Undergraduate / Why Knox? -Knox College and experiential learning- [4]

Please comment and/or correct errors.

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Why Knox? (100-300 words)

"Knox is where human beings gather and experience stuff," said Joshua Forchau, an international admission officer, at the Grew Bancroft symposium in Tokyo. Those simple words made me feel that Knox College was where I should spend my next four years.

I wish to continue and grow my educational experiences and I believe that Knox College is the right choice for me.
Being born and raised in Japan, I had lived in a homogeneous community. Almost all people are Japanese and speak only Japanese. My twelve years of education at Japanese public schools was mostly sitting is a classroom and listening to teachers. That was until I spend my Junior year of high school in Connecticut.

For the first time in my life, I experienced what it's like to be in a diverse environment. I love interacting with people from the other side of the planet. I learned so much more than I could ever obtain from any books by talking with people from different backgrounds. Yes, education is something you also go out and experience for yourself.

Now that I know how crucial it is to learn through experiences and real human interactions, I'm sure Knox College is the right choice for me. There are not many liberal arts colleges that promote experiential learning as much as Knox College.

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Thank you in advance!

Undergraduate / Wesleyan Supplement - practical value of a liberal arts education - [4]

Wesleyan President Michael Roth believes a liberal arts education is a pragmatic choice in these times. In what way do you see a liberal arts education having practical value?

(250 words or less)

Nowadays, people around the world are connected with each other through the Internet, and we need to cooperate with people from different backgrounds. In this global society, we can't help dealing with cultural/social complexity, diversity, and changes. I believe a liberal arts and sciences education is the most practical choice to be successful in this rapidly changing society.

Some of the skills that a liberal arts and sciences education fosters are critical, analytical, and creative thinking skills, teamwork, the ability to communicate effectively, and ethical decision-making skills. They are essential for us to survive in our uncertain and changing society because you need to think and make decisions in order to find and solve problems. The mastery of a wide range of intellectual and cultural experiences will nurture multiple approaches to their solutions.

For example, if I was promoted to a manager from an engineer, some practices in psychology (not to mention math and science) may play a significant role. I think a liberal arts and sciences education is especially suitable for leaders in the future because it fosters well-rounded characters.

A liberal arts and sciences education also provides a foundation for learning in every professional field. In order to learn something, you have to be able to think critically and communicate effectively.

This is how I see a liberal arts and sciences education having practical value.

(227 words)

Thank you for reading my essay! Please comment and/or fix my errors.

Undergraduate / The moment I opened up myself. -overcoming autism- [5]

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

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The moment I opened up myself. -overcoming autism-

"Any ideas? What do you think?"

"Shuto! You gotta dance with us!"

"The midterm is a discussion style."

"Prepare for your presentation next week."

I had constantly faced situations that I needed to reveal myself during my one-year exchange program in Connecticut. In Japan, I didn't have to express myself. All I had to do as a student was to listen to teachers quietly. No one is expected to speak out. No one cares what you think. Moreover, my personal background made this exchange year even harder. Many of my American friends seemed to be never afraid of stating their opinions in front of others. It was time to say goodbye to myself in the past.

Raised in a single mother family, I felt like I had always been forgotten because my mom had to work hard to support our family. I came to close my mind. I hated talking with people. I couldn't stand even a slight change in daily life, all of which are the typical symptoms of autism. I was once panicked at the school trip in fifth grade because I had to spend a night at an unfamiliar place. I was, however, a "good" kid. I pretended to be nice to everyone and listened to my mom and teachers. Since I followed their advice all the time, I earned good grades at middle school and got into one of the top public high schools in Tokyo, but I had never actually made my own decision before.

When I became a junior at the high school, I decided to go to the University of Tokyo, which is the best university in Asia, because my mom and teachers recommended the choice. Still, I didn't have my thoughts for the future even though I was a smart kid, who had a good shot for the entrance exams for top universities in Japan. However, I came to question myself, studying ten hours a day at the library, "What am I studying for? Is all this knowledge going to be my assets in the future? Aren't experiences more important than just knowledge from books?" Then, luckily, I found a study abroad program with a full scholarship. For the first time, I made my own decision to apply to this scholarship, contrary to the "expectations".

During my exchange program, I learned the importance of self-expression. I took many forms to reveal myself to survive in the American culture. I danced at the parties, sang at the church, discussed the future with my friends, performed karate at the talent show, and of course, I did a lot of presentations in each class. As I open up myself, more and more people around me recognized and praised my achievements, saying "Good job Shuto!" People are so supportive that I found myself being confident, which I never had had in life. Though the process was tough for me, I enjoy opening up my mind and can live each moment from my own inspiration, not from desire to meet expectations from others. Other than being a hermit in a quiet library, I learned to go out and have some real experiences. Even I can't believe I used to be autism!

Today, I feel I am in a completely new stage in life. I am not who I was. I am not afraid of making mistakes anymore. I stopped thinking that my ideas don't worth sharing. I love talking with many people from different backgrounds. I'm sure studying in the U.S. was the best decision I have ever made in life because it makes who I am today, writing a college application essay to go back and study again in the country that changed my life.

(628 words)
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Thank you for reading my essay.
Do you think this is still too common and not unique enough? I posted another essay before, so I would appreciate it if you could tell me which one is better.

Any comments/corrections are welcome!

Thank you.

Undergraduate / Keep Moving Forward - my coach words encouraged me. Common Application Essay Prompt 2 [2]

The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

I'm a prospective international student from Japan. Please proofread my essay and give me some feedback. There might be a lot of errors because English is not my first language.

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"Just relax...", I exhaled with my eyes fixed on the hurdles. I could hear my heart beating faster than ever. My hands kept shivering. I couldn't tell if it was from fear or from the insanely cold New England weather (or may be both).

"On your mark! Set...", I put my feet on my favorite starting blocks adjusted perfectly for my position.

Sound waves from a starting pistol reached my eardrums.

With my explosive block start, I was the top runner.

Then, at the second hurdle, I stumbled. I saw a cold blue ground of the track coming close to my face.

I fell... at the last championship. That was my last chance to be qualified for the State Championship.
But I swore to myself, standing up, "I will never ever give up what I started!" I started sprinting again. I was the very last runner to step the goal line. It was at that moment that I had noticed that I awfully failed. It was a very regretful experience, but at the same time, I felt so proud of myself.

Before I left to Connecticut from Tokyo for about eleven months in my junior year, I had made my mind to try anything new to me during the exchange program. I ate pepperoni pizza watching the Super Bowl rooting for New England Patriots, went to Christian church singing gospel music with my host family, and danced with my friends at Home Coming, which doesn't exist in Japan. I really enjoyed the life there. English barely interfered with communication No failures... before I joined the Varsity Track and Field team.

Truth be told, I had never really failed before I started hurdling because I had chosen as safe and stable paths as possible in my life. So I hadn't really neither achieved anything great nor desperately failed. Then I realized that I was one of many "smart" Japanese students who pursue stable careers, avoiding risky paths. That's one of the reasons why I decided to take a risk for the first time in my life even though I was the only one who chose to study abroad among other nine hundred students in my high school. I didn't want to be "one of them" and I thought this huge risk-taking in my life would change me somehow.

When I first tried hurdles, however, I thought I was never going to make it because the height for the boys' hurdles was above my hips. I made excuses and limited myself. I was so scared that I couldn't even take a first step.

("Have I been changed since I came here?")

Then my coach said, "Shuto, it's natural to be afraid of hurdles, but remember, better hurdlers have stumbled and fallen a lot. That's how they get better because they know how to stand up from miserable situations. You gotta keep moving forward!" His words encouraged me and I finally could managed to take the first step and get over the first hurdle. At that moment, I was released from tensions, which had pulled me not to fail, as I "felt" the sense that I thought I "knew" that I would overcome nothing without making mistakes.

After many practices (and falls), the CREC Athletic Championship took place. I can't say I do not regret the result, but I'm certain that I learned more than hurdling. From this experience, I learned the importance of keeping moving forward. Since then, I always try to take action as soon as I can because time doesn't wait for me to stop and think about what I do next. And now I feel that going to a college in the country that changed my life is the right choice for me. No matter what happens in our lives, we should not stop. As my coach says, "Stop stopping!!"

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(649 words)

Thank you for reading! Do you think my essay is unique?