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Posts by ajreyes
Name: ajreyes
Joined: Feb 4, 2015
Last Post: Feb 8, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Philippines
School: wvsu

Displayed posts: 5
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ajreyes   
Feb 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Both transportation stakeholders and commuters should participate in solving traffic problem [2]

You have very good points and examples indicated in your essay. For me what you need to improve is your organization skills. Your thesis needs supporting topic sentences for your main body paragraphs. I think your thesis:both government and individuals play an important aspect...[i]is not supported by your statement: [i]the only essential way to tackle this..[i]. overall, I think you can get a score of 7 and above for this. Just keep practicing!
ajreyes   
Feb 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / The present way of preparing food has helped consumers to save time, effort and money. [2]

IELTS WT2: Nowadays food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improve the way people live?

Over the past decade, food industry had tremendous growth and improvement. Along with the advancement of technology, food preparation had been a far less concern of people. I would argue that this transformation positively affects the lives of people.

Lesser time spent on food preparation provides several reasons for a person to be glad for. First of all, ready-to-cook meals may not be as nutritious as to traditionally cooked food, however, this fast paced prepared food is a one sure way to help busy people in sustaining their day ahead without sacrificing much effort and time in preparing their meal. Dur to this, more time is dedicated to activities like filling in their duties as responsible parents,like having time to fetch their child at school or attending important events vital to their loved ones. Moreover, people who usually go to restaurants need not wait for an hour or longer, especially if they are in a hurry. They can simply buy meals that are easy to prepare if they wanted to avoid this. It is obvious from this that people, especially those time-constraints workers, benefited much to this food innovation.

In addition to this, people who cook food for their families will find it more efficient compared to the latter food preparation practices. Before, mothers are ambiguous to cook foreign cuisines with complicated recipes because of its high cost and unavailability of some ingredients. Presently, they can just go to the nearest convenience store and buy prepared packages. Aside from saving more time and effort, they are saved from spending their money in buying condiments and 'rare-to-find' ingredients. It is expected that these packages will be a lot cheaper.

To conclude, it seems to me that the present way of preparing food has helped consumers to save time, effort and money. This is a much welcomed and positive change that definitely helped our life better.
ajreyes   
Feb 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Overall, transportation, housing, and food were the underlying utilities of all four countries. [3]

I think it will be very helpful if you attach the line graph. But I have some helpful tips for you to improve your essay.

Paragraph 1: Introduction explaining what the graph is all about + the trend/category that outstand the others.
Para 2: main body paragraph explaining the trends (increasing/decreasing/fluctuating)
Para 3: main body paragraph with comparing/contrast

just a suggestion for your essay to be more organized. hope this helps.thanks
ajreyes   
Feb 8, 2015
Writing Feedback / Books have always been read by many individuals since they can provide you with abundant knowledge [3]

You have fairly good points in defending your opinion. If this is for an ielts exam, my advice is to answer the question directly, always start the paragraph with a simple topic sentence and refrain from introducing another support idea in your conclusion paragraph. (3-4sentences for the introduction and 2 sentences for the conclusion is enough to explain your points with coherence)... You do have a wide range of vocabulary, so keep it up!

Please leave some comments on my threads too.
ajreyes   
Feb 5, 2015
Writing Feedback / Trees are utilized in making paper and wood products, water is source of energy - natural resources [2]

Task: The overuse of natural resources causes an ultimate exhaust of them. People have been using them to be in swim of new styles such as making new furniture of recent design. This causes a huge harm to the environment. Therefore, government should discourage people the overuse of these resources.

Our natural resources like trees are utilized in making paper and wood products, water as source of energy and a lot more. It is evident that there are some companies that place exaggeration in using organic resources to fill-in the demands of what is fashionable and currently on the trend. Such this situation often leads to unjustifiable use of our resourcesnleading to big danger in our environment. In order to address this, I would argue that government should take steps to eradicate this environmental threat.

First of all, the government can use the nation's budget to programs or institutions that are against over-usage of our natural resources. For an instance, the government should honor researchers and scientists who can discover alternative materials in replacement of the organics. If there is financial support from the government, more innovators will arise and share their best ideas. As this shows, the government empowers unworthy manufacture of nature products.

In addition to this, the government can dissuade the people by influencing them as consumers. An instance illustrating this in action is by disseminating environmental reminders through advertisements on television, newspaper ads or social network sites. Through this, prospective buyers will choose products made up of artificial materials rather than natural raw materials. the public will be influenced based on their knowledge of what is more advantageous to our nature. This will lead more companies to be more vigilant in terms of overusing products coming from our nature.

To conclude, elected officials can take on a huge part in empowering every individual leading private sectors to regulate the usage of our natural resources. Thus, it is recommended that every individual, as consumers, should be wiser and responsible in choosing a product that is more Eco-friendly than selecting the contrary.
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