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When I was born, my dad has founded his computer based company called ''Intuis Computers''

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Jan 6, 2015   #1

Hello and good day
I am new here and I was wondering can anyone check out my motivational letter for bachelor in computer science at VU Amsterdam University,I have to send it as soon as possible. I had trouble writing it since I have to write CV also and I don't know did I mention here something that I should mention in CV. Please help me, I would really appreciate it. And thank you for your time. You don't know how much this means to me.


Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to apply for a place in the Bachelor of Computer Science at VU University in Amsterdam. My ambitions is to become a Software engineer.

Since an early age, I've always been passionate about computers and I have to thank my dad for it. Eighteen years ago, when I was born, my dad has founded his computer based company called ''Intuis Computers.'' As we are living in a small country where technology development was hard and slow, keeping up with the bigger and more successful countries was always a challenge, and sometimes it can result to something good. Having more challenges can raise your motivation to be better and to succeed in the area that you like and wish to follow.

Right now, I am in my last year of Third Belgrade Gymnasium. That is the strongest and the most qualified high school in Belgrade as it requires the highest score on the graduation exam. My wish to go there and to be surrounded with the most intelligent young people in our country has proven to be one of the best choices I have made in my life. Not only I have gained knowledge from my professors, I have also learned a lot from other students. Through out my high school I have just proved to myself that computers and technology are not just my hobby, they are my future.

I was really young when I first started using a computer. Although it was only for fun since I was too young to know anything else, it was a great way to start developing my interest in it. Even in my kinder garden I was teaching other kids some of the basics as I was exploring it by myself.

In primary school my interest in natural sciences has grown, I have been to several competitions in Maths and Physics and I was always pleased with my results, since I was the best in my school. After five years a new subject was introduced to us. It was Computer science and I immediately signed up for extra classes because I wanted to build my knowledge even more,so I always stayed after school with two of my favourite teacher to work more.

My dad was really proud and he could not always believe that I am interested in his work. His is always there, ready to answer all of my question, to show me everything. As I worked more my curiosity was bigger and bigger.

At the end of my primary school I already had a good and wide knowledge in Computers. I explored the basics of programming and I was sometimes interested in hacking. I did hack some of the games I used to play at that time, using different applications ,that's when I wanted to have a deeper understanding of software programming and also application development.

In high school, I have chosen socio-lingual course because a great Informatics professor was teaching there. He has a PhD from Belgrade University- Faculty of Organizational Sciences and his name is Milenko Macura. I had three classes per week and our program was always rich and well organized. My course has focussed on a variety of specialist tools such as working in Microsoft Word,Power Point,Excel, basics of programming such as working in Pascal and Delfi,Algorithm Analysis, creating Database Systems,and now working in Microsoft Access. My professor has helped me these years to develop my skills,I have also took extra classes from Informatics. Our schools maybe don't have the best technology equipment but if you love something enough and if you try your hardest you can achieve a lot.

In addition, as my graduation work I have chosen Computer Science where I have to write 20 pages about Operating Systems and their development and defend it. At the moment, I am taking a Math course for Electrical Engineering University because I know that this will be a great way to sum up my knowlagde and Math skills.

I may say that I am lucky since I had an opportunity to see what and how my dad works. I have been volunteering in his firm I know how his path to success was hard and my desire is to continue it. I have to believe in myself and in my skills, I am willing to share them with other students who love computers as much as I do, and also learn from them as I think that team work is essential in this area! There is no doubt that people together can make wonders. I have a great passion,so many visions and ideas, and I know that this program can help me achieve my dreams and a great foundation that will prepare me in programming, design and algorithm work. I have heard so many positive feedbacks and experiences and I am sure that VU Amsterdam is the right university for me.I am willing to pursue my dreams and work hard for them to come true.

Thank you so much for your time for considering my application. I really appreciate it.

maximu5 4 / 11 2  
Jan 6, 2015   #2
I would say the overall idea is good, but i there are grammatical errors and mistakes, i am currently unable to fix and and write them here at the moment. And you should also mind some words and replace them. Like the word "ambition" - fits with words like world conquest or to something of a similar scale, while you had written of only becoming a software engineer, you can't say that. And i wonder whether mentioning your schools is the best one there, hardly supports your essay or thesis, as it can backfire in some ways , undesired. The quality of an overall essay is , i would not bad, but you still need to review some words and expressions, and give a double check to the grammar
OP Guest /  
Jan 7, 2015   #3
Thank you so much ,I will definitely fix it!
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 7, 2015   #4
A motivational letter is still formatted as a regular academic essay, not as a formal letter addressed to a particular person or body. So that is a formatting problem that you need to address. Your motivation is clearly the only topic that needs to be discussed in this essay. Remember, you are not writing a personal statement or a statement of purpose. What the admissions officer needs to read about is the motivation or foundation for your desire to major in computer studies. What were the influences in your life that led you this point? That said, discussing every detail of your high school education not related to your interest in computers becomes irrelevant. Try to focus your attention on the way your father's company influenced your desire to pursue this major. You don't have to write a detailed CV in this letter because you have other documents and common app essays submitted that will provide that information to the admissions officer in greater detail. Focus the content of your essay and complete the theme that you wish this motivational letter to deliver. Build up your motivation for this major. That is what works best for this type of essay.

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