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Chinese origin,Born & raised in Netherlands; Motivation Letter/Int Business Admin


mikan_sakura 1 / -  
Apr 9, 2012   #1
Hey everyone! I am applying for the Bsc in International Business Administration in Holland.
I'd like to know what you think of this letter and i'd also like to know if the grammar is correct.
Any response would be greatly appreciated, Thanks in advance!

these 4 items had to be included in the motivation letter:
1. The international background you have, including nationality, place of birth or residence, previous education, international experience
2. Why you want to enrol in the English-language Bachelor International Business Administration
3. Why you choose RSM
4. Your career aspirations

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I am interested in completing the Bachelor's Diploma in International Business Administration at the Rotterdam School of Management.

My name is ---. I am a 18-year-old girl of Chinese origin, born and raised in the Netherlands. I will be graduating from VWO soon and I have been preparing myself for the Bachelor of International Business Administration these past couple of years by obtaining Cambridge University's certificate in Advanced English, the HSK Chinese language certificate and by travelling back and forth to Shanghai. Being Chinese my parents find it very important for me to be familiar with my own roots so they let me visit China every summer vacation. I must say that everytime I'm in Shanghai I really notice the difference in mentality the people have towards life, people are always aiming for being the best in anything they do. This has inspired me a lot, seeing my family on the other side of the world working so hard has made me think of what I want to do with my own future.

The reason why I have chosen IBA at the Rotterdam School of Management is that it offers me the opportunity to work in an internationally diverse environment and also the opportunity of international exchanges. I was raised bilingually, because my parents found it important for me to have Dutch as my native language as well as to speak Mandarin Chinese fluently. When I was little my parents have always taught me to think as a Chinese person, while at school I had to adapt the Dutch way of life. Because of this I have developed an open-minded view towards people.

Rotterdam School of management is my first choice, because it's ranked as the 7th best business school in Europe by The Financial Times. RSM also has a strong international setting which I find appealing as I want to meet different kinds of people with different backgrounds. Aside from this I think that Rotterdam is a fascinating and exciting metropolis and the perfect place to broaden my horizon.

I firmly believe that Rotterdam School of Management will give me the best chances to develop myself and open doors for my future career aspirations.

In 10 years I hope to see myself improving the business ties between Europe and Asia, especially between the Netherlands and China. With my international and bilingual background I am able to see things from another point of view. I have experienced the differences and similarities between the Western and Asian cultures and I would like to improve one of the most important things in business between these two continents: the communication. I hope to be able to share my view with other international students and I hope to learn a lot from them as well. I am confident that IBA on RSM will open new horizons in my life.

Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours Faithfully,

---

So what is your first impression?
Beautifulchaos 2 / 2  
Apr 9, 2012   #2
My first impression is that this is brilliant. In this letter you show me that you have the skills to do what you are applying to. To me the grammar is correct. Very well written. Would hirer you on the spot. My only suggestion maybe try to make the four points flow into each other instead of just saying here's 1 then 2 and so on.

Hope that helps.


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