Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing task 2: Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged to control car ownership [3]

Hello!
You have some good thoughts with your essay. Here are a few small suggestions I have for you.

I think your essay would be a little better if you can include all the detrimental effects of increasing vehicles on roads. In your essay, the only problem highlighted is air pollution. If you add a few more things to support your perspective, that will better highlight why we need alternate modes of transport.

Examples include- Air pollution, traffic congestion, noise pollution, finite nature of fossil fuels, global warming, etc and how these negatively impact human health and irrevocably damage the environment.

After highlighting the problem with cars, move on to alternate solutions - Public transport, cycling or walking for short distances ( improves health by reducing obesity), solar or electric powered vehicles, increasing taxes with more than one vehicle per household, etc.

This will make it a well balanced essay.
The facts that you have given about better planning of cities and added an example of how Canada as a country tackled it's problem is very good.

If you have any further queries, don't hesitate to ask.
Good Luck! :)

Writing Feedback / The national news should be prioritized over international news as it may relate to our daily lives [2]

Hey!
You have some good ideas with respect to your essay.I have a few suggestions that I feel can help you.
The major problem I feel is grammatical errors or errors in use of tense in certain places.
Another thing I wanted to point out is the careful use of conjunctions. Make sure your sentences don't become unnecessarily long because of using too many and also don't start a sentence with one.

It's also always better to organize your ideas and present them into discrete paragraphs before writing your essay.
Para 1 - Introduction into the topic and which side appeases to you.
Para 2 - Dive into the heart of the topic. The above IELTS task asks you to explore both sides. What advantages national media holds and then how does it vary from the international kind, the ill effects of both and how they compare, etc.

Para 3 - You reiterate your reason for picking the side you choose in a simple sentence or two as your conclusion para.

I am going to do a quick correction of your first 2 paragraphs.
It is undeniable that news keeps has an important role in daily life our daily lives. Whereas While a handful of arguments state that national information should be paid attention to, others claim that it is essential to read worldwide news. In my opinion, I believe that it is better to prioritize national news over international ones.

The most supported idea for focusing on worldwide information is that people need to know what happened abroad in other to either protect their country or show sympathy to other nations. (THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE IS THE ONE WHICH IS ABNORMALLY LONG)For example, by updating news knowing about the Covid-19 epidemic pandemicoriginated originating in China beforehand, civilians in foreign countries are were able to not only keep safe for both themselves and their nations by carefully doing the right things that can prevent the virus, but they can also give support to other countries being in danger, which really need to be empathized themselves safe by being well informed on prevention but they were also able to offer support to other countries on a humanitarian basis. However, rarely does the world have such a devastating event to care about.

An example of a better conclusion...
While it is always important to keep ourselves updated with news of events happening around the world to be well informed, priority has to be given to local or national news which directly impacts our day to day lives and to which the person can contribute to.

Your essay just needs a little more work to make it an excellent one.
Practice makes perfect.
Good Luck! :)

Letters / T1- You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major [3]

Hey!
It's a well written essay. I have a few suggestions, that I feel will make it better.
1) Considering that this is a writing assignment, always try to be formal. While we may seldom speak this formally in real life, that is what most questions demand to assess your language skills. Example -You usage of superb, Thank God!, etc

2) This question asks you to describe a news worthy event and I must say you picked a good subject and how you related to it with your own personal experience. While making sure to not exceed the word limit, always try to be as vivid and descriptive as you can while describing a story such as this. You can easily flaunt a good vocabulary set by doing so. I also think that it would be better to describe your own ordeal in more sentences and not simply saying that a similar thing happened to me. Describe everything!

I am going to do a quick correction and add my inputs along the way.

Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2: The growing amounts of sugar-based drink consumption. Reasons and Solutions? [4]

Hey!
You have a decent essay. It could be much better if you focus on correcting certain grammatical errors and use conjunctions appropriately. I would also suggest you to us e simple words instead of complicated ones when to preserve the meaning of the sentence that you intended.

I've done a quick correction of the first para below.
In the past few decades, there has been an unhealthy trend of increasing consumption of sugar based drinks in many countries. This has a detrimental effect on human health and the only way to tackle this problem is by joint efforts of the government and healthcare workers to raise awareness among it's citizens.

You have used the word "although" in an incorrect sense in your opening para. "Have" - "Has" is the appropriate one, etc

You have good content written in your essay about the reasons and solutions to tackle the situation. Try to better frame your preexisting sentences. It's not that they are bad, they could just be so much better.

Good Luck! :)

Writing Feedback / It is argued that knowledge should be spread publicly amongst the academic world [7]

Hello!!

You have extremely good content material with excellent examples to support both statements.
There are some grammatical and few spelling errors that I notice at a glance. I am sure that if you pay more closer attention, you can correct them.

In your first para where you speak for open access to knowledge and information, rather than saying it would be difficult for university students to work with limited data access, you can frame the sentence highlighting the advantage. You are supporting the statement using double negative. I would suggest to stick with the positive.

Example - For instance, university students with free unlimited access to information excel in their fields by having a better understanding of the subject compared to their peers with limited access to knowledge. They are able to be make well informed decisions to further their research and career and in turn uplift the society as capable citizens.

Good Luck!! :)

Writing Feedback / Spending money promoting a healthy lifestyle, or on the treatment of people who are already ill? [4]

Hello!!

You have some good ideas. There is scope for improvement though. I would suggest reading and watching English soaps and movies to get a hang of words and grammar. A few corrections are given below that I would suggest.

1) One glaring mistake I find in the essay is regarding the money involved. The question is speaking about "public money" which would imply the money the government uses and not from an individual citizen's/patient's pocket.

2) Since you agree that spending funds on prevention is better than for treatment, allot most of your essay supporting this argument. It's a good idea to show why the opposite thought prevails as well but I would suggest to keep it to the minimum.

3) Always organize your ideas in your mind and then start your essay.
Pros of Funds in Preventive measures - Less cost compared to the other, Less suffering and mortality among citizens if emphasis is on prevention, Better utilization of resources benefitting all citizens, etc .

Support these ideas with examples if possible - If the Government is investing in parks in local communities, people benefit physically through area available for walking and exercising. It also helps them to be in a good mental state by enjoying fresh air, trees, etc. This helps to reduce non communicable diseases like Diabetes, hypertension and depression.

When you give an example, it solidifies your statement with proof.

Keep practicing and use the above tools mentioned to improve on your grammar.
Good Luck! :)