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Reviewing a Motivation Letter for MSc Robotics University of Bristol


sethivansh6 1 / -  
Apr 15, 2023   #1
Requirement on University website - Personal statements should highlight the motivation for applying
for the course, and any relevant experience and/or skills.
In particular, the personal statement must include an outline of
programming experience using C/C++, Python or Java.

I need an expert opinion and critique of my sop

Motivation Letter



If I were to provide a concise summary of my rationale for applying to postgraduate studies, it would be "I need to learn and grow more". Advancements in technology are occurring at a rapid pace, with scientific breakthroughs and innovation happening on a daily basis. As a result, conventional machines and equipment are being replaced by more advanced and sophisticated versions that can adapt to various interdisciplinary approaches. The field of robotics and control systems, driven by the fundamental principles of electronics, mechanics, computer science, and intelligence, has revolutionised the way we perceive and interact with the world around us.

When I wrote the first code of my life in Java in 8th grade, I did not know that my love for logic, computation, and problem-solving would inspire me to take the path of Computer Science in 11th grade. Attending an Arduino workshop to build some hacky projects instilled in me a love for sensors and microcontrollers. On the teachings of my physics teacher in high school to explore the fundamentals of any subject, I started delving deeper to understand electronics, sensors, programming, and algorithms, which eventually led me to enrol in Electrical and Electronics Engineering as the specialisation of my bachelor's degree at the National Institute of Technology, Jamshedpur. Being one of the most versatile branches of engineering, it helped me explore a variety of subjects, from mathematics, physics, electronics, and electrical engineering to computer science.

My bachelor's degree gave me further opportunities to apply computing to solve problems and learn more about them, which was enhanced by learning subjects like Control Systems, Mathematics, and Microprocessors. These subjects, along with Computer Architecture, Electronics, and Programming offered me a blend of theory and practicality and catered to my need to learn the subjects from multiple aspects. To satiate my hunger for technology, I tried to go above and beyond my college curriculum to learn subjects like Discrete Mathematics, Data Structure and Algorithms, Verilog and Data Science using online courses. The added experience I gained through a variety of projects prepared me for the different activities I would be involved in and helped me get acquainted with the application aspect of my learning. Using those learnings, I built multiple projects based on web development, embedded systems, and machine learning, which broadened my understanding of engineering principles.

Working as an embedded system developer intern at Green Quest Pte Ltd, I was inspired by the use of a robotic arm in a waste management system to do the sorting of waste based on its category. Amazed by this blend of mechanics, electronics, and computer science, I ended up creating one robotic arm powered by servo motors and controlled by an ESP8266 microcontroller to give it Bluetooth-controlled functionality.

In addition to this, I have gained valuable software development experience. In the spring of 2022, I interned with Nvidia as a System Software Developer. I had the opportunity to work on the development of software for the Nvidia Tegra SoC. My responsibilities included designing and implementing algorithms for high-performance computing systems based on Linux and QNX, and optimising software for better performance. This experience enabled me to develop a strong foundation in software development using C/C++ and engineering principles, which I believe are essential in developing complex robotic systems.

Working as Software Development Engineer for Amazon for the past year, I got the opportunity to work on the development of large-scale distributed systems. I was responsible for developing software solutions using Java Spring that were reliable, scalable, and cost-effective. This experience enabled me to develop skills in designing software solutions that are optimised for performance and to work with teams across various functional areas. My education background as an electronics engineer, combined with internships and work experience, has helped me develop a deep understanding of embedded systems and programming.

I possess sound skills in computer science and electronics, but I must build on these to achieve my goal of undertaking cutting-edge research in advanced robotics. I am aware that I lack some experience and exposure to mechanical concepts for robotics, but given that I have a solid foundation in engineering, I will be able to grasp the concept easily.

Getting graduate level education through writing and research is definitely a must in today's challenging and highly competitive environment and is the next logical step for me to grow in this field. After the completion of my studies, I expect to acquire a deep insight and understanding of robotics, which will surely enable me to carry on further research work in this field. My decision to pursue higher studies is highlighted by my wish to be part of the excellent and well-rounded Master's programme in Robotics at the University of Bristol and the University of West England. The University of Bristol's reputation for excellence in research, particularly in the field of robotics and autonomous systems, makes it an ideal destination for pursuing a Master's degree in Robotics.

Moreover, the joint programme's interdisciplinary approach, which combines computer science, mechanical engineering, and control systems, aligns with my passion for mechatronics and robotics. After my graduation, I intend to pursue a more research-oriented career and continue my education by going for a PhD. My research interests include robotics, embedded platforms, real-time systems for control and automation, and refining programming paradigms for intelligent systems.

Being part of the academic culture at two of the best universities in the world would be a wonderful opportunity for me, and I hope you will accept my application and allow me the privilege to pursue graduate studies at your institution.

Thanks for reading.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,844 4783  
Apr 17, 2023   #2
If I were to provide ... learn and grow more"

I know that you meant for this to be the impressive hook for your opening statement. However, it did the exact opposite. It made the essay feel generic and common. Why? The statement you made is the very same reason every other applicant will be reiterating for their desire to attend this course. Unless you can think of a more unique, impressive, and memorable statement, it would be better if you do not use that line in the paragraph. If this is your motivation, then you failed to create a believable one.

The University of Bristol's reputation ... Master's degree in Robotics.

You have not proven that you have thoroughly researched the universities in relation to your academic goals and career related expectations. This portion sounds like you could have cut and paste it from an online website. It is devoid of any knowledge of the university background, student community in relation to your masters program, and what you can bring to the studies and community aside from what you already listed previously. What else makes you special enough to attend the course? Why do you think you are unique when others could possibly share a similar background to your own?


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