Undergraduate / Only Better - conquering something a thousand times larger than myself; Common App. Personal Essay [3]

First draft of my Common Application essay. Any comments, suggestions, and feedback are welcome.

For those unfamiliar with certain names and terms, note that I am from the Philippines. Everything in this essay is based in my country.

Prompt:
Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Only Better

After my father first took me mountain biking, I swore that I would never put myself through another such ordeal. It was an uphill battle in every sense. My thighs burned as I strained against gravity; my lungs struggled to extract whatever oxygen they could to keep me from passing out. But I would not go gentle into that good night.

Pedaling on a precipitous ridge overlooking the sea, we arrived at my father's hometown of Bagac, Bataan.

The village made no effort to introduce itself. Trees and unfettered thickets of vegetation gave way to fenced clearings around thatch-roofed huts. Stick-legged carabaos and panting dogs sat in the sun while townsfolk gawked at the Spandex-clad men on their two-wheeled contraptions.

The place was rustic and entirely alien, yet strangely familiar and comforting all at once. I didn't want to leave. But forty years ago, as my grandfather shuttled his family away from here in a silver jeep that would subsequently become his sole source of income in Manila, some inexplicable twist dictated that they would not return. For my father, this meant a scholarship at the Ateneo, the same institution whose halls I tread today. A formal education enabled my father to tap into his potential and ascend the rungs of the corporate ladder.

In a country with virtually no social mobility, my father's success always struck me as uncanny. An empty chair at the dinner table was evidence of what it took to stay at the top. But there were never any hard feelings. Growing up, I lay in bed every night, waiting for dad's invariable kiss on the forehead and the routine "How's my little boy?" Family would always come first.

Perhaps the biggest testament to my father's transformation was the fact that I never knew about his life in Bataan until I was in high school. The shiny bikes, mannerisms, and predilection for fine wine and art never hinted at the hardship he had left behind.

Bringing me to Bagac was my father's wordless way of acquainting me with his reality, and perhaps was also a gesture that would in time help me realize my own. That first cycling trip helped forge my character under the heat of the provincial sun. Dad was always several strides ahead, but he never looked back at me, nor did he slow down when my reserves ran low. Instead I had to pedal harder and faster to keep up.

It was on those mountain roads where I learned the value of awareness, composure, and preparation. "Don't look at the ground," dad told me. "Always keep your head up. Look ten feet in front of you so you know where you're going." . . . And the importance of momentum: "Don't stop pedaling." And inevitably, the power of will and perseverance. "Tired already?"

These were principles that I put to work in school as I explored my ability to come up with ideas and see them through to fruition, whether alone or in a team. These ideals pushed me through the rigors of the honors program and special science curriculum which, when taken together, could become overwhelming at times. Ultimately, however, my father's example framed my ambitions as I decided to vie for an American college education, against some of the world's best and brightest.

In retrospect, there was something euphoric and deeply fulfilling about conquering something a thousand times larger than myself. Cresting an apex was akin to that eureka moment of breaking through a mental barrier after a particularly challenging problem set. This is probably why I was willing to put myself through more grueling cycling trips. I had come to terms with the fact that the only way to improve was to put myself through my paces. Because for my father and me, there is no such thing as "best," only "better."

Undergraduate / YALE UNIVERSITY - Should I apply? [2]

Hi, I'm a Filipino senior looking to apply to Yale University. Everything about the school appeals to me, from its history and residential college system to the academics and the fact that the first week of classes can be spent sitting in on whatever interests you. Needless to say, Yale is as elite and competitive as institutions of higher learning get. I'm trying to weigh my chances and convince my private counselors to let me apply. Here are some details about me.

Intended course(s) of study: something along the lines of Environmental Science or Molecular Biology, and Philosophy

SAT: I'm taking it on November 5, and I'm aiming for 1500+

Member of the honors class since 9th Grade
- advanced core curriculum of Math, Science, English, and Social Studies

Member of the Special Science class since 10th Grade
- accelerated study of Biology, Chemistry, and Physics
- one of 18 students selected after competitive screening process (out of around 100 applicants)
- highest level of scientific rigor in the school
- we have more requirements like an individual portfolio and we use college-level textbooks

Numerical average (from 9th Grade to 11th Grade): 91 / 100, meaning I'm a B+ student by my school's system and an A- by US standards. 3.2 unweighted GPA in my school, 3.7 unweighted GPA in the US.

