowing any English, and not knowing any of their lifestyle. I really struggled in class everyday, yes there are times when I got bullied and cried , they made fun of me because I am a foreigner and didn't know any English. Whatsoever, as days went on I understood that in order to success in life you must face all the hard situations , and then you succeed .

The other challenge I faced is a financial one , there are many times I hadto control myself by not getting what I wanted because of my family budget. Sometime there was a time when my family was in a situation when they didnt have any money to pay for our bills. I have learned many life lessons by experiencing this kind of a situation. I gained knowledge that without having any degree or getting a professional job money doesn't come easily so it made me want to work more hard to continue on my education.

Finally, I had a lot of challenges that was related to school or academics. I must admit that I am not a bright or really smart person compared with other's as a result, there was a time when I had a hard time keeping up with my grade. Nevertheless, I must work hard no matter what happens and not giving up until i reach my final destination.. Everyday I motivate myself to put a lot of effort in my school work.

As was previously stated, all the challenges I mentioned above built my character and helped me become wiser. The temporary crisis I face won't change my mind from the goal I set for the permanent. Instead it made me want to work harder because I realized life without education is pointless.

corrected mistakes ,pointed out in red till second paragraph. from then on wards corrected mistakes but didn't highlight in red(was a tedious job to highlight)
huzefaa   
Jan 8, 2015
Undergraduate / Family in Atlanta? Then upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is. [12]

Thank you so much for the feedback! I wanted to write my essay based on my engineering major but couldn't find sufficient information regarding aerospace engineering besides the fact that the aerospace engineering ranking of georgia tech is ranked first on a national level. Although i found information about a research institute dedicated to aerospace in georgia tech, i couldnt decide what exactly to write from the huge amount of information available and if i did i would,ve easily crossed my word limit. As goes for internships, i couldnt find much information either.
huzefaa   
Jan 7, 2015
Undergraduate / Family in Atlanta? Then upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is. [12]

Beyond rankings, location, and athletics, why are you interested in attending Georgia Tech?

Initially inclined to Georgia Tech due to existing family in Atlanta, upon research I discovered what an amazing institute Georgia tech is. With a sizeable community of diverse international students, I'm pretty sure I won't feel homesick or like an anomaly amongst other students; something I was concerned about before considering studying abroad.

[...]
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