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Review my Motivation Letter for Erasmus Mundus Master's In Biomedical Imaging

dpk111092 1 / -  
Feb 14, 2020   #1


Over the years, the amalgam of physics, chemistry, mathematics, biology, and computer science has proved cardinal in improving quality of life, advancement in medical technology and assisting doctors by myriad diagnostic tools. However, there are still life-threatening diseases (like cancer, cardiovascular and chronic kidney disease) which pose multiple challenges to scientists and engineers who are working with an aim to develop a fully efficacious method to exterminate these problems. My unforgettable experience (briefly explained later) from one of the problems has thoroughly changed my perception of human life and galvanized my desire for contributing to the medical field through a carrier in research. From the last 2 years, I have been involved in research of photoacoustic imaging (an emerging imaging modality) which whetted to explore more about the fundamentals of biomedical imaging. Therefore, in line with my goal of pursuing research, I believe Erasmus Mundus Joint Master Degree EUROPHOTONICS program in Biomedical Imaging would act as a stepping stone to achieve this goal.

I had obtained my Integrated Master's degree in Biomedical Engineering from the Indian Institute of Information Technology, Allahabad, one of the prestigious engineering institute in India. My curiosity in medical field arose greatly when my mother was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease (as stated above). At that time I had seen various biomedical instruments, observed surgical procedures and witnessed different treatment protocols. My motivation for research grew stronger when she passed away in the third semester. That was the biggest shock of my life which deeply affected my studies for some time however I collected myself with the support of my family and friends.

The experiences I got during her illness inspired me to meticulously work on my involving electronics, bio-signal processing, and coding. Later on, these skills proved instrumental in learning Medical Imaging when I was introduced to it in seventh and eighth semesters by Dr. Ratan Saha. His lectures and subsequent assignments helped me a lot to understand the basic physics of Medical Imaging. He also took our entire batch to a Cancer Hospital in our city, there my interaction with doctors, radiologists, and cancer patients helped me to understand current progress in radiation therapy and also areas that need improvements. One of the limitations that I noted was the lack of real-time monitoring and characterization of tissue undergoing radiation. On further literature surveying about this problem, I found out that optical imaging techniques can be utilized to accomplish these problems.

I graduated in 2018 and got research assistant position at Dr. Saha' lab. My involvement in lab project helped me in gaining research experience and publishing research articles at International Journal and Conferences. Additionally, it provided me a first-hand experience of working in a group, the importance of perseverance in a research field and taking criticisms of a reviewer as positive feedback. The research experience I got while working under Dr. Saha exhorted me to explore the diagnostic, therapeutic and theranostics use of optics in medicine and bolstered my decision for applying to master's program.

I have selected EUROPHOTONICS program in Biomedical Imaging because I have found that its comprehensive course structure, research facilities available in labs and faculties involvement in cutting-edge research (in biomedical imaging) will be the ideal place for me to pursue graduate study. I am interested in DIMABIO group at Institute Fresnel and Biophotonics group at Karlsruhe Institute of Technology whose research works are very well aligned to my interests. Furthermore, the program's cosmopolitan environment will not only enhance my professional development but also facilitate the development of strong academic networks which are believed to be an essential element for a successful career in academia. Being the part of this program will be a big step in increasing my skills and knowledge for realizing my professional ambition of becoming a competent researcher.

In conclusion, I am aware that strong dedication, devotion, and determination are required to pursue a career in research. I am sure that my motivation, quest for knowledge and a strong passion to contribute in the field of biomedical imaging will drive me to achieve my carrier objective. I, therefore, look forward to beginning my journey as a graduate student in your program.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,923 3562  
Feb 15, 2020   #2
The letter has committed a major crime. You must never use all caps and parenthesis in your presentation. In a formal essay, all caps are considered disrespectful to the reader and yes, even shouting at times. As for the parenthesis, you keep talking in "aside" when you need to be talking directly to the reviewer. Remove the all caps and all information in parenthesis. Speak respectfully and directly to your interviewer.

The overall essay contains too much information because you accidentally included information for the statement of purpose in this essay. Let me help you out with that by pointing out the relevant paragraphs that should be in the motivational letter: par. 1,2,3, and 5. All the other information does not belong in the motivational letter. You will have to revise the content of those paragraphs to create a better essay though.

For the first paragraph, discuss the illness of your mother as the catalyst that pushed you to learn more about medical hardware. Then explain why her death pushed your desire to learn more about how Europhotonics might have been able to save your mother. Since that time has passed, your focus now is to help others who are suffering from illnesses, through the use of this technology. It would be best if you can combine the information from paragraphs 1,2, and 3 into the new first paragraph.

As for paragraph 5, it needs a slight revision to include a reference to your academic goals as it aligns itself with the 2 year course offering of this university. Bear in mind that the academic vision you have for yourself is part of the motivation for your studies so you have to strengthen that aspect. While you can touch on the social aspect of studying abroad, it should be mentioned as little as possible in relation to your motivation to pursue your academics in that university and location.

You don't need 6 paragraphs for this essay. Anywhere between a 3 - 5 paragraph letter will be fine. 4 paragraphs would be the ideal letter presentation.

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