Writing Feedback / TOEFL : Education is a necessity / Marriage is one of the most important decisions of life [3]

I am trying to develop my writing skills by working on each part individually. What do you think about these Introduction paragraphs?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statements?

"A university education is necessary for success in today's world."

Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion.

Education is a necessity for a person to learn how to participate in society. It can be carried out in a form apprenticeship, which most often was the case in older times, or in a more modern educational system, that is going through stages in schools and getting more specialized in university. While a high school education is obligatory and a basis that everybody needs, attending college might not always be considered as a must. However, with the high rate of advances in the technology and science, the structure of the society and requirements for surviving and flourishing in it are changing as well. Adaptation to this high rate of change requires a higher and more advanced form of education, which make me believe that attending college satisfies this requirement to a great extent based on the following reasons.

Compare the advantages of marrying at a young age to marrying at an older age.

State and support your preference.

Marriage is one of the most important decisions of one's life, which can change the person either for the better or worse. The age of the couple can be highly influential on the outcome of the it. Whether getting married at a young age or at an older age both have some advantages that might vary for each individual. Although many might argue that getting married at a young age would have negative outcomes, I believe the advantages of getting married at a young age outweighs its disadvantages.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL writing: Internet brought a load of information to its users [4]

The widespread use of the internet has given people access to information on a level never experienced before. How does this increase in the availability of information influence life in today's world?

availability of information online

Although it might be believed by skeptical that the load of information on the internet is not very dependable and can be used to manipulate the general view of the people toward certain topics, I believe that the advantages of this wide access to information outweighs its disadvantages. One can simply come to the conclusion that productivity, quality of life, and people's ability to think has been improved as a direct result of vast availability of the information.

To begin with, from an industrial point of view, the availability of information, whether it be the technical or social, increase the productivity of people. What might once have learnt through years of apprenticeship, can be learnt in significantly shorter amount of time using the available information on the web. People who want to develop their own products can obtain the technical information necessary through the technical journals. The access to the web helps the developer further with the easier marketing of the product. This pattern can be seen once one look at the large number of startup companies and all the updates and developments that is done on existing products.

Additionally, access to the information about all the advantages and disadvantages of the products increases the expectancy of the costumers as well. Once people know that they can obtain a product with same function but greater quality and lower price, they would not prefer the lower quality- which once might be thought as the only choice. As a result, more care is given toward the product design and marketing by the developer.

Finally, politically speaking, the abundance of information on the web helps people become much more conscious about their life choices. Getting the news from multiple sources, people are obliged to think for themselves and analyze the events critically for any further decision. For instance, access to the writings and interviews of political specialists about the current political event around the globe might increase one's understanding of the event and also the governments reaction to the incidence. This leads to better judgment of the governments' actions and also increase the expectations of people; thus higher availability of information, though indirectly, pushes the leadership toward a better direction.

In conclusion, analyzing the effects of the vast availability of information from industrial and political point of view, it helps people to develop themselves, the industry, and their leaders. Although it goes without saying that using this opportunity is as important as having access to it. What might seem a great tool, would be useless once it is not used.