Letter of Reccomendation for Education Master Program - on behalf of my Professor

Hi, my name is Fadlila, I'm planning to apply to an education graduate program and my professor told me to write this letter of recommendation on his behalf, since he doesn't speak English. English isn't my first language either so my friend referred me to this website, I hope you could help me correcting this letter.

Thank you!

To Whom It May Concern;
It is my pleasure to recommend Fadlila for admission to your graduate program. I have known Fadlila for about four years (2011-2015) as one of the potential students in our undergraduate program. I came to know her better when I became her mentor in her thesis counseling. I'm impressed by her skills and her fortitude in social science field, particularly in elementary school education.

Fadlila was an undergraduate student in Elementary School Teacher Education program at Sebelas Maret University. Over her learning period in the undergraduate program, she showed her quality by constantly kept her excellent grades and consistently placed above her peers in terms of analyzing skills, critical thinking, and understanding the course material. She also maintained a GPA of 3.4 or better throughout the course and managed to graduate as top 5% in her batch with the CGPA of 3.71.

Her prominent traits are enthusiastic, ingenuous, and exceptionally dedicated as an education learner. Her devotion towards education is shown by her commitment when she did the internship as an elementary school teacher in XX Elementary School of Surakarta from September to November 2014. She performed not only as a teacher, but also manager of student extracurricular activities, counselor to the students with special needs, and she did it splendidly. Outside her activities in the campus, she built her experience to teach children by tutoring a student from XX Elementary School of Surakarta and a student from XX Junior High School as a part-time private teacher.

I consider her as a creative educator and still have so much potential in the subject; it is shown by her choice in her thesis to design the rarely used diorama media in her classroom action research, made of colorful clay into various objects according to the learning material to spark the interest of elementary school students and succeeded in attaining the better learning process and result. Fadlila has a promising writing skill and in overall good communication skill as well. She states her ideas clearly and examines her writing subject by doing an elaborate back-up research from various points of view, all written in a concise and comprehensive manner.

I am pleased that Fadlila is planning to enroll on graduate school to make the most of her potential. I believe that she has the competency and enthusiasm in the education world, and she is capable to complete a master's degree in a timely fashion with excellent result. I have no doubt that Fadlila will be a determined and dedicated student and she will grow into a capable academician.

I recommend her very highly and please feel free to contact me for any further information.

Regards,

Prof. XXXXX

Hi Fadilla, listen, since your professor's main connection with you is as your thesis counselor, you should not be mentioning your experiences in training and other parts of your CV that the professor would not know about because he or she was unable to see you performing those actions. Just stick to the thesis related topics. By the way, please present your full name at the start of the letter and then have your professor address you as Ms. (last name) throughout the letter. Calling you only Fadilla makes the formal letter sound very informal and removes the connotation of a formal relationship between you and your professor. Always maintain the professional tone of the recommendation letter since this is an official document that you will be submitting.

The parts that I believe you should remove from the essay are the following paragraphs. I will only state the opening sentences so be conscious that you have to delete the whole paragraph when editing the essay:

Her devotion towards education is shown by her commitment when she did the internship as an elementary school teacher in XX Elementary School of Surakarta from September to November 2014.

I'm impressed by her skills and her fortitude in social science field, particularly in elementary school education.

By removing the above parts, you will make it less obvious to the reviewer that it was not the professor who wrote the letter of recommendation. Once you have revised the content of the essay, you can work on cleaning up the problems with the grammar structure of the paper and also finalize the content and format of the letter.

Thank you @vangiespen, I've edited the letter based on your notes and write some addition, please kindly recheck it. Every feedback means a lot to me, thanks :)

To Whom It May Concern;

It is my pleasure to recommend Fadlila Muris for admission to your graduate program. I have known Ms. Muris for about four years (2011-2015) as one of the potential students in our ...

Hi Fadilla, I hope you won't mind if I edit your letter a little bit more just to improve the content and structure ok? My corrections will be in capital letters so that you can easily see it. Here is how I see your essay looking:

To Whom It May Concern;

It is my pleasure to recommend MS. Fadlila Muris for admission to your graduate program. I have known Ms. Muris for about four years (2011-2015) as one of the potential students in our undergraduate program. I came to know her better when I became her mentor in her thesis counseling.

Ms. Muris was an undergraduate student in THE Elementary School Teacher Education program at Sebelas Maret University. Over her learning period in the undergraduate program, she showed her EXEMPLARY quality QUALITIES by constantly kept KEEPING her excellent grades and consistently PERFORMING placed above her peers in terms of analyzing skills, critical thinking, and understanding the course material. She also maintained a GPA of 3.4 or better throughout the course and managed to graduate as top 5% in her batch with the CGPA of 3.71.

Her prominent traits are MS MURIS SERVED AS AN INSPIRATION TO OTHERS BECAUSE OF HER enthusiastic, ingenuous, and exceptionally dedicated DEDICATION as an education learner. I consider her as a creative educator and still have HAS so much potential in the subject; it is AS shown by her choice in her thesis to design the rarely used diorama media in her classroom action research, made of colorful clay into various objects according to the learning material to spark the interest of elementary school students and succeeded in attaining the A better learning process and result.

Ms. Muris has a promising writing skillS and in overall good communication skill as well. She states her ideas clearly and examines her writing subject by doing an elaborate back-up research from various points of view, all written in a concise and comprehensive manner. Other than her writing skill, she is AN articulate in spoken words and it is PERSON AS demonstrated in CLASS discussion sessions and daily communication. She describes her points concisely with firm arguments, but also communicative and YET, IS flexible ENOUGH to reach the A CONSENSUS conclusion regarding the ANY discussed issue.When working in A group, she exhibits her quality as a level-headed person, WHO gives satisfying resultS by putting in extra effort in the given task while maintains her group solid IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN A SOLID GROUP and would take the lead if necessary with no hesitance.

I am pleased that Ms. Muris is planning to enroll on IN graduate school to make the most of her potential. I believe that she has the competency and enthusiasm TO SUCCEED in the education world, and she is capable to complete OF CPMPLETING a master's degree in a timely fashion with excellent resultS. I have no doubt that Ms. Muris will be a determined and dedicated student and she will grow into a capable academician WORTHY OF BEING CALLED AN ALUMNA OF YOUR UNIVERSITY.

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I hope that you will be appreciative of the recommendations to improve the essay that I have made :-)

Whoa, thanks a lot @vangiespen, or should I call you Louisa? Anyway I do appreciate your help, thanks again and have a good weekend ahead!

Hi Alfisa, I'd like to help out with your letter.

- It is my pleasure toI am writing with pleasure in recommending Fadlila for admission to your graduate program.
- I'm impressed bywith her skills
- and her fortitude in the social science field, particularly inof elementary school education.

- qualityqualities by constantly
- kept herkeeping excellent grades

- Her prominent traits areShe's enthusiastic, ingenuous,
- and exceptionally dedicated as an education learnereducator .

- FadlilaShe also has a promising writing skills
- and in overall good communication skills as well.

I highly recommend her very highly and please feel free to contact me for any further information.

Alfisa, it's quiet long and as much as I don't doubt that your recommendation is genuine, I believe you have said so much about the student to the point that you lost the idea that she is gunning for a Master's degree and not just another course in college.

Try to add a sentence or couple about her professional capacity and credibility as a future member of the faculty.

Hi @justivy03, thanks for your correction, would definitely take notes especially about adding the professional capacity and credibility as a future member of the faculty. Enjoy your weekend :)

Fadila, you have been specific as you clearly stated the year so there the "about" should go away.
Hope this helps