Hi, everyone!
I am going to apply for IT master programme in Germany, so please kindly help me to review, correct and comment my motivation letter.
Thank you in advance!!!
pursuing a master's course in Germany
Dear Sir or Madam,
The purpose of this letter does not only describe how personally interested I am to apply for a Master's program in (program name) at (uni name), but also reveals my previous educational and professional background. As a highly motivated undergraduate majoring in Electrical Engineering at Benha University, achieving 4th rank (mark of 87.1/100) of thesis score among fellow students which researched on "Information systems in Logistics Industry " , was best outstanding result of my wholehearted exertion. This project not only has improved the direction of the latter thesis but also applied 65 percent into practice of Toshiba factory for visual products. It was a great start point in my promising journey.
After Graduation, I worked as a Logistic Engineer in Logistics department at Toshiba Egypt which is the prestige company in the field of electronics and communication technologies as well as IT Engineer at Montajat Pharmaceuticals Company in Saudi Arabia in IT department. Thanks to experiences working with prestige foreign manufacture and technology companies, has sharpened my critical thinking, problem solving and communication skills.
A couple of reasons motivate me to apply for a Master's degree study in (program name), taught entirely in English. Firstly, expanding both my solid education and create more opportunities for my career in the future. My ultimate target is to become an expert in Information Technology field especially in Computer Network which helps in construction and designing developed network systems in Egyptian industry. More significantly, that Egypt has achieved significant progress in building Information Society (IS) but it has generated various weaknesses in Information and Communication Technology system specially Computer Network Infrastructure inside enterprises and factories. Thus, it is undoubtedly that my professional projects after completing the Master program in Germany is to record much more tools in ICT systems and certain level of knowledge in society management which shall create opportunity and confidence necessary to work and contribute to the innovation of my region. Second reason , living and breathing the international atmosphere and integrating with English and German speaking people in order to develop a third language. This is undoubtedly one of the motivations for studying in a country as multicultural as Germany. .
The opportunity to pursue a master's course in Germany represents the next important challenge in my life and momentous millstone to step up onto PhD situation. The last three years have taught me that studying and living abroad can help not only broaden my horizons but also accelerate my personal and academic growth as well. The main reason choosing (uni name) is the high quality of education that the institution offers, the chance of meeting and associating with people from all over the world and to be immersed in a society with global outlook and a model to be followed in my point of view.
In concluding, irrespective of high application prerequisites of this Master course, I am determined to make the most out of this Master course benefits. My international background and interdisciplinary education will add more diversity to program. Furthermore, I will optimize my stay at (uni name) to garner a wealth of ideas that will immediately apply when I return to my country and at the same time contribute to the University's diversity.
Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Best Regards
Samer ZekryHolt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Samer, your motivation letter suffers from Too Much Information. You need to whittle it down to only the required information. As the title of the essay goes, this is a motivation letter so you should not veer off course by presenting information about your education and other irrelevant data. Those should be saved for your SOP. In this motivation letter, you may use paragraphs 3 and 4 as the basis of your revised letter. The motivation letter is not expected to be extremely long and informative. This is only a cover letter after all, so presenting 2-4 paragraphs that clearly explain your motivation to apply for the course and the reason why you chose the university will be more than enough to fulfill the needs of a motivation letter. That is, unless you were given a specific set of prompts to respond to in the motivation letter. If you were, then you should have given a copy of the required information along with this letter for review. If you were not given a set, then use the paragraphs I indicated earlier to help you create a more focused, on topic motivational letter for your application. You don't need to present too much information. You just need to present the correct information.
