Posts by hamed54321 [Suspended]

hamed54321

May 30, 2016

Writing Feedback / TOEFL independent essay: Would you maintain your customs if moving to another country? [3]

Hi
Your writing is very good and with a little more practice you can have a very good score in TOEFL
Pay attention to the following points:
1)if you use a proverb, be sure to translate it correctly.
2)work at a certain ~~hour~~time
3)I had to get used to a different hour ~~for~~to have dinner
4)identifying deeply with the surrounding environment (I could not understand the meaning )
5)try~~ing~~ to do all the activities
6)being seduced (maybe find a better word ) by the great popular celebrations :)))))
7)and who changes everything
If you liked my points please like it :)))
With a bit more practices, you can have the best score in your exam
BEST OF LUCK

hamed54321

May 29, 2016

Writing Feedback / You need to travel from your home to a place 40 miles away. Compare different kind of transportation [4]

Hi
I am agree with sinahector
your essay is very good and just need some corrections:
I may have a car crashed => I may have a car crash OR I may have a car accident
repairing the car allocate=> repairing the car needs
harmful environmental damage=>harmful has the same meaning as damage so use one of them
They polluted=>They pollute
making a lot of noise=>make a lot of noise
I think if you study more samples you will receive a very good score
(If you find my points helpful,please "like" it :)))) )

hamed54321

May 29, 2016

Writing Feedback / It is the visitors' responsibilities to learn how to behave properly when they visit other countries [4]

Hi
very good writing!!!!
Some pints:
All countries have different and unique cultures=> different countries have different and unique cultures
visitors' responsibilities=>visitors' responsibility
both view=>both views

good luck

hamed54321

May 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / All students should have equal chance to register at the university. [3]

Hi
I believe your writing is very good
your reasons are good and well explained with good examples,
(I am not a professional ) I think there are some mistakes:
that a college or university
While others believe that
based ~~Depending~~ on my personal experience
everyone ~~all~~ should
at ~~the~~ university
some people are interested
acclaim ~~that~~ is about
Try to read more samples(I am doing, and it helps a lot)
Best luck

hamed54321

May 27, 2016

Writing Feedback / What is the most important thing in a relation? [3]

Several studies show that people tend to communicate with each other or as a famous quote: "Human are social animals" that means we could not live without relation with one another. This "relation" keeps our society relations and living among other human being possible.

To protect this integral part of our life, communication with others , I believe that the utmost important thing is to be honest and I am going to demonstrate my point of view in the following paragraphs.

First, the most important outcome of telling the truth in a relation is a sense of trust. With this trust, one can continue and prosper a relation more and more. For example when I was studying for TOEFL exam I listened and used any suggestion that were proffered by my teacher because I haven't heard anything but truth and as a result I fully trust him.

Second, when in a relation one tells the truth, he/she can expect the other person involve in the relation does it too, and this feeling creates a sense of relief in either side of a relation. When I was at university I had a girlfriend and I was totally honest with her and as a result of my attitude .she was honest with me too which ended up in trusting each other more and now we are living together.

Finally ,honesty acts like glue for society. It gathers up people and stick them together and protect them .By studying the history of diversity of nations one can obtain a very important point: A lot of society destroyed and diminished because members of them couldn't support each other due to feeling of dishonesty prevailed in their societies. For example; 1200 years ago Iraq was a powerful country that could overcome all of its problem by the means of a very well united nation. But because of the widespread dishonesty that prevailed among society, they became some separated ,small and weak groups that were not able to solve even the simplest daily problems.

So as I mentioned above the most important thing in a relation is telling the truth because it can create a sense of trust, relief and it can unite a nation.

(if it is possible please let me know your opinion about my grade out of 30 for toefl exam)
Thanks