Letter of Continued Interest for UPenn

I am not sure if this is in the right format.. Is this concise? Would this letter improve my chances at all? I will send it tomorrow!

Another question! Should I send it to the regional officer or directly to the admissions office? Thanks so much to whoever helps!

Here it is:

May 4, 2014

Dear members of the Admissions Committee:

I am writing to reiterate my interest in becoming a member of UPenn's Class of 2018. While the University of Pennsylvania has been my top choice since I began the application process, my interview with Mr. Terrence Seller and further research of the Annenberg School of Communication have made it clear that the University of Pennsylvania would be a perfect fit for me.

While I know that UPenn has a lot to offer me as a student, I also feel that I would bring a unique perspective to my class and become a dynamic contributor to the community. In my current role in the Service Committee for the National Honors Society, I have worked with Catholic Charities in a project to collect suitcases and other goods to those in need of our community. As a student at UPenn, I will seek to engage in the concentration in Communication and Public Service, where I can utilize and hone the skills I've gained through my previous experiences of serving others.

I also wanted to notify the Admissions Committee of updates to my application. Since submitting the application in January, I have been focused on concluding my high school career with a strong finish. As well as maintaining good grades in school, I have been involved in my church and music. As well as cantoring on regular basis, I have played the ukulele at the First Holy Communion masses and put on a production at the Good Friday Mass. Currently, I am preparing for my senior recital with my voice instructor, Jody Kienzler and for State Oral Math Competition. I look forward to the vast opportunities that are present at UPenn to further develop these interests.

Thank you for your time and continued consideration. While I have already heard back from other great schools, University of Pennsylvania is absolutely my top choice; if I am admitted, I will definitely attend. Please let me know if you have any questions regarding my application, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

Min gi Park

p.s. May the Fourth be with you!
^(Should I include this or no? lol)

I have read your letter of continued interest for UPenn and I have found no spelling or grammar mistakes (please keep in mind I'm only a year 12 student so I'm not expert)

You letter is clear and concise and very persuasive.
Although I would make one ammendment
"While I have already heard back from other great schools..."
Do you mean to say other Universities? I'm not sure...

With regards to your question about sending it to the regional officer or the admissions Office, I have no idea.
Sorry I could not be more help, but to me it sounds perfect! If I worked at UPenn I would want you at the University. :D

P.S Maybe leave our 'May the Fourth be with you'! :)

While I know that UPenn has a lot to offer me as a student , I also feel that I would bring asome unique perspective to my class and become a dynamic contributor to the community.

As well asIn addition to maintaining good grades in school, I have been involved inwith my church and music activities.

Once again, Unless you have extra-ordinary experience, at this stage, they do not care what you can bring to the university. You wrote; "Since submitting the application in January, I have been focused on concluding my high school career with a strong finish. As well as maintaining good grades in school, I have been involved in my church and music.." Is that something above and beyond the call of duty? This letter would not get you off of any waitlist. Again, the key to getting off of a waitlist is to show why YOU NEED that university. How will you utilize the resources of the university to achieve your stated career goals. - Admissions Advice Online