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Posts by qamar3811
Name: Qammar abbas
Joined: Nov 19, 2015
Last Post: Dec 1, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 8  
From: Pakistan
School: institute of management studies, peshawar

Displayed posts: 9
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qamar3811   
Dec 1, 2015
Scholarship / 'I developed a slight tendency towards project management.' Mundus Scholarship letter [9]

Vangiespen !

greetings, thanks a lot for your review. I tried apply those changes that you suggested. kindly review this draft and i will appreciate if you point out where I have deviated from the prompt or other mistakes. I thought about first paragraph. I am having a little trouble with that. I have tried a few lines. see if they fit here. kindly, review the overall structure and paragraph formation and recommend me the changes that you feel I should apply to make it a working draft. Regards,

I was first exposed to the concepts of project management in the Undergraduate courses of Business Administration. I developed a keen interest in Project management because it clearly defines a project's deliverable and evaluates risks involved in a given timeline. it divides a given project into the phases of initiation, planning, execution, control and completion. The concepts of time management, change management, risk management and quality management furthered my interest in the subject because they helped me to evaluate risks involved, check quality and overcome the hurdles in the completion of the project in a timeline.

My interest in the subject furthered when I took a job as a research consultant in KPDN (Khyber Pukhtunkhwa Development Network). We worked on project titled 'Promoting Peace in KPK & FATA: Connecting youth and policymakers through mediation and dialogue'. It was a European Union funded project implemented by Search for Common Ground in collaboration with Paiman. Working at KPDN gave me an opportunity to apply the concepts of project management I learned in classroom such as teamwork, leadership, project goals and deliverable, short term and long term objectives and tasks at various phases of project such as planning, implementing and feedback process.

After the completion of the project, I joined the National Assembly of Pakistan under the European Union project "Improving Parliamentary Performance in Pakistan". The project's long term goal was to strengthen the democratic institutions in the country and short term objective was to build capacity of the law makers and supporting staff of the parliament. Tools used to this purpose were training classes, workshops, seminars, interview and brainstorming sessions.

Working in goal oriented projects in a specific timeline enhanced my competitive skills and enabled me to deliver in a work environment with different implementing partners in a timely fashion. I realized that there is a growing demand for project professionals who can formulate and implement strategies for complex programs. What compelled me to take project management as a career path is that it is objective in nature and you always work towards a goal. It is pragmatic and promises to bring some change towards the end. To further enhance my skills as a project manager, I decided to pursue higher studies in the field of strategic project management.

I come from a backward area of kurram agency in Federally administered tribal areas. It lacks basic healthcare and education facilities and is marginalized from the mainstream Pakistan. Coming from a remote village near the Afghan border, I graduated with honors from one the best universities in Pakistan. I have lived in 5 cities, worked 3 jobs at different cities and lived as a boarder for 10 years. I am confident, a team player, goal oriented and always look forward to learn new concepts. I have a passion to learn new languages and speak five languages namely Pashto, urdu ,Panjabi, Persian and English.

My goal is to work in the development sector in FATA and Khyber Pukhtunkhwa. I want to contribute to the development of these marginalized and backward areas. A great effort needs to be done in the fields of health, education, security and awareness to bring it at par with settled areas of the country. It can only be achieved by timely operation of different projects in this region by the government and development partners. There is shortage of professionals which adds to the hindrance in the development process. Skilled people from settled areas are not willing to work in the area, and if they do, they do not have enough understanding of the mountainous terrain and of the psyche of the people living here. If I get this scholarship, It makes me better equipped with the tools and practices of strategic management to apply to attain my goal. Further, it gives me opportunity to learn from the rich culture of Europe. I gives me opportunity to mix with the people of three countries and scholars there. I represent a rich culture, and people will come to know about my viewpoint and therefore help to bridge the cultural gap between the east and west.

Erasmus Mundus scholarship provides me with a unique opportunity to study at three prestigious universities of Europe. Studying there enables me to develop significant range of specialist skills, techniques and practices in the domain of strategic management taught by international scholars. Further,It enables me to conduct master level research and present it in the form of masters thesis. It helps me in developing communication skills and to work efficiently in a variety of tasks in a multicultural environment. It gives me access to international network of knowledge exchange, employment opportunities and partnership arrangements. It gives me opportunity to have access to beginners level Swedish and Italian and improve my understanding of English. Lectures by guest scholars, a chance for internship, case studies and discourse with students and teachers from diverse background provides me with a rare opportunity to learn the core values of strategic management. It gives me a unique exposure to different sub cultures of Europe.
qamar3811   
Nov 22, 2015
Research Papers / DOES CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES DO MORE HARM THAN GOOD [3]

hi Michele, i read your paper and i must say i am impressed. it is a topic that is so near my heart.
at some places i noticed that you have written it informally, it will improve if you use formal language as it is a paper you want to publish.

if you use in-line citation, that will be beneficial if you intend to publish.
and finally, it can be shortened, as it contains many sentences that if you remove those, the theme of your essay will not differ and your writing will appear more pleasant to read.

