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A letter to a newspaper about facilities for shoppers could be improved. Writing task 1 IELTS.

Green77 1 / -  
Oct 9, 2018   #1
Thanks a lot for any feedback.

You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved.

Write a letter to your local newspaper.

In your letter:
· say in general what you like about shopping in your area.
· say what is wrong with the facilities.
· suggest how they could be improved.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my annoyance with the facilities problems in the Shopping Mall. The officials of Shopping Mall have been contacted twice by letters without any further reaction before I decided to ask for your help.

The Shopping Mall become most popular and convenient way to do shopping since it had been opened four years ago. It consists of different shops providing a variety of goods. It is possible to bay almost everything from the grocery to the home appliance the. Spacious parking outside as well as elevators inside the building make shopping comfortable.

Despite many positive features, some annoying problems have been raised. First of all, I should point out the problem with trading equipment like bar scanners at the grocery store's sales point. The queue at cashbox increasing due to repeated scanning of almost any item by the cashier, before beeps confirm successful finish of the scanning process. Secondly, POS-terminals are outdated and do not support the newest ByPass technology, slowing down payment by card process. And finally, I hardly ever find pushcart in proper working condition because of problems with the wheels.

Perhaps it would be a good idea if store officials repair bar scanner and ask POS-terminals support team for upgraded equipment. Also, pushcarts should be at least repaired but renewed ones would be highly appreciated by customers.

Looking forward to your response.

Faithfully yours,
TJLuschen - / 241 203  
Oct 9, 2018   #2
Hi, to me your letter doesn't seem to exactly follow the spirit of the prompt. This is a letter that would be written to the mall owners themselves, not to a newspaper. The prompt is talking about a general shopping district or area, an area without one specific owner. Still, you do seem to have addressed the points in the prompt, so that is good. Here are some specific suggestions:

... my annoyance at the problems with the facilities in the Shopping Mall. {don't capitalize shopping mall. Only capitalize proper names, like "Eastside Shopping Mall"}

... letters without any further response before ...

The Shopping Mall has become the most ... way to shop since it had been opened

... It is possible to buy almost everything from groceries to home appliances there.

... problems have been revealed. ... the problem with transaction equipment ... The queue at the cashbox seems to increase day by day due to ... almost every item

... slowing down the payment ... ever find a pushcart ...

... repair the barcode scanner and ask the POS-terminals ...

... repaired but replacing them completely would be ...

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