Writing Feedback / Some people think that holding parties, wedding parties, birthday parties are waste of money [3]

TOPIC : Some people think that holding parties, wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is a waste of money. Others, however, think that such parties are important for individuals and for the society.

Discuss two views and give your opinion.

Essay:

As the development of the society, more people choose to celebrate some occasions by holding all kinds of parties,but others oppsite this for it may causes some unnecessary overconsuming.I am of the opinion that even some celabrations are neccesary,but hosting parties without limitation could generates nagative consequences both for individuals and the society.

Those people who belived that parties are the best way to celebrate are used to holding parties for wedding ceremoney or birthday could cause more waste.they follow the view that more people and more fun, and spend lots of money to celebrate it.that would cause more unnecessary cost.To illustrate, many people bring food to the party, with lots of beveage, may not eat up but throw it as trash. we certainly can celebrate those by some economical way,

and encourge people to reduce parties.

Others support the opinion that holding parties cost lots of money.some parties may not necessary for people's daily life,such as holding a party for pets' birthday.This is because it cost lots of money and make no sense at all.Furthermore,some young people tend to join lots of parties which may easily expose to someone who have drug problem or commiting criminal. To illustrate, juvenile can not easily distinguish from right to wrong, they may be affected by bad ones.For those reasons, people oppisite parties certainly have its reasonable points.

To sum up, hosting some parties for important moment is certainly meaningful, but overholding parties could have some nagative influence for individuals and the society,not to memtion it also spend unnecessary money.We need to weight its cons before to decide hosting a party or not.

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PS: I am preparing to improve my writing, and need to achieve band 6 in IELTS's writing. All advices are welcome, no matter it is harsh or not, if possible, please give the essay a score in four criteria as follows:

- task achievement
- coherence and cohesion
- lexical resource
- grammatical range and accuracy
Thanks!!!

Writing Feedback / Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree.. [5]

Some people believe that governments should pay for healthcare and education, but others disagree with this opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Answer:

Nowadays, a number of people are concerned about whether the governments should pay for healthcare and education fee for the citizens, I am of the opinion that government need to provide some financial supports for the citizens about medical insurance and education fee, but the citizens also need to pay little part of the money to relieve the government's economical pressure.

Some people believed that the healthcare and education system are basic needs for the public daily life.In other words, those system cost fee must payed by government, because they are view it as the infrastructure for their in the country.most people can not afford the cost by health problems especially some significant diseases which may cause broken for those families. in addition, accepting education for children is basic right, so the government obviously need to pay it.

Other people have the view that the government may not have enough budget to pay for it.That is because so much infrastructure need the government to deal with, such as building more public parks, hospitals and city roads.

So the public need to consider this and pay some money to lighten the government's burden.

To recap, although the governments need to take care of their people by provide financial assistances to help people in the country to overcome the health and education problems.That is not to say that the citizens do nothing, instead, they have the obligation to pay some fee to lighten the government's burden, by do so, we can make a better sustainable society for all of us.