I hope I am able to help.
qamar3811   
Nov 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / Ease your education with Internet [3]

hi pinky,
i read your essay. i am impressed. it is easy to read and grabs the readers attention. it conveys the message you want to impart. although i noticed that you have used ' can' a little too much. please replace it with some other word or avoid it if can.(here, i used it).

for instance
internet facilitates the education....
other than that it is a well written peace I may say.
qamar3811   
Nov 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / Teaching method will not exist in 2050, agree or disagree? Ielts task 2. [3]

hi ahmad,
try to be more objective in your writing. this peace is full of ambiguity and grammatical errors. it does not convey your message clearly.
over the recent years, a rise in the speculative ideas regarding education is noted. Plenty of people predict that education process with a teacher and students in a classroom will disappear by 2050. This paper partly agrees with the statement. Although there are many factors, perhaps some people may leave the system, but learning process in school will still be a major choice for children to obtain more knowledge.

try to write small sentences and support your ideas with arguments in the next sentence.
i hope that i may be of some help
qamar3811   
Nov 20, 2015
Graduate / MS/MA in Statistics: Grad School Statement of Purpose [4]

Hi Tianxiaoye,
your writing is superb, sentences are nicely structured.
kindly review it from someone who has good English grammar skills to remove minor errors, other than that its perfect.
a few i noticed are
there are typhoons that frequent the east coast and droughts occur in...
as a person who cares a lot...
to pursue this goal I have decided....
one of the labor market studies i conducted...
in the last 20 years were different...

I hope these help
qamar3811   
Nov 20, 2015
Scholarship / Describe a figure or movement which has provided inspiration within your own life. [6]

Hi Yan ,
your topic selection is good, your writing describes the essence. i think you should review the grammatical errors. some sentences are in past tense and then their connecting phrases are in present.

also try to use punctuation.
for instance...
she never abandoned me, never did so lose hope
she woke up at dawn and walked alone to the next town
she would return home only after she had nothing left to sell
in the evening she would set again

and remove word 'around' when describing time. just use at 6 or at 4.
remove 'as a son' when your father abandons you.
consider these minor changes, it will make your peace objective and pleasant to read.
qamar3811   
Nov 19, 2015
Scholarship / 'I developed a slight tendency towards project management.' Mundus Scholarship letter [9]

Motivation letters for Erasmus Mundus scholarship

While studying as an under graduate student at University of Peshawar. I developed a slight tendency towards project management. In the courses of business administration it was a minor subject and was not taught as in detail such as accounting or economics.

But it was not after I completed my graduation and started working as a Research Consultant that I developed a knack for it. As I worked there for a few months I started to grab the importance of strategic project management in the business world. There at Khyber Pukhtunkhwa Development Network we were conducting monitoring and evaluation survey for three projects undertaken at district level. It was imperative that these projects be managed simultaneously through each phase. And for that, project management proved to be a corner stone.

I worked as a Parliamentary Associate at National Assembly of Pakistan under the European Union Project titled Improving Parliamentary Performance in Pakistan". I have had the honor to work at Project Management Unit of the project at National Assembly of Pakistan. I acted as a liaison for the implementing partners of the project. We conducted regular meetings, designed policy and did follow ups on the sub tasks entailed in the project. We received feedback and modified our strategies according to the feedback. Every Monday we would sit at the conference table and tally our development with our logical framework analysis and modify our goals with our timeline. Working in the " Improving parliamentary performance in Pakistan" enhanced my skills and I learned firsthand about how to take a project at National level and developed serious interest in Strategic Project Management.

I have remained a capable student through my academic career. I have good grades in most of the subjects I read in school and college. I always participated in co- curricular and extra- curricular activities. I was on football team at our college. I was member of the debating society, essay writing club and arts club. At University I was member of Blood Donors society. It was the biggest society at university and had 2000 members. I had the honor to be secretary for 2 years. We organized free blood donation camps and our members donated blood regularly at major hospitals in Peshawar. I represented my university twice in Mind Quest Competition held at Lahore University of Management Sciences in 2009 and 2011. I participated as stage secretary in different seminars at our university on many occasions.

I come from a far flung and backward area of Parachinar, Kurram agency. It is one of the seven agencies that comprise FATA. Federally administered tribal areas, as they are otherwise called have a rugged mountainous terrain, with literally no health care and education facilities, still ruled under the black rule of Frontier Crimes Regulations. I worked hard as a boy in school and was selected in the prestigious boarding school cadet college kohat. I passed my Secondary and Higher secondary school examination from there in 2005 and 2007.then I took admission in university of Peshawar and graduated in business administration in 2011. I had the honor of studying on Higher Education Commission grant at university of four years.
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