Writing Feedback / IELTS-TASK2 : The causes and solutions of criminal activity. [3]

Each year, the crime rate increase. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity ?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Continuously, a wide range of the crime rates occurs for years. Internal factors of human being and external factors of condition are the causes of this criminal act. In my view, the way to address this problem is by involving a law enforcement and educating humanity values to every stratum of society.

Most of these criminal activities are influenced by pressure condition so that they do not have other choices to be kind people. Someone's living condition, such as unemployment, poverty and lack of unity sense, are very enable the people to have to do anything for survival, even by commiting a crime. Likewise, if the people do not have the humanity morals, it also affects them to convict the criminal act. The awerness of humanity values are not educated by them so that they do not have to think long-term to be criminal. All of this factors can end in the criminal offence.

To tackle these problems, the government must assertively enforce the law in the society. Citizens who intend to commit a crime rate will be horrifying with the sentences. Furthermore, people need to be educated about the humanity morals in order to control their mind and behavior. For example, every week there are some homeless join to some religius events to gain some values about goodness behavior. As a result, they use to try hard making money to fulfill their daily needs without being a convicted criminal.

To sum up, the criminal act does not only come to external factors but sometimes it is caused by people own self. The government must focus on the living condition and humanity values so that the crime rate will decrease immediately.

Writing Feedback / TASK2: Computer games may bring negative effect for children. In reverse, these games are valuable. [2]

It is argued that computer games bring negative impacts for children. In reverse, these games are valuable. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of such games?

The enjoyable computer game is considered to have demerit effects on pupils because it can affect them to be lazy, while others argue that these games have positive effect on children brain to think logically. I believe that the games will be useful since the children play it for sufficient time, but it is bad effect for regular use.

The benefit of playing computer games can sharpen the accuracy thinking of children. In computer games, children tend to use some strategy approaches logically. As far as they play the game to the highest level, so they will be more responsive on instructions immediately. For example, the Clash of Clans as the one of games online teaches people how to defeat the enemies with some effective strategies. I would argue that it is beneficial for the children brain, but it will bring them the sendentary life.

Having said that, the drawback of these computer games is they are likely to ignore some movement activities which are good for keeping health and fit. This is because of the games on the computer can affect them to be addictive when they have to finish the stages. For instance, I started to play the computer games when I was 8 years old, and I felt that the game designs could spend my times in a day long because I was curious to pass the missions. I would state that this negative effect should be overcome by parents to limit them playing games.

In conclusion, the possible way children to train the children's brain is by playing computer games. Meanwhile, it is not good way when they often spend the times on the computer because they will ignore to carry out some heavy activities. I argue that the children should gain a surveillance from their parents in order to restrict them playing games continuously.

Writing Feedback / Ability to save a variety of vocabularies in the brain. Kids learn a foreign language early [NEW]

Some experts believe that is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?

It is argued that children should commence to learning a foreign language in the early age because they have ability to save a variety of vocabularies in the brain. However, the negative side of this is they will be lack of understanding to master the mother language. In my point of view, I prefer to stand on this advantage because the difficulty of mastering local language can be solved by obtaining the language education proportional.

Learning a foreign language in the primary school allows the children to absorb a variety of vocabularies into the brain. This is because the children's brain has a strong memory to remember the range of words that they have. For example, a recent study by Children Research Organisation in California found that the best period to develop a linguistic understanding of the children is in the age of 6 - 12 years old. This effective learning mean that teaching another language to the children earlier can stimulate their ability to master quickly.

Having said that when the children gain the foreign language in the beginning of growth, they can be difficult to master the first language in well structure. Foreign language grammar has different forms with their original language so that both languages can confuse the children to apply in sentences. For instance, The Sindo Newspaper reported that 80 % of primary students in Nusa Bangsa Internasional School acquire an average-score in Indonesian language, while for the English language is in a high score. However, it will not happen since they learn both the local language and foreign language in balance.

All in all, for some scientists regard that the effective way to give children the foreign language learning is in the early age because they have a fresh brain to understand the language. Even though it will be a problem to learn the national language, the one step can overcome this by equal learning in both languages at once. I would suggest that although having ability to speak the foreign language is beneficial for the children, they should not ignore to learn the original language.