Extra-curricular activities:
1) Ateneo StudentLink Center (12th Grade)
Co-founder and Director
- Designed and launched program to connect 1200+ students to Filipino corporations and NGOs to facilitate networking for internships and volunteer opportunities
- Worked closely with school administration and third parties to set up program infrastructure and mechanics
- Launched website where students could find information about employers and sign up for work opportunities (ateneostudentlink.com)

2) Sustainability Week (12th Grade)
Organizer
- Arranged event to raise environmental awareness and advocate sustainability among Ateneo high school students
- Invited thought leaders and environmentalists to speak about environmental issues and to encourage students to get involved in volunteer work
- Helped organizations set up booths to showcase products and facilitate information sharing

3) Upbeat Fundraising Concert (11th Grade)
Event Finance Head
- Worked with core committee of five to organize a concert for over 600 attendees
- Raised and managed around USD6000 for Typhoon Haiyan victims and Ateneo scholars
- Received Best in Financial Management Award for efforts

4) International Rice Research Institute (10th Grade)
Delegate
- One of 20 student delegates from the Ateneo
- Learned about the role of agriculture in Philippine history and economy
- Observed research techniques and helped local farmers plant experimental crops

WORK EXPERIENCE
1) Reef Check Conservation Program, Inc., Philippines
Intern and Brand Ambassador
- Learned to identify hard and soft corals, indicator species, and quantitatively assess reef health and biodiversity
- Worked with Dr. Wilfredo Licuanan to develop modules for high school students to promote environmental awareness and careers in science - Conducted educational outreach program and environmental awareness workshop for middle school students at the Holistic Education and Development Center (HEDCen)

2) Tulong Dunong Education Outreach
Academic Tutor
- Prepared lesson plans, course material, and worksheets for weekly tutoring sessions
- Taught English to nine 6th Grade public school students at Fortune Elementary

My first semester senior grades dropped because of college preparations, SAT studying, and extra-curriculars. I'm planning to up the ante this second semester. Hopefully the drop won't be too much of an issue in admissions officers' eyes?

Considering my credentials and my vested interest in Yale, should I apply, and if I do, how are my chances? Note that I am a non-legacy applicant and Yale admits between 20% - 25% of legacy applicants yearly.

Undergraduate / "Glorious to View". Cornell Writing Supplement - College of Arts and Sciences [2]

Prompt: Describe two or three of your current intellectual interests and why they are exciting to you. Why will Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences be the right environment in which to pursue your interests?

(Maximum of 650 words)

My response. Note that I am an international applicant .(542 words):

"Watching Cornell's sesquicentennial "Glorious to View" on YouTube was my version of a campus tour. I have never been to the United States, but hopefully my first trip there will be to Ithaca, the ideal community in which I can see myself being engaged socially, culturally, and intellectually. In particular, I would like to immerse myself in the diverse learning environment at Cornell's College of Arts and Sciences.

The College provides a unique liberal arts education that enables students to explore a wide range of academic interests. This characteristic breadth and depth idealizes the kind of education I would like to receive. Specifically, I aim to pursue my interests in philosophy and biology at Cornell.

In order to deepen my understanding of philosophy as a whole, I would like to attend Professor Tad Brennan's lectures on Hellenistic and Pre-Socratic thought, while peering into the minds of some of the most radical and iconoclastic thinkers of recent history in Department Chair Derek Pereboom's Modern Philosophy class. Discourse on consequentialism and ethical relativity in PHIL 2410 should be a good foundation before arguing about the Philosophy of Science with Professor Richard Boyd. This last course will also tie in neatly with my empirical undertakings at Cornell.

Biology, as with all of science, is a broad and intensive field that relies on constant discovery and the accumulation of organized data. Scientists have an obligation not just to pursue knowledge but also to communicate it clearly and concisely. Therefore, I would like to begin my scientific studies at Cornell with BIOG 2990: Introduction to Research, in order to refine my understanding of the formal research process while developing necessary skills and acquainting myself with relevant scientific literature, tools, and materials.

Later on, I see myself spending quite some time in the Biotechnology Building in Central Campus, exploring the mechanisms of the CRISPR/Cas system with Professor Charles Aquadro, and with Professor William Brown, discussing mammalian cells as a model system. Biotechnology for me is the perfect intersection of biological theory, sustainability, and ethics grounded in philosophy. These disciplines and modes of thought align in order to provide scientists with tools to advance the frontiers of human capability.

Outside of academia, I would like to take advantage of Cornell's many extra-curricular opportunities. I am particularly interested in the Biology Service Leaders program, which I feel is a great way to integrate science and public service. I would use this platform to spur action towards local conservation efforts within the Cornell campus and the surrounding jurisdiction of Ithaca. In addition, I would put my research and argumentative skills to use by writing for Logos: The Undergraduate Journal of Philosophy.

My correspondence with Professor Robert Thorne of the Physics Department spoke volumes about his character and of Cornell's culture as an educational institution. "Our biggest impact as professors is in the students we train, not the research we do," he wrote to me in an e-mail. Many more doors are bound to be opened by the recent curriculum review, and I cannot wait to see what Cornell has in store for its students in the near future. In the meantime, I relish the opportunity to compete for a place at an institution where history is not only studied, but made."

Comments and suggestions? I am applying regular decision in January.