Phonepasong
Jul 19, 2016
Phonepasong
Jul 19, 2016
Student Talk / Challenges for Chinese to Study English [20]
Reading variety of books and magazine is benefit to improve our writing
Reading variety of books and magazine is benefit to improve our writing
Phonepasong
Jul 17, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS task2: Global warming and deforestation? Which has more devastating impact on our world? [2]
While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world
Discuss both sides and give your opinion
These days, the earth has faced with various environmental issues after the dawn of industrialisation. It is thought by some that the most severe trouble is global warming, whereas others believe that influence of deforestation is worse. This essay agrees that global warming considers to be drastic issue of our planet to deal with.
On the one hand, the effect of global warming has raised the average temperature of the earth's climate system over last few decades. It has been researched by many scientists that global warming causes extreme weather such as heat wave, tropical storm and many more which frequently occur in numerous regions. For instance, many Indians have been killed every year due to the hit of heat wave which temperature approximately reach 50 degrees Celsius, particularly low-income people who are not able to access facilities for relief the hot weather. Hence, it has been argued that global warming is the most serous problem our planet encounters.
On the other hand, some think that deforestation leaves vary negative impact to environment. For example, In Laos which is my home country, Forest area has been dramatically decreased as a result of cutting trees for using in wooden industry in order to support nation's economy, despite this, effect is currently appearing in many aspects such as soil erosion, flood and instinct of wild animal. Thus, the earth devastated by deforestation is obvious.
In conclusion, it is clearly seen that global warming affects all organism and ecosystem in the world. Hence, it is strongly believed that the global warming is global problem in 21st century which every one should raise awareness on how to counters with it.
While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world
Discuss both sides and give your opinion
These days, the earth has faced with various environmental issues after the dawn of industrialisation. It is thought by some that the most severe trouble is global warming, whereas others believe that influence of deforestation is worse. This essay agrees that global warming considers to be drastic issue of our planet to deal with.
On the one hand, the effect of global warming has raised the average temperature of the earth's climate system over last few decades. It has been researched by many scientists that global warming causes extreme weather such as heat wave, tropical storm and many more which frequently occur in numerous regions. For instance, many Indians have been killed every year due to the hit of heat wave which temperature approximately reach 50 degrees Celsius, particularly low-income people who are not able to access facilities for relief the hot weather. Hence, it has been argued that global warming is the most serous problem our planet encounters.
On the other hand, some think that deforestation leaves vary negative impact to environment. For example, In Laos which is my home country, Forest area has been dramatically decreased as a result of cutting trees for using in wooden industry in order to support nation's economy, despite this, effect is currently appearing in many aspects such as soil erosion, flood and instinct of wild animal. Thus, the earth devastated by deforestation is obvious.
In conclusion, it is clearly seen that global warming affects all organism and ecosystem in the world. Hence, it is strongly believed that the global warming is global problem in 21st century which every one should raise awareness on how to counters with it.
Phonepasong
Jul 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / IELTS: Does Advertising encourage people to buy in quantity rather than promoting its quality? [6]
In my opinion , there are two different styles of advertisements, which aim to different merchandise and customers [You should add the thesis statement"This essay agrees that..." to show you main view point .
In my opinion , there are two different styles of advertisements, which aim to different merchandise and customers [You should add the thesis statement"This essay agrees that..." to show you main view point .
Phonepasong
Jul 15, 2016
Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of taking year off and traveling as a backpacker or working in a small company; IELTS2 [6]
Hi Yon, I have a comment on your introduction paragraph as following:
In my opinion, There is no thesis statement in this essay. I see only Hook , paraphrasing and outline sentences. You need to disclose your main point that which one is more advantage or both of them are advantage.
Travel or work in a gap year between college and university is a new trend in the society. Some said this idea was good for teenagers to have a relaxing year while others argued the financial burden caused [The principal benefit is that ......and this outweighs the main drawbacks of...... ] . This essay covers both pros, cons and will give personal point of view at the end.
Hi Yon, I have a comment on your introduction paragraph as following:
In my opinion, There is no thesis statement in this essay. I see only Hook , paraphrasing and outline sentences. You need to disclose your main point that which one is more advantage or both of them are advantage.
Travel or work in a gap year between college and university is a new trend in the society. Some said this idea was good for teenagers to have a relaxing year while others argued the financial burden caused [The principal benefit is that ......and this outweighs the main drawbacks of...... ] . This essay covers both pros, cons and will give personal point of view at the end.
Phonepasong
Jul 12, 2016
Writing Feedback / The way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology; IELTS writing task2 [3]
Most people generally tend to view things differently, even whether the advancement of technology is gradually changing way of communication in humankind. Although some people claim that technology is an evil that slowly diminishes our humanity, in my opinion, I still believe that it brings everyone closer and helps us to solve many greatest challenges. The following cases and examples will support my point of view.
After coming of the internet which is one of the most powerful technology invented and developed by human, people nowadays generally use it to interact with others by using facebook, whatapp, facetime and etc. They just install those applications in their smart phones or computers connecting to the internet, then they can simply send messages, photos and video calling to their friends or family. For instance, I always call to my friends who are studying aboard by using the said applications on my mobile phone because it is the most convenient and cheapest way to keep contact with them. That's why technology has changed the interact between human and made the world become smaller.
Despite the advantage of technology, there are some negative impacts to our way to interact with each other. People tend to use too much time on electronic devices such as laptops for chatting with their friends at home instead of going to meet them outside. Thus, sometime they might sit in front of computer all day which may cause some health problems. On the other hand, some people think that meeting people by face to face has better feeling than see on the screen.
In conclusion, it is hard to make all people view things in the same way, even in the case of interaction between people has changed due to technology. Some people may agree that technology provide us negative development of interaction between people. However, I still agree that it help us to interact with others easily and keep people closer than before.
Most people generally tend to view things differently, even whether the advancement of technology is gradually changing way of communication in humankind. Although some people claim that technology is an evil that slowly diminishes our humanity, in my opinion, I still believe that it brings everyone closer and helps us to solve many greatest challenges. The following cases and examples will support my point of view.
After coming of the internet which is one of the most powerful technology invented and developed by human, people nowadays generally use it to interact with others by using facebook, whatapp, facetime and etc. They just install those applications in their smart phones or computers connecting to the internet, then they can simply send messages, photos and video calling to their friends or family. For instance, I always call to my friends who are studying aboard by using the said applications on my mobile phone because it is the most convenient and cheapest way to keep contact with them. That's why technology has changed the interact between human and made the world become smaller.
Despite the advantage of technology, there are some negative impacts to our way to interact with each other. People tend to use too much time on electronic devices such as laptops for chatting with their friends at home instead of going to meet them outside. Thus, sometime they might sit in front of computer all day which may cause some health problems. On the other hand, some people think that meeting people by face to face has better feeling than see on the screen.
In conclusion, it is hard to make all people view things in the same way, even in the case of interaction between people has changed due to technology. Some people may agree that technology provide us negative development of interaction between people. However, I still agree that it help us to interact with others easily and keep people closer than before